35 and older accountability, Group 2

hey bro thank you for sharing - totally relate to this -

Suggestion is...

When i feel this way I normally realize that I need to give my body more rest and rejuvination.

When i get angry and frustrated it usually is a good sign that I am not getting enough sleep, or not having enough rest and recovery time.

Also it is worthy to remember that sleep rests the body but relaxation rests our other bodies - which are not visible to our eyes.

What helps me to rest is to get extra sleep, go to a yoga class and avoid my phone for 2-3 days if possible -

Some times we think we are resting but we are actually distracting ourselvs with social media - so make sure when your resting your actually resting, when your sleeping your actuall sleeping, when your working your working.

Many times we are doing onet hing but thinking of another - this creates suffering and waste of energy.

Lastly, I say that keep in mind two points that I think can help you

I come to realize at this point of my spiritual journey that no matter what any one does to me or says to me - if i get upset this is my problem - it is NEVER the other persons problem - It is me who is reacting because I am not conscious and present.

The second thing I learned is that I am not perfect and even though i know the first point, I will at times lose it and react and yell and blame and forget that it is ALL my own creations and I am responsible.

So as i give my power away and become a little kid - forgive myself after the storm passed and then I own up to my shit - and go back to those I have harmed and take ownership for my breakdown and communicate what happened.

I learned this through the AA work, they have a saying that says "When we were wrong, we promptly admitted it"

There is something so beautiful about this- knowing that i am not perfect but as soon as I humanly come to my senses I am WILLING and HUMBLE enough to ask for forgiveness when i fuck up.

In my experience every time i do this, something wonderful happens.

 

D116. I am dealing quite well with thoughts. While I am still watchful, already he passed the worst of temptation I felt a week ago.

I hope everyone here is fine! May this year we can keep ourselves clean of mind, body and soul. God bless you all.

 

Yesterday I’m feeling lots of resentment to the things that happened over weekend. Also feeling prone to fantasy and objectification. Today I’m going to do some 4th step (Saa) work to help lessen or remove those resentments.

 

I didn't sleep well last night. I have been finding it difficult to concentrate today. I'm feeling the urge to escape. I've been reading posts here and find them very encouraging. Thank you all for your support.

 

Update -

I had an encounter with really attractive women today -

She was very exotic looking and was interested and I knew it is coming from a sense of lust and i noticed how lust takes away the peace of mind.

Remembered the words of the buddha that whenever you find lust uproot it in wisdom immediately.

And i then noticed the tension in my body and my breath, did some prayers and reminding myself that seeking pleasure is just seeking pain in disguise, and i went back to feeling peacefully tranquil.

I am now reminding myself being peaceful and tranquil is the goal - not excitement of the false sense of pleasure which is only the back of the same coin namely; suffering.

Hey I am doing step 4 today too- I find doing step 4 every day or every month or every year helps so much

I have listed 5-6 people and i'm making videos to ask for amens.

It feels really hard to do - my mind doest want to deal with it or feels like escaping it but i'm so glad that my perspective is wide enough o see the value in this work,

Great job for doing this too - happy we are doing this together

 

hey bro - i have some days like that - something that helps me

1. I know the sleepiness is a phase and it will pass and i tell myself i am okay - this helps - instead of thinking like a victim

2. If i feel really crappy i quickly take a break, in my car even, close eyes and take a power nap - sometimes i don't even sleep just close eyes within 10-15-20min (however much i can) i recharge my body and remain aware of my breath - this calms my mind

the first few min is hard but then i feel relaly good - i set a timer and sometimes have coffee after the sleep but no more coffee past 3pm

3. Also the food is key - eating light helps sleep at night - also keeping carbs below 70g more like 40g is a good way to ensure you dont get drowsey

you got this man keep going

 

D117. I just resumed my old passion (watch movies at the cinema) on my vacation this month ... in case of any bad indication (bad thoughts), I suspend again

 

Thanks so much!

 

Thank you for inviting me to the accountability group.

A little about me. I am in my early 60s but won't retire until 70 because of many financial fuck-ups (around which my avoidance is centered). I have a goal to learn stock futures training and have started but PMO is getting in the way, as I will waste many hours on PMO, primarily in sex chat rooms, when I should be studying.

I was always able to keep the PMO issue at bay until I got internet access in the mid-90s. It's been hell ever since. I desperately need to stop. I did a 12 Step program about 12 years ago that was effective for a while but I never dealt with the stressors that sent me into porn for escape. I know I have no hope of dealing with the issues that I let push me into porn and sex chat rooms unless I have dealt with PMO as the escape vehicle.
Today is my first full day 1 of the 90 day challenge. I am so looking forward to being engaged in the forums to beat this monster and rewire my brain away from the dopamine and other brain chemical rush that PMO provides.

It's now been 8 days since my last PMO session. I should be good until this time next week when I on the road. I will check in daily so if you don't see any posts by me send me a shout!

 

@IveBetterThingsToDo welcome to the group and congratulations on your first full day toward the 90-day challenge! And I wish you success on your stock futures training.

 

Welcome to the group. Good luck on your Journey!

 

Back from Christmas Vacation now. Man I really got some depression going on over the last few weeks. Mainly guilt about acting out some of my fetishes and the fact I can't undo what I did.

However, back on regular exercise and it's done wonders for lifting my spirits. I feel back to 99% normal for now.

Hell of a rollercoaster this PMO quiting game. Lol.

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

I wasn't paying full attention to what I cut and paste from my original newbie post in another forum on NoFap. I am now on day 9 as I started my challenge on Jan. 1 to get 2020 off to the start I need to have a focused and productive year. So far so good. I travel next week so I will really need to be on my game then.

 

I'm just about to start 12-step probably late Jan once I've got a few things out of the way........how has it been / worked for you? Any advice?

 

I'm in my early forties. The last decade has been hell from a cam / chat room perspective and being hooked. Before that not so much......it's my thirties that were consumed. Somehow I managed to keep my job and wife. Created a few health problems around depression, heightened anxiety and acid reflux all of which I think are associated with my addiction. I relapsed three times over the Xmas period which brought me here and so far I've managed to get to a week. I'm going to get some therapy and am looking into the 12-Step program as well as the cost of this addiction is way too high - whether from a relationship, emotional or simply time and potential wasted perspective. So far so good. As soon as an erotic image enters my head I'm trying to program my mind to reject it instantly.....been suffering a bit with insomnia.....but so far keeping the temptation at bay. Taking each successful day as it comes at the moment.