Day 87 of 90. Rough day yesterday. Got some bad news from a good friend that they were diagnosed with cancer. I wasn't the same after i heard the news. Didn't run to born to help me get thru it. I prayed for him and myself to see us both thru what we are dealing with.
Day 19 / 90 yesterday was a really good day! Got to sleep early like i hoped. Did some morning spiritual readings and meditation for 10 minutes to start my day. Got in touch with soms friends of mine and talked about life. Trying to stay connected. I found this link and it seems to describe me very well. Maybe everyone is not ready to hear this or it is not the case for everyone but this really really was a “gut shot” https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex/...d-addiction/?li_source=LI&li_medium=popular17 “ Like other addicts, sex addicts use sexual fantasies and experiences to avoid emotional stressors, life challenges, and the pain of underlying psychological disorders such as depression, anxiety, attachment deficits, unresolved early-life trauma, etc. Rather than seeking to feel better, sex addicts want to be distracted from their feelings. In other words, they seek emotional control over the unpredictable experiences that life brings us. When times get tough, sex addicts (and addicts in general) ****seek to disconnect.**** Instead of reaching out to others for support, they go for the quick fix that involves only them and their need/desire for control over what they feel.” I starred the part that jarred me. Very insightful and completely true for me. My very next question is WHY? Why do i seek to disconnect from my feelings? This is a question I must pursue.
Day 1: Decided to go for a 4 mile run (First time running in months) and took my first-ever cold shower - Feels great to use my energy more productively!
Day 2 complete. Went for a jog last night and feeling much better. I just better not forget the pain of the addiction
