Hi everyone, I’ve now abstained from PMO for more than 90 consecutive days. This is on my third attempt (1st attempt – 23 days, 2nd attempt – 30 days). I didn’t think I could achieve this, but I have. Given that I’m no superhuman you can achieve this milestone, too. The aspects listed below helped me reach this milestone and may help you as well. Willpower. The first 30 days were by far the most difficult for me. I had to resist my temptations on a daily basis and stay focused on my goal (which back then was only 30 days). If you don’t have willpower and discipline then you will fail. Sadly there’s no way around this. When you face temptation think about the goal you want to achieve, the shame of failure (some of you will disagree with me on this, but it helped me), and remember that it’s so much harder to start from day one again than it is to continue from day 10, 20, 30 etc. Active lifestyle. Having an engaging full-time job, going to the gym multiple times a week (with clear fitness goals to work towards), running household errands, writing and performing poetry, meeting with friends and going dancing has kept me occupied and fulfilled. Calorie-controlled diet. I went on my first-ever calorie-controlled diet during this period of PMO abstinence. Any temptation or thought about PMO disappeared during this diet because my body was far more focused on hunger than sex. I lost 8 kg in one month (admittedly I lost muscle as well as fat, but it was a fantastic learning experience) Cutting my media consumption. I stopped reading newspapers, I don’t watch TV anyway, I stopped watching raunchy music videos when listening to my favourite songs on YouTube and reduced my listening to the radio. This reduced my sources of temptation. I only really visit YouTube when browsing the Internet and now focus on watching videos that improve me (e.g. fitness advice, inspirational speeches) or listening to music. I’m currently ‘flatlining’ i.e. not experiencing any sexual attraction to women, and it’s incredibly liberating. I’m free to focus on my goals (fitness, personal/professional development) and I don’t feel the need for a woman in my life or for sexual gratification. My standards in what I want from a woman have increased a lot; most conventionally attractive women I come across don’t meet these. As such I don’t feel a sense of neediness when I’m around such women. I’m now more interested in a woman’s entire identity than just her looks. I don’t feel like a slave to my base urges. I’ve proved to myself that I have the capacity for self-control. I’ve proved to myself that I can achieve goals I didn’t initially think possible. By exhibiting the discipline I have done during this process I’ve elevated myself miles above most of society. Someone else on NoFap said it best when they said “don’t count the days; make the days count.” Focus on the aspects of your life that are important or fulfilling to you. Dance. Sing. Run. Volunteer. Do whatever moves you forward in your life. Another useful quote I saw on NoFap was “every day is day one.” In the initial phase you will face intense temptation repeatedly and will have to resist them repeatedly. Whether you’ve abstained for 9 days or 90 days you’ll have to consciously employ the same techniques to stay on track. Stay vigilant. I plan to continue my PMO abstinence indefinitely. I’ll continue to focus on improving myself because the woman of my dreams wants the best version of me and, regardless of what women want, I want to be the man of my dreams. I recently identified my purpose in life as helping others become the best version of themselves through mentoring and setting a positive example. I'm now in the process of scoping how I can live that out in a more regular and sustained way. If you’re struggling with abstinence and need advice then feel free to send me a private message. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill Andrew
This is encouraging. I'm aiming for 90 days, and hope to emerge after accomplishing this goal a man with more character than I have now. PMO has undermined me, preventing me from becoming the bold and courageous man with character who can approach women without shame and intimidation. I admire you for what you've accomplished.
Well done on reaching 90 days, it's reassuring to hear the positive outcome you've achieved through no PMO. I hope you do become the man of your dreams and better yet keep improving!
Bro i struggled with flatline and always relapse then , could you gimme some pointers, send me a personal message when ya can .... Ty bro found your story incredibly motivating
Congratulations man. Great stuff here. It inspired me to press on toward the goal. I'm on day 36 of 90 and the urges have been strong lately.
This is one of the best one's I've read yet! "I’ve proved to myself that I have the capacity for self-control. I’ve proved to myself that I can achieve goals I didn’t initially think possible." Great inspiration. "I’ll continue to focus on improving myself because the woman of my dreams wants the best version of me and, regardless of what women want, I want to be the man of my dreams." Good way to think, and it's interesting how when we work on ourselves enough we end up attracting other like-minded partners in the process.