What is life like to NOT be addicted to porn, in other words what is life like after not having an addiction anymore? Does your perspective change?
Think of it as alcoholism; Even if you use it alot, doesnt mean youre addicted. But when it gets compulsive, when you start doing it against your will, thats when you are addicted IMO. I think I am slightly addicted, but I havent watched P for like 13 days now, it feels good
open and proud of your life and how you spend your free time, not ashamed of the hours you have lost. A free and committed relationship with another person, or the potential to form one without shameful issues coming between you. The ability to think clearly and make decisions without the brainfog of PMo. Abundant energy to put into whatever you choose in life, workout like a champ, study like a genius, do business like a billionaire, whatever you choose!
It seems there are two distinct things: - the addiction - being controlled by the addiction In most cases the addiction never goes away. You can get control of your life back from the addiction, but the addiction is always there in the shadows ready to pounce if you are careless.
You know how it feels, think about a day when you never thought about sex or anything sexual. It just disappears, there is nothing amazing or special about it.
I'd say it's a life changer. You have to deal with so much mental shit before you break free, that you become completely different person. You deal with your past, change the way you look at things, start to like yourself the way you are and most importantly adopt lots of new healthy habits that ease your life in the present moment. Abstention teaches you to accept discomfort/pain, determination, discipline and perseverance. I used to be lazy, depressed/anxious person with non existing self-worth and self-esteem blaming all but myself. 9 months of abstinence later I can't recognize myself anymore. I'm still work in progress and I need to improve on sooo many areas of life, but the important thing is I'm no longer stuck in the moment, regressing and moving nowhere.
Such a great topic and I really relate to some of what's been said. In particular I am totally convinced that there are two things one that lasts forever and another that is one day at a time: the addiction and being controlled by it are definitely two things. No solution for the former, days that I don't want to be a pa I'm adding with reality I lose that argument 100% of the time. Definitely a solution for the latter, at least I've been living it for 2398 24-hour periods in a row. I can't stop pm+ and yet haven't had to do so, a wonderful paradox. Goodness knows I hate when people contradict themselves as much as the next person but here's a win win why look such a gift in the mouth. I did, I hated paradoxes because I thought I was a logical guy. I was, it's just that my logic was flawed and if you apply flawed logic ad nauseum you can get to some pretty interesting places. Oh but as for what it's like, it's indescribable. The best way I've ever known to put words on it is that I have often felt happier to be free of pm+ than I did on my wedding day or watching my daughter learn to walk. On those days obsession and deviant thinking, even if it wasn't about selfishness around sex, dampened my ability to experience positive things in life. And I certainly don't mean to be all Pollyanna, I also feel a lot of anger sadness fear. I'm glad to have solutions to those because they are part of a full life, there's really nothing wrong with them depending on my attitude and actions. I could go on for hours if anyone wants to hear more pm me and I'll happily give you my phone number, freedom from pm+ is my favorite topic bar none.
Thanks for sharing this. I am on day 1. I am really addicted to internet porn. My addiction has come and gone in phases. It seems every phase seems to get deeper and deeper. I guess I call them relapse's... I just do something different or "less" damaging in my mind. They say it it is progressive... I see how.
The main thing for me has just been how much better my personal relationships have gotten in all aspects of my life, with my gf, friends, coworkers. Imagine the feeling of when you start drinking on a night out and that first effect where you're not drunk yet but starting to get more energized, happy and chatty, that's what life without porn is like