Men - I really need some help right now

Hey man, grad school can be a lonely experience. Just for perspective, working on and defending a thesis can make someone go off the deep end even without PMO! That feeling is normal and legitimate. I can’t analyze your specific situation, if course, but if you’re working on a thesis you’re probably near the end of your degree. Probably makes sense to grin and bear it, finish and get that degree so you have something to show for your misery! But then?.... the world is yours for the taking. You could make a dramatic change if it feels right!

Getting right out of bed in the morning seems key. Gotta start off right!

An accountability partner could be essential for you and could offer both (positive) peer pressure and support. You can make this change! Good luck!

 

A couple of articles I like. I think they really show how no one should look at porn, ever:

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...masturbate-edge-or-watch-porn-without-orgasm/

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/reb...ong-abstinence-with-binges-an-addiction-risk/

 

Few things can drive a person batty more than writing a thesis.
But you will still have a shitload of stuff on your plate even when the thesis stuff is done.
I don't have any final answers for you, but I think you need to prioritize a bit: What is something doable and good you can do today? Where would you like to see yourself in a few months? I don't mean a millionaire or a Mr. Macho. But if you take a bit of time and make some basic priorities you might feel a bit better about yourself. And, coming from experience, people tend to avoid guys who give off this "What's wrong with me?" vibe.
But #1, you need to speak to someone about your dark thoughts. You never have to discuss anything about PMO, at least not until you want to, but unless you speak to an empathetic and professional person you are not going to get anywhere. Sorry, but this is also coming from experience.
Life is worth living and you are not a loser. You are not a weirdo. You are human and you need a helping hand.

 

Hey man, you are certainly not alone! Like the others who have already commented, I also experienced the wonderful hell that is grad school. It’s incredibly easy to fall into an unproductive rut, and feel really shitty about yourself. The connection, I believe, is intelligence. The intelligent mind seems to be more susceptible to things like anxiety and depression. I believe it’s because we can often use logic to convince ourselves of how shitty life is. Our brains never stop, and can become our worst enemies! If you’re still doing counseling, try to stick with it if you can. But also know when to recognize if your counselor doesn’t mesh well with you, because it happens. And the worst thing about having a psychologist who doesn’t work well with you is that it will lead you to blame yourself. Going to counseling feels like you’re doing all you can. So when it’s not working, you’ll end up taking that as “Well shit, guess I’m fucked and can’t be cured.” But different therapists will offer different things. So don’t be afraid to call that shot when you need to. I guarantee your therapist won’t take it personally if you recognize that you need to switch to another. They might actually see it as progress!

I’ll share with you a little bit about MY struggles, if it helps. I have figured out that I’m the type of person who wants answers to everything. I hate unknowns. Further more, I also happen to have a very vivid imagination. So much so that I will mentally insert details into gaps in my knowledge. But I can so vividly see these details that I convince my mind that they are true. After a while, I find myself living in an alternate reality. A “reality” where I believe people hate me, people are cheating on me, people are talking shit behind my back, my advisor hates my thesis project, etc..... It became very important to see that. To give unknowns the credit of being UNKNOWN, and the likelihood that things are not nearly as bad as your brain makes them. I believe this “alternate reality” type of mental state is the root to anxiety and depression. Because you can become so firmly convinced of all these negative things that, in reality, are just unknowns. It’s important to also recognize that there’s no magic words to fix you, and there is no “cure.” It’s a constant journey through life, and you will always have ups and downs. The closest you can get to a “cure” is to learn how to steer through the seas. At times, you will find yourself in a storm. And you might not always steer properly. Because you’re only human. Humans aren’t perfect, so don’t expect yourself to be. But the goal is to be able to steer yourself back into calm waters, without knowing how big the storm actually is. But as long as you know what direction to go, you’ll make progress!

You have intelligent folks here who know your struggles well. You are absolutely not alone!

 

Be true to yourself and others be real say how you feel even if its makes you look like a fool even if it makes you look like an asshole even if it brings conflict be true to yourself always speak the truth and your life will change dramtically. without your truth you are worthless its your god given right to epress yourself and your opinion have your say

Face your truth and live it dont hide from fear live for yourself not for other your not a door matt, fed propagadna since kindergradden that somehow collage is for everyone and less than 1/3 who go to collage actually finish with a degree, told that conflict is bad and wrong, training you to be a sheep and a slave taking away your meaning, live your own way stop living up to other people expectations your a unque individual your true path will always be unqie and you can make eveyone happy so dont try, live for yourself speak your mind make your mark stay true to yourself, how can you live for yourself and satisfy your true wants when your living for other people trying to