Apparently nothing aside from the fact that the private one can't be viewed at all if you are a man (or woman who hasn't requested the rights to view the section? I'm not sure about the specifics of how it works since I obviously can't use it.) Otherwise they are the same. You can post pretty much anything in them that you could in other sections of the forum.
Not at all, and I am sorry if you understood it like this, I am just saying that, in my opinion, you "decided" that since you have this opinion and you're woman then all the women should have this opinion, I am not judging or anything, I just tought that you're letting your personal experience conditionate your toughts. So we are thinking the same thing, still the world is not a perfect place unfortunately, and as you know there's bad people around here, people that are not actively doing their reboot but instead "enjoy" what we write here, so the women section is meant to be a place to make you feel safer, it's something more than the normal site, if you want to use your age section, you're free to do so, but if you want to be sure to know other women you go there, and if a man go there has no right to tell you anything because it is woman section, so he was the one who decided to visit a section meant to women reboot, I just can't go on your journal to write you that is your fault if I got triggered because to read it I should have: -logged in the site -found the women section -clicked on it -found your journal -clicked on it -read it 6 steps in which I could have turned back, so it would be entirely my fault, that's why exist women section in my opinion, to let you share with us because we are all the same, but let know the morons that they have no exscuse to make you feel guilty for what you write, it's about your toughts. I can understand when you're talking about irrational sense of guilt, I changed my profile picture as well, I deleted the real me because I was attracting unrequired attentions, but I don't feel guilty, I just wanted to stop the attentions, and again it's the reason behind the women section, we don't want to segregate you or to make you feel different, we don't want to let morons have an easy way to blame you for something they can't blame anybody but them. I hope I've been clear this time. Simply that in the public only women can start a THREAD, but everybody is welcomed to comment or give likes, as long as they're supportive, in the private only women can ENTER the section, I am man, and in the site I don't even see the section, only a woman can, and if a man tries to create an account with female option, in the moment he's discovered he's banned forever. The private section I think it's meant to all the women that found that man should not comment their posts, if you post there only women will answer.
There is a proverb "whatever you are but firstly you are human"... we should respect other person's opinion... but firstly one thing I didn't like that people keep stereotyping male...if any male is helping or trying to help in her issue then he has some personal nasty interest... some people didn't just stop here and comment with some highly intellectual words... just because some people share their opinion it doesn't mean we should ridicule them... there is nothing good in name and shame... if any women have any issue with men's commenting on their post then she should just block him and report him to moderator... and believe me do you really think someone read "Read this first" before exploring anyone post or journal... I never did that but incase I ended commenting somewhere with my personal experience doesn't mean I have nasty thoughts or I'm desperate for her personal details...I'm on this website since 2014... I have shared my opinion on many women's posts...I never care for rule all I know is helping someone in problem is the priority...if still, people find it wrong it's their opinion... in my opinion, I give them advice... @Joe1023 you are the moderator and you are calling all men morons who are posting there then that include me too...personally I don't agree with your selection of words... just because we are struggling with pmo issue that doesn't give you permission to shame us... if people here who are posting here assume their opinion to be considered then I think men's who post there they also assume that opinion to be considered... and believe me in last 6 year I have visited many post and journal of women I never came across any such post where anyone drop their personal interest or show desperation with personal nasty interest(it don't include their dm, all I'm talking about post publicly visible) and also if any of my reply to their post or journal show that I'm desperate for their personal detail with some nasty personal interest let me know I will leave this website... When I sign-up this website in 2014 it hardly had any women and to my surprise, even those were just few account still they were active and give me hope that this problem is not gender specific...if this problem is not gender specific how can opinion be gender specific... I have always maintained my dignity while posting in women's post I always make sure neither my words let them fail in their journey nor their words make me fail it was just limited to helping...if any women has posted in the top that no male allowed then I always refrained myself from posting there... It is easy to say that men have their own addiction problem and they should focus on that but still helping someone is never bad and we have just shared our opinion and that's too from own experience of dealing with this issue since last 13 years... anyways at the last no more replies in women's section... I will keep myself to my own journal and daily check-in... else may be someday even in men's forum people will start posting "focus on your own problem dude I post here because of my own personal choice not for your opinion"
I appreciate you letting me know you disagree with something I posted. I will never assert my opinion as fact, and I welcome and and all disagreements! However, having said that, I actually did post later (at the top of page 4) an apology to Castielle because I forgot to mention that the men I was talking about posting were men who were going into the women's only section that has since been restricted to only women. Men can't even view that section now. And yes, I think you're absolutely right that posting those comments probably wasn't the best way to word my opinion on the subject, but I just wanted you to know that I posted a correction to that post, I apologized for it, and have since made peace with Castielle. I am not now and I never will be against people honestly trying to help others here in any way they can. I was just posting my frustration about men who are just trying to go view possibly triggerI appreciate you letting me know you disagree with something I posted. I will never assert my opinion as fact, and I welcome any and all disagreements! However, having said that, I actually did post later (at the top of page 4) an apology to Castielle because I forgot to mention that the men I was talking about posting were men who were going into the women's only section that has since been restricted to only women. Men can't even view that section now. And yes, I think you're absolutely right that posting those comments probably wasn't the best way to word my opinion on the subject, but I just wanted you to know that I posted a correction to that post, I apologized for it, and have since made peace with Castielle. I am not now, and I never will be against people honestly trying to help others here in any way they can. I was just posting my frustration about men who are basically acting out by trying to go view possibly triggering posts in a section they are warned not to go to, by women who struggle with sex or porn addiction, and lying about being there by just saying they were there to see if they could help. That was my intended thought but I obviously screwed up the presentation. I’ll definitely be much more careful about wording my frustration in the future though.
