Today 9/14. One to get 10 day off. I share with you today a phrase I heard on a podcast that they were talking about how to go from ideas ("think chingonas things" as a soccer player from my country said) to work and make dreams, fantasies and ideas begin to materialize, the phrase he said "we love our current status, our comfort zone so much, that moving to something new and maybe unknown makes us afraid, doubts and in the end we let the opportunity pass, at last dreaming does not cost anything". I was thinking about this phrase and its relationship with my addiction and I thought: "will not it be that I love my addiction so much that I'm afraid of what might come if I do not have it?" Have you been with me for 30 years, how will life be without her? And that led me to think a little bit more: "Hey Pal, you do not want to continue masturbating or watching porn, you want a sex life like you've never had it, that integrates you as a person, that makes you part of the world , then that's how life will be without addiction, because that means you do not have an addiction, that's why you want to stop addiction "; I understand that I have already identified the reason and why to leave the addiction, then the work is not in vain; In these 8 (almost 9) days that I decided to start my reboot, I stopped dreaming to start living my new life. I send a big hug to everyone,
12/14 Very emotional day. Lots is surfacing. Sadness and shame that used to drive me to escape with PMO. Today I sat in the feelings. Cried a few times. Worked through it. Won’t be the end of the hard feelings, but today was a battle won. Taking them as they come. Need to make sure I’m eating enough protein and not too many carbs. Insulin spikes seem to drag my emotional state down. Something I wouldn’t have noticed in my PMO days. I appreciate you all. Stay strong. Stay focused. Stay connected.
12/14. Life just feels so much better right now. I’m more positive. I feel more creative in my art. My summer job is going well. I feel so much more attracted to my girlfriend. That was the one thing I hated most about my PM problems. It messed up my ability to appreciate my girlfriend. I really love her. I always have it just feels stronger now
Day 6,no stopping no going back.When the urges tried to come,I reminded myself of how terrible I felt after the times I masturbated.I deleted my IG as soon as I noticed it was trying to spike my urges.NO GOING BACK!