Thanks. I feel like I learned an important lesson about my responsibility in dealing with sexually arousing incidents. These incidents are going to occur from time to time throughout life. Some of them have an intense initial impact. I am resilient and even the most intense will fade off on their own quickly unless I keep them alive by repeatedly reviewing the images in my mind and using them to create porn videos in my head. When you have an experience, you store images about it in your mind (also called memories). If it is sexually appealing, and you flood your mind with the images, you are going to inflame your sexual urges. This is what I've been doing with sexually stimulating events, pretty unconsciously until now. Since this recent event, I've become very aware of it and how easy it is to turn it off. I think this is going to have a big impact on my life.
Thanks. I haven't felt any discouragement at all over this relapse. I learned something that can change things for the better and if it took a stumble to get there, it was worth it.
So its just 30 days from breaking your record. You will be there in no time! Meditation is very important but requires so much practice and patience as our minds need to be trained to cultivate mindfulness. Our minds vacillate between the present and future without staying still enough in the present . I read that meditation helps in strengthening the prefrontal cortex which has been damaged by chronic porn use. A damaged prefrontal cortex can translate to decreased willpower, stress and depression. So it is a good idea to stick with meditation. For me too, meditation has been a real challenge. I can't say that I meditate every single day and that I can rival a monk..he he. It's great to see that you are soldiering on! It gives me motivation too.
Day 34- So I decided to join a friend who invited me to play a game of soccer this weekend and I must say I had a lot of fun. It was a mixed game including men and women. I met some very interesting people and I am glad to have made new friends. I have decided that my Saturday afternoons from now on will involve playing soccer and hanging out with other people instead of staying home.
Thank you for the encouragement. I notice when I'm with my friends for some time then I spend some time without them, it gets much harder. Maybe because I let my guard down when I'm with them, but when I am by myself my guard is still down.
Best of encouragement and luck to you. I always enjoy reading your posts as you are very supportive to I and others on this forums, and a true inspiration.