This is absolutely true for me too. For me it's not so much focused on looks per se, but just as a human being I have a very low opinion of myself. I'm doing a lot of work to change that, but it crept up today again and that led me to relapse. It's time for the both of us to stop listening to that bullshit that we tell ourselves. You're beautiful and awesome. And so am I. And the world needs our beauty and awesomeness and we're assholes if we keep depriving the world of it.
I am at the exact same place as you buddy and also started attempting this challenge in 2014. Hope we all find the break through mentality we need to finally beat this addiction. Good luck friends.
That goes ditto for me. I have been haunted by deep feelings of insecurity and inadequacy about myself for most of my life especially in sports, women, academics etc. It is all lies I tell myself but why I still do it at 57 is beyond my understanding. I am handsome, smart, funny and well educated so why am I hard on myself and escaping into the dark side of porn addiction for 45 years? I think it has been a perpetual cycle of self destruction, I PMO, women sense inferiority from it, are not attracted, so I wank some more to escape those feelings, I fail with women and so the cycle repeats. I probably turn women off of me by giving off pharmones which say I am a weak guy and a looser around women. They smell it instinctively I think. It may also have something to do with my mother who always said when I was a child you'll never get a girlfriend if you don't improve your manners. Can't blame her though at 57 but deep seated beliefs like that may be part of the problem. Good luck changing and saving yourselves brothers. We theneed to take the high road of sobriety and not the low road of escapsim into the PMO pit of dispair.
Day 3/30 No PM (June) Day 496 at attempting this challenge Day 176 weigh training (M, W, F) Lifestyle: No caffeine or alcohol and reduced desserts
Day 3/90 Total clean days - 12 Total relapsed - 2 Total hours remaining - 2088 I had a wet dream at morning. There were some minor urges. But I refuse to look at porn or to do relapse. I know the last step now don't look at it or search for it. Final piece to the puzzle.
Hang in there man, I find it most helpful when I just focus on today, just get through today, just today.
12 days no pmo. Need to really focus on just today, just the here and now, divert attention when porn thoughts come, remind myself it’s just memory, not real, not helpful, not good for me. Hang in there everyone
@Timothy_James @Merry Terry guys I feel for you, sorry that you are experiencing this despair caused by falling off the wagon.. especially as I understand you've both been trying to quit PMO quite some time. I too started trying to quit PMO in 2014 (what is it about 2014?) but it's been more of an "on and off thing" for me rather than a constant struggle. There were long periods of time where I didn't really try to quit PMO because I didn't really care. I've only recently been fully awakened to the extent of harm that PMO has caused me. But enough about me, I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and think of some useful advice. Can I ask: how familiar are you with Mark Queppet's work? I don't want to sound like an advertisement or something but his Reforged Man course has up until now been very helpful in changing my mindset around PMO, which makes it easier to resist the urges. Sorry if this is all old news to you.. but if it's not, I think it's worth taking a look at. In any case, I hope both of you find the strength to get on the horse again! And as others have commented, relapsing may feel like a huge setback but it is infinitely better than not having tried at all! Just remember the days you managed to go without PMO, they are worth something even if you broke your streak. Stay strong brothers!!
Day 43! I feel so much better today with almost no headache. I did a morning run for 50 mins and limited my phone and screen time to 2 hours.
