Day 37. Struggeling like shit right now. Too much going on in my life. But Doing it hard mode and still making it.
58/90 wow i really feel nice today, i just want to send a huge hug to everyone here. please never ever treat you bad or tell yourself bad things... no mather what happened or see. yesterday i had a really nice therapy and just realise i felt really bad things about me and i have this mean conception about me, misunderstood all the time since was a child. i can do something better with this sexual energy. no guilty - always treat yourself in the best way, no matter what...treat yourself like you were your best friend.
Day 12 of no PM Day 81 of no alcohol or caffeine Day 49 of weight training - the day started out fantastic with a great nights sleep - no getting up to pee in the night either - triggered myself accidentally at noon by looking up the word mulata as I wanted to know what I was singing in English when singing Santana's Oye Como Va in my band - when I Googled it, it said half black/half white women with some pics showing examples - of course being the curious fapstraunaut I am, I clicked on images to see more of what it was all about - lots of mixed erotica showed up - after a moment (10 seconds I'd say) of basking in an accidental dopamine rush, I closed the tab as I knew the longer I looked, the harder it would be to not relapse - I didn't consider this a relapse since it was accidental, only for a few seconds, and didn't touch myself either to what I saw - close call but am happy I am showing improved self-restraint to not look any further especially when I am home alone all day and easily could - that's a win with my history books of not caving to the temptations after being triggered
52/90 Today I just realised that the main reason of my relapses was, that when I reach a long streak I forgot why did I started the whole thing. So I think it's useful to remind ourself time to time to our motivations, why we need to fight this. I counted a few: -because I know it's a sin, and I don't want to work against God by destructing myself -because I want to battle my anxiety, and one of the main reason of my anxiety is my low self-estem, which comes because I can't handle this addiction, and my brain is too satisfied for me to step out of my confort zone, and upgrade myself -because I want to have a wife one day, and I will can't love her with my whole heart if I watch her as a sextool. Come on guys, we have to do this until the end
It's definitely different feeling bro. I'm deeply feeling more motivated and optimistic in my life. I always create motivation for myself, which means 30 challenges 60 challenges 90 challenges and so on. It makes me to keep going and conquer any obstacles. I hope you have an awesome day.