Day 5!! Feeling a shade better today, definitely not great but an improvement. Some mild urges today, but I was pretty good at identifying and dealing with them relatively quickly - room for improvement though. I had a real urge for the first time this streak last night. Kind of glad to have proper urges again in a weird way, I think it's a sign I'm beginning to recover and return to homeostasis (even if my sexual homeostasis is totally fucked up, I can't improve it if it's being totally surpressed). Either way, this is the largest streak I've had all lockdown! It's nowhere near as impressive as my all time-best to be sure, but under these unprecedented conditions it's harder to stay sober but I think I'm finally learning how. It's not all about streak though! I have to remember that. It's about taking recovery one day at a time, whether I'm one day clean or one thousand.
Day 16 It has been such a borinnnnnngggg day today. Plus, I'm tired. Another plus: I've been bored. The urges have been SOOOOOO strong today, I can't believe I made it through. It made me think of the scene where Spoiler: Naruto Shippuden spoiler Jiraiya was about to die. I created a gif that really represents the situation well.
Checking in on day 111. On Nelson so needs to be extra careful today. This is going to be another very busy week.
you got to change your behaviour bro. change your life, surviving is not the same has overcoming. You got to improve your life right now, if you continue the path of boredom you´re gonna relapse.
well, in these days staying at home is a problem for most people. the solution is to stay busy even at home. get occupied brother. i´ve been at home for 4 weeks now and i almost don´t feel a moment of boredom. why? because i´m always occupied, not stressed, occupied! doing this, then doing that and so on... do things that you like brother, let it flow. when you feel yourself forcing an activity just change it, and the flow will go on. and yes, sometimes, you might have to do things that you don´t like, like studying, but if you flow in all the other activities you´ll see that you´ll have more patience and energy to deal even with those disconfortable activities. remember: boredom = relapse. it´s up to you to change your life.
That's the topic that I'm going to be going over today (relapsing). But I have a reason around it (and it's not boredom).
Day 17 (Very early post today. Also, the strikethrough might be true, or it may not be true, based on y'alls opinions.) Don't worry, I'm not very mad at myself like the day 84 time. Last night, I went to bed at around 12:40 am. The last two nights, I went to bed at around 3:40 am. I was just having fun with some friends those days (or to be specific, two friends one day, I think, and one friend the other day). It was taking me SOOOO long to get to sleep, my GOSH. You know, I'm telling myself, 'I need to find a way to get to sleep because I need to be able to focus on my schoolwork in the morning and afternoon.' So, I'm sorry to say, but I relapsed (with my pants on) without touching my dick. (How I did that was simple: Like making my arm move, I made my dick move. I looked up an Instagram post that was, well, you know, duh! lol, hot). Note also that I had tried other various methods that didn't break my rule system so much. The Instagram post broke the rules even more, but I had a reason. (Also, I do know that I am creating excuses, but look yo, I NEEDED some sleep. I needed to be able to focus for school.) I tried relapsing by using my imagination with my eyes closed. I was debating whether to accept the urges because of this mandatory sleep, or if I should just stay up all night (which is something I didn't want to do). I feel bad that I broke the rules, but I felt (during the time) that that was necessary. Look yo, put your shoes in my situation. If you are the kind of guy who makes good grades and has morals to get his schoolwork done, and if you couldn't sleep because your dick was so hard, then what would you do: 1. Stay up all night and feel tired when you're trying to do your schoolwork. 2. Ejaculate so you can go to sleep. I choose option 2. What option would y'all choose? If you chose option 1, then do you think I should reset my counter? I would understand why. I broke the rules, after all. But then again, I NEEDED the sleep. To conclude, what do you guys think? Would you choose option 1, or option 2? Do you have another option that you would rather choose? If you chose option 1, then do you think I should reset my counter? If so, why? If not, why not? I have a really good feeling that this is going to be a heated debate, but I really want to hear y'alls advice.