I slipped. Midweek is tough for me. Being alone upstairs is tough for me. After exercise I shouldn’t be alone upstairs. That exercise energy really tempts me.
I understand you perfectly, for me they are also very fought days. But we are going to get ahead and all this mess will be behind us!
It is better to be in the game trying than outside losing. Focusing on progress I do keep getting better at realizing my triggers again and being mindful of them.
feeling good overall, contemplating sex and relationships, I feel like I am opening myself to being with women in a new way. I noticed when I meet a girl i like I keep thinking, if she is the one or if i like this and that, instead of just BEING with her without agenda. The message I am getting is to LOVE all equally and allow it to evolve without agenda, and desire to get, instead be present and share my joy in different ways. The temptation for smoking arises again, right when I feel healthy and energized, the temptation to smoke comes, which is really interesting since porn is now replaced with another temptation like smoking to get pleasure instead of being. But overall it is very mild since I have consciously experienced how smoking crashes my energy in a few days and gives me a head ache. Thankful to be able to notice the subtle pains of the body which enables me to not desire it.
Day 51. It is amazing how quick time goes by. The last week has been great. I have been working on my business and am seeing sales improve. The urge for P comes by just every once in a while but the temptation fades quicker. God has really done a work in my life. I haven't mentioned this since I have been on here but I was a bodybuilder back in the day. I quit around 2012. I just didn't have the energy and motivation. Looking back, that is when PMO really started getting bad for me. Anyway, I have energy now that I didn't think was possible to have. I think I will start back in the coming days and do a workout log in the "Fitness" section if anyone wants to follow along.
Checking in on day 23 of my journey. Previous week been hard on me, with several sexual dreams especially in early mornings. But I constantly keep reading rebooting material on this forum, never look at P and try to get plenty of exercise (which is helping).
I'm checking in here. I'm on day 12 of no P. The last few days have been eventful and I've almost forgot about this problem with P. I need to be on guard. I'm trying a different approach and allowing for MO to see if I can get further with that. It has been minimal. I'm just brainstorming but I'm thinking I need to see if I can separate P from MO. I mean by not looking at P at all. This has never really worked for me but I feel it's worth trying now because I wasn't going to the gym before and I probably didn't have other healthy sources of dopamine before. I feel completely fine now, with no urges for P or MO for the last few days. But I just watched some anti-P material and I'm glad I did. It makes me remember how much of a problem this is and has been for me and I'm feeling this gut feeling that it isn't over and I need to really pay attention and I need to really make this work somehow.
Hi! The rank on post #1 is up-to-date. Congrats to @Ogawavin , @MountainCross90 , @Grimace8777 & @AussieDC !!
Thanks, longest I have ever gone. It feels good. Have had urges throughout, but you learn how to change your thinking! I am so glad I haven't used!
Checking in, day 38 for me. For some reason, the urges start to resurface again after 2 weeks of calm and nothingness. Still pushing myself to go forward with this. Almost on halfway mark...
Checking in, going day 43 at the moment. For some reason because my initial goal of no PMO is 45 days... the urges to do things gets really really strong. Wonder what should i do after 45 days... definitely continuing on no P.
Today is Day 60 for me with no PMO. To tell you I am excited about this milestone is a understatement. I am very thankful to God and for all of you here. You have all been a very important part of this journey! Looking forward to 90!
What happened? I have almost one week clean. Reading about wives struggling with living with addicts has helped motivate me this week. I see how much silent damage I’m causing my wife and marriage. My wife isn’t perfect, but her heart and soul are damn near perfect and she loves so fully, the thought of breaking her heart through infidelity or having her one day regret being married to me because my addiction robbed her of her sexuality in our marriage. She doesn’t deserve that.
thanks a lot! i actually decided to reset back to day 1 now. Wanted to know if physically 45 days of no PMO made things better. Regarding death grip, its way way way more sensitive and I’m truly happy about this. Regarding PIED, hard to really check without a partner, but doing it without P is still a bit tough for me to maintain erection. But i can definitely see progress. But I’m also really happy i managed to try it without using P (wasnt even tempted to) now since I’m no longer curious, i won’t set a goal (45-90 days etc) and will just let things flow naturally with my partner but will still go with no PM