[30-CHALLENGE] THE THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 5/30 done! Night night!

 

Day 15/30

My thoughts are all over the place right now... and I'm extremely on edge... and in a bad mood...

but otherwise I'm doing great!

 

Day 13/30

 

Day 7, one week!

 

Day 3 of Hard Mode

 

Really tough day today, both regarding productivity and urges. I made myself do some work finally though and I beat the urges. 16/30 done and soon 17 will be in the bag!!

 

Day 3 down. Hope everyone is having success.

 

Relapsed. Day 0.
But charging ...
0 days, 9 hours, 39 minutes Alive!

 

Day 0 - Relapsed
I'm sorry guys, this is disappointing... I don't know why urges are winning so easily during these days, but I promise I will stop them from now on. Maybe there is a part of me that is tired because of the University and just wants some relief in PMO, but at the same time I want to change and experience true love. @FelixtheOcean I hope I will be ready, I don't want to disappoint her. Thanks.

 

Day 3/30 Done

 

Relapsed :-( back at day 1.

 

First time post entry on this site but know about for a few years, still battling this "thing" and can't believe I've relapsed again. When am I gonna learn...back to the start it is.

 

Day 10/30

Not to bad. Today I came back home after a few days on holidays. Almost 6 hours by car and time enough to think and talk about different things with my bf. And, at the same time, to realize how could I got this adiction to PMO. I think the main reason was that I first learnt to hate myself than love myself. How I was bullyied in the school when I was a kid, the way I felt alone and sad and not a real man (even just being a 9 y/o kid). How I started to have problems with my skin at that age as I felt an ugly child. And today I thought that probably this is because all the hate I put over my shoulders, thinking that I never was enough, as my school mates told me everyday. I eased this pain when I became a teenager and I discovered masturbation through bed humping and a couple of years after, pornography. I felt that I wasn't man enough as the guys on those films, but I could have the fantasy of being a part of that moment just watching it. I was growing up and I was able to ejaculate. "Not to bad!", I thought. But it was a tramp. From that very moment I only could reach an orgasm through bed humping, and not using my hand. Now, I'm 35 y/o and I have never reached an orgasm during sex. I can experience it just with masturbation, but not with other person or even using my hand. This is frustrating. I have sex but I cannot ejaculate. I need to estimulate myself to get it. I hope I can change how my body works. I think that I need certain arousal in my brain to do it and Rebooting is the only way.

 

7/30

 

Day 26!

 

Day 6 No PMO

 

4/30

 

Day 6 ok:
I wonder if this addiction can really go away once and for all or if I'll have to fight all my life, hmmm...
Anyway, it gets easier to fight it day after day at least. I am a bit afraid that it is sleeping and one day I fall back.

 

Day 0/30 I'm up for the challenge

 

Day 9/30