37 days is amazing. Today I had a brief anger outburst. Frustration for me almost always leads to intense anger- my coverall emotion. After the brief blowup I did some pranayama i.e. controlled breathing for about 15 minutes to restore my balance. It was uncomfortable sitting thru it but " you have to feel in order to heal". And I truly want to heal. And am healing one day at a time.
I know this soo well not wanting to start there and I feel I don’t deserve this as I achieved this...but at the end this 0 is a even better clearer zero for me
XVI/XXXVIII. Moving onwards with enthusiasm. I will soon beat my previous record of no PMO, and tecnically, this has been the longest streak without Porn, 38 days.
7/365 I am out of my first 7 day cycle of i Rita Ott and can start feeling myself again. This is good. I know already next challenges. Day 9-13 i will have a lot of temptation in my mind and my mind will easily go there to desire dwelling. It comes from my body as it produced the semen and wants to empty. It used to be 10 days way back. Then it became up to month and then it was gone completely. That’s following monks mode. Now since I am in it again and my times to PMO came down a lot!! it’s within the 9-13 days. I overcame this a few times so I will hold on to this and be prepared and determined to get through this barrier. It’s amazing how the mind can trick how tempting he can make things and how attractive rubbish can appear. I will be alert and ready.
Ninth day without pmo. I am doing a list updating every day about why I don't want pmo: day 1) I want to recover passion in my life; day 2) I want harmony with other people; day 3) I want to listen to my emotions; day 4) I want to recover self esteem; day 5) I want to love myself; day 6) I want to appreciate the little things of life; day 7) I want to appreciate quotidianty; day 8) I want to live my pulses; day 9) I want to enjoy also bad moments.
Thanks! I really appreciate your suggestion and personal experience. I will put your suggestion into practice and see what the outcome will be the next time I have the same emotional sequence. I know for sure it will be extremely uncomfortable and the need to escape might arise. At the moment, though, my emotions have leveled out and I had a great day.