new here, partner of an addict

Sorry your going through this. You’ be definitely come to the right place for encouragement and tons of information. You can learn so much from this forum. Just remember throughout your journey to make sure to care for yourself. It’s the most important thing you can do hands down!

My advice is to talk to him about this and how it makes you feel and go from there.

 

Welcome. You're in the right place. Please make taking care of yourself the priority in coming to NoFap, something I have to remind myself to do as well.
Since sex addiction is still a big no-no to talk about, it can be really isolating. I found myself gradually accepting a life shaped by my husband's porn addiction, and not listening to my gut instincts. I think this is one of the most subtle ways porn addiction wounds the SO. Example: My husband would rationalize how little sex we were having by saying a "normal" amount is relative. That can be a true statement, but in this context ignores the pathological impact of porn addiction.

 

Hi starrieeyes,

I am new here, and new to all of this too. About an hour into it, I would say. Although I don't have much experience with this yet (I haven't even broached the subject with my fiance, just discovered this was an addiction) I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. My fiance has also just restarted his need to talk to other women, and I was devastated until I found out this was part of an addiction. I, too, don't know where to start. I am afraid that he will choose his addiction over me. But I also know that I will fight for our relationship.

If you need someone to talk to, I would be happy to talk. Please know that you always have support!

 

As you two are engaged, I would bring the issue up as quickly as possible. It is a long battle, and very hard on both parties. Not every relationship will survive.
It is also hard, as watching porn became such a norm these days that it's easy to get defensive and brush it off by claiming that it's something everyone does, so how can it possibly be such a problem...
It may help for you to educate yourself first, by reading some articles and watching videos recommended here, so that you come into your conversation well prepared. Good luck to you and I'm sorry you have to go through this.