@Merry Terry - this is excellent thinking. I now know, after experiencing the "forgot what is bad about porn" syndrome, that every single day I MUST face my addictive behavior head on. No complacency allowed. Your mantra about what porn brings to your life are wise words for all of us to think about daily. thanks man!
I gave in today and masturbated. I did not P or use any images. This was on my mind for several days. Thankfully, M wasn’t exciting. Just feels like it’s out of the way now. On to another streak.
@emanuel_free !! Congratulations, after lots of effort you have reached 90 days! I'm happy for you and a little bit jealous. You are now a member of the 90 Day Hall of Achievement!
Thank you for reassuring me I'm on a good track. I've learned throughout what has been a long and hard year, that this idea that PM brings me pleasure is very, very persistent in my head. And as soon as I stop meditating on the truth, this lie comes back with a vengeance. So I just cannot stop telling myself why porn is bad.
Thanks!!! I'm so happy and I know everyone here is able and will get one !! I still will keep moving forward one day at a time. If you agree I have no problems to go to the last place on the ranking again so the rest have the chance to get to the 1st place. 90 is a new beginning for me so it's day 0.
There is an old saying, heavy is the head who wears the crown. You have to wear that crown unless you relapse lol. Keep going! Congratulations!
This is a good sign. Remember the lack of satisfaction or happiness engaging in this behavior results in. I experienced the same thing when I've gone back to PMO - now I try to remember when an urge hits that actually going PMO provides nothing anymore, except remorse and bad feelings. And I use it as a tool to stay clean.
Congratulations @emanuel_free ! Good work. Keep it up. Yeah man, following on what GBF said, I feel like the number on your counter and your number on the leader board need to be the same. If you are at Day 91, you can't just go and say that you're at Day 1. It's not reflecting the truth. And how good would anyone feel about being in the #1 spot when they know that you are actually way past them but humbly stepping aside? It feels great having the top place, but at the same time it also feels weird too. But if that is your place then that is your place and that is where you should be. Being at the bottom of the list when you have the longest streak hurts the legitimacy of the leader board. Just my two cents.
don’t be silly and just don’t think about the rankings. They are not relevant to your personal recovery. Just keep working towards that sash!
Honestly, I have been here before. I don’t really feel remorse or have bad feelings (although occasionally I do). I think those feelings are just part of the cycle, which goes like this: I am horny to the point that I can’t resist - I PMO - I feel bad - I make a commitment to never do it again - I stick to it religiously - I feel horny to the point that I can’t resist- I PMO etc. I am sick and tired of this pattern. I’m trying to sit with it and just accept me for who I am. I think fasting from PMO is a great exercise and it teaches me a lot about myself, but so do my slip ups. I can’t quite articulate it yet. I hope it will come to me.
That's interesting - can we be ok with going PMO every 30 days? Some people have 1-2 drinks alcohol once or twice a week that doesn't make them alcoholic nor is it necessarily interfering with their life function. But if they are drinking everyday for hours at a time, that's problematic. So the same logic...if you PMO 1x every few weeks, is that use, abuse, or addiction? Is that problematic? Maybe not. For me, right now, about 3 months into a concerted effort to end my 30+ yearslong PMO habit, I have to stay away as much as I can because I'm afraid I'll be back to several hours a day every day, and that's not a good life by any definition. It looks like you been at this about two years so you have a different perspective, which I appreciate.
Day 10 - more bullsh1t with the wife, trying to rebuild our marriage. Previously, this stress would send me right to PMO. Today I am just depressed, and not even thinking about seeking escape to PMO.
Hello guys my name is piyush and I am 19 years old I am on day 5 seman retaintion journey or nofap Do it together