Post published by Blue jeans
Hey guys I've been away for a while, but just wanted to check in. I'm really struggling with M and lust in general. I've once done the full reboot and got just over 90 days before I crashed. Since then I haven't been able to make much progress, rarely over a week. And lately even a few days is hard. My trigger is going to bed. I feel a really strong urge to M when I go to bed, feel like I can't sleep without it, feel like trying to fight the urge is exhausting. And I just have such a habit of giving in now. I don't only M, I also think of all kinds of things to stimulate me, and of course they get more and more extreme as I become more desensitized. I'm so sick of this but nothing I have tried has worked. Would love any advice/scriptures/prayers, thanks brothers. I really long to live a life of purity and I hate having this massive gross impure habit in my life where everything that I believe and value goes out the window. Yesterday watched fireproof with my girlfriend. Don't know if you guys and gals have seen the movie but I really appreciate the story. And felt quite uncomfortable when it brought up parasites to a relationship. I have told my gf multiple times about my M problem/habit but I hate to think of bringing this impurity, this casualness with sexual sin into our relationship if we get married.
Blessings friends
stavros, Wilderness Wanderer, Ready to Stop and 1 other person like this.
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stavros
Praying for you brother! Maybe try working out and going to bed a little more exhausted?
Blue jeans, Ready to Stop and _hector_ like this.
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_hector_
Blue Jeans, nowadays I am also struggling with MO. I relapsed twice in a week's time.The best thing to do is to avoid thinking about any P. It should be considered as something so insignificant in our lives. We went well on without PMO all through our childhood and we still can do it now.
Praying for you.
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CPilot
I suggest you take a look at the material offered at the top of the Christian forum pages. I am also very impressed with the method which @value is describing each day in his "One Day at a Time" post. Note how he is focusing on maintaining healthy habits of prayer and controlling urges. These things will help you but be patient with yourself. An addiction such as ours takes time to correct but it is certain that when we give up trying to correct it, we can make no progress.
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Tao Jones
Try consistently reaching out to a supportive community. None of us can recover alone. This site can be a great place to find an AP or three. Daily interaction with my network of APs remains the cornerstone of my ongoing recovery work. And the resources available under "Information" tab above are also a great help!
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Looking4Freedom
@Blue jeans Wow! I can only dream of 90+ days. that's gr8! thank you for hitting it home to me that that even after 90+ days we can fall back. I need to be alert or aware. What caused your "crash" after the full reboot? Is is just going to bed that arouses you to M or something else? What is happening in your life leading up to bedtime? I find in my life there are other things I entertain prior which make pulling the trigger much easier. Praying for you brother.
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Looking4Freedom
@Blue jeans sorry, slight edit: I find in my life there are other things I entertain (seeing images of or actual beautiful women, etc.) or things that affect me (like stress, poor sleep, etc.) prior which make pulling the trigger much easier.
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