Day 1 of 90 Well yesterday was a shit day, pretty much just one long fight with my wife. I can not say or do anything right in her eyes any more. Seems everything I say her reply has to do with my online chat room porn, and the women I talked to. Or that I have no clue what she is going thru. I tried to offer her some advice on getting thru this and she turned it on me, saying I did not want her to think of all of this because it would make it easier on me, WRONG! She is tearing herself apart by revisiting the stuff she found of mine. She asked what I did all day I told her, she called me a liar, because I did not tell her about a stop at Lowes to pick up framing nails for a job. She says there are hookers in that town, I never knew that because I do not look for them, and never have, she thought I stopped for a BJ. She tells me that 6 or 7 weeks is not enough time to tell if I will go back to that life that I can not be recovered that fast, yet when she says she is having a had time with all of this, and I tell her it has only been 6 or 7 weeks it will take time to heal, that time thing does not work, funny! As for me staying strong in my recovery, I will never go back to that life, what a waste of time and money. Well off to work did not get a lot done yesterday things beyond my control, "messed up job order from the supplied, and a hour+ phone call from my wife had to sit in my truck for that" need to finish up the job and start the weekend. *55 days free
Well relapsed yesterday.I had urges and at first i edged and then i relapsed.Well fuck it lets start over again Day 1: Nothing to report here just a little bit regretful about the relapse but other than that nothing else.I am going to try my best to keep strong and finish the 90 day streak.But i will take it step by step
It's happened to all of us at one point or another and at least for myself has ended up giving me some of the most important lessons, keep at it
Here I am checking in. Another day free, that makes 62. I used to believe that high numbers gave confidence. Confidence is built in time and not on a number.
Day 1/90. Whenever I felt to go for videos, I could hear an alarm sound from back of the mind. Saying 'You are on reboot'.
