Day 7 I came close to relapsing yesterday. I even typed something in, but did not look at pics or videos.
Lust must be rooted out at the level of the heart's desire and the mind's thought. Defeat it *before* you do so much as move a single finger muscle to type something out, and you will be well on your way.
I'm back to Day 1... I've had really high anxiety the past few days. Plus, I got off track with my Bible reading, prayer, and the 40 day Covenant Eyes challenge. All that culminated in me failing.
I must confess that I'm back to Day 1. I have get out of this rut I'm in. Work didn't help any today by being extra hard.
Hi I've been meaning to look at this journal for a while and finally got round to it. Remember that no matter what, by wanting to overcome this you are so much further along the journey than those who don't even admit they have a problem. Various bits of advice from me: Pray that God changes your heart. It is our hearts that defile us (Isaiah. 29:13, Jer. 17:9). We stumble because deep down, our hearts aren't 100% in it. My heart doesn't want me to give up PMO. But God does. We need hearts like God's and only he can complete that transformation within us (Deut 30:6, 1 Kings 8:57).You asked in an earlier post about how to deal with withdrawal. My advice is to try mindfulness meditation. Admittedly it's not for everyone, and it can take many forms, but it falls own to training your mind to be anchored in the present, and to observe rather than influence. With respect to PMO withdrawal, focus on the physical sensations as an observer but do not try to will them away (do your best to ignore unhelpful thoughts though). Accept the physical symptoms are there and that they will leave in their own time. Trying to 'fight' them releases adrenaline, which stressed us out and makes us weaker to our urges. Try to describe the symptoms to yourself in as much detail as possible, and try to picture them as isolated from why they are there in the first place. Praying for you, brother. Keep on keeping on.
12 James 1:12 (knox) "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation; for when he hath been proved, he shall receive the crown of life, which God hath promised to them that love him."
You're not alone, Andy... I too have backslidden TERRIBLY. A week straight of PSUBS & excessive M. Technically, I haven't visited a porn site in 39 days, but I feel like I'm worse off than ever. At least when I was looking at porn, these were women who got PAID for it. Now I find myself looking at women who I shouldn't be looking at... Battling against lust feels almost impossible. It's like I'm trying to climb up a downward escalator. At best, I get nowhere. And if I stumble once, I'm taken on a backwards journey at a furious pace. Thoughts of abandoning this struggle against lust often attack me...
The fight for freedom may be the most difficult one we ever wage. It is worth it. Don't give up. Real life awaits just ahead if we do not go back into the pit!
Back to Day 1 again At the moment, I've grown tired of fighting. I'm exhausted from work and trying to overcome this.
It's understandable; exhaustion and stress have led me to reset on many times and are still among the times I'm most tempted. You aren't alone. It's good that you've recognised the cause - you may find that you can be more alert to the risk of temptation when you expect to be tired. Keep on keeping on!
It is very hard. God knows this. He is patient and gracious while we learn and grow. May we grow in trust of him to help us in every situation and learn to lean on his strength and understanding instead of our own.
Going to start this back up AGAIN. Tonight, I failed and did one of the worst sessions I've ever done. I've confessed it to God and I've taken additional steps. I've uninstalled two apps on my phone, the biggest enablers by far. I also turned off something on my internet browser that was an enabler (wish I could uninstall it, but it's not an option). I told a friend that we can't talk sexually anymore. Day 1
You might find direct daily check-ins with an AP or three helpful. I know the practice has been helpful for me.