I'm a woman and I can't even go in there either, because I don't have my gender specified. I even tried to just change my gender to female and then pop in there to see what it's like, and it didn't work.
Yeah, I know you apologized for misunderstanding me or whatever, but I hope you really mean what you say here. Because you called me a bunch of ridiculous names that were completely uncalled for. You said I was self righteous and incapable of disagreeing civilly, etc, when you know absolutely nothing about me. So... it wasn't just your generalization of men that was the problem there. You don't get to just call someone a bunch of names because you don't like or agree with what they're saying.
I think it's to avoid that someone try to cheat on it. You would have the right to do so, but maybe they're scared of the men that could do that trick. The same old problem, someone pays for the sin of someone else.
Oh yeah, I know. I'm not complaining, I'm just highlighting the fact that it definitely works to keep people out even if their gender isn't specified.
You are right, it wouldn’t be my fault. But it also wouldn’t be theirs, depending on their stage of addiction, since a trigger is not a choice, although how to deal with it is. Are you implying that there is a double standard? Well here we go again with the rules and how to create rules that are in everyone’s best interest when not every addict is the same. I know, I know, Alexander as the owner of this site can do whatever the heck he wants and just make up rules as he pleases, but no, actually he can’t because that obviously defeats the purpose of his property existing to help other people, not only himself. Therefore, taking into account what those other people need in order to be helped is the most valid basis for making rules. From the NoFap forum rules: “Avatars and Images. As we have a large and diverse user-base, policies are created and enforced with all people considered. For example, while a photograph of a shirtless man might not be arousing for a straight male user, straight females and non-heterosexual men might find the photograph to be arousing. “ okay, so what if an addict had a problem with bestiality and some user is going to have a picture of their dog as an avatar? Or indeed, what about the addicts that get triggered by a non-suggestive picture of a woman? Self-control and choice? Why not just have self-control and choice for everyone then? There is no solution to make it right for everyone, as I already tried to point out earlier, questioning where to draw the line and how to make fair rules for everyone. But then the argument of “self control/choice” and “morons will be morons and just blame other people for their problems” becomes irrelevant, since apparently there IS a need for rules to exist, to not trigger people on this site, because being triggered is not a choice and doesn’t help to overcome the early stages of addiction. I don’t think you are being rude, but I think you are being sarcastic. And I don’t understand what I did or said to deserve a sarcastic answer. I’m sure when in high school your teacher asked you ‘what was the difference between world war 1 and world war 2?’ you didn’t answer “well it seems straightforward, one was first and the other was second lol’ you didn’t do that because you respected your teacher’s authority. Two other people in this thread were able to answer the same question without sarcasm. I know it’s hard to convey the tone of a discussion through text, but that is how I interpreted it. And as a recovering porn addict and recently going through a lot of relapses, the last thing I need is conflict. So I feel like there is no point to continue when my respect towards you and your opinion isn’t reciprocated. I will agree to disagree with you here and wish you a nice day.
I am sorry too if I misunderstood you then, I didn't mean to put words into your mouth either. But I honestly wonder, what is going on on this site with being accused of speaking for everyone? I don’t know if I should be offended or flattered that my personal views carry this much weight. Apparently I have to label every one of my sentences with “this is my opinion” so that nobody could possibly think I am stating objective facts of the universe when obviously talking about very subjective matters. If I say “Cardi B is the best musician ever” everyone is going to assume I’m speaking for every single human being’s musical taste and harass me for making such claims? How does that even sound reasonable to assume I am speaking for every woman on NoFap? Thank you for the clarification. My question was aimed more towards why is there a need for a private section compared to a public one, but I understand that the only one who can really answer that is me or another woman, since men have no idea what is going on there. Sounds like a mysterious place.
The rules of this site are not a double standard, but the way some people treat women here is absolutely a double standard. I did absolutely nothing wrong by having that picture, and moderators backed me up and said I was not breaking any rules by having that picture. But this is really beside the point. This was a long time ago. I was just mentioning it as an aside. I didn't intend to start a whole discussion over an issue that was resolved years ago. I'm not gonna get into this. We clearly have a difference of opinion here, and from my experience as a moderator, I can say it is difficult enough for them to even come to agreement on this themsleves. It's pointless for us to argue about it. Well, idk what to tell you. I wasn't being sarcastic at all. I was answering your question as best as I could. If you want to think I'm being sarcastic, then I guess you will believe that, but I genuinely wasnt. Nothing... I wasn't being sarcastic. Maybe you just need to talk to somebody else about this, because you seem to take everything I say as negative in some way, even when I'm just answering a simple question. I'm not sure what else I can say. Dude, I wasn't being sarcatic. I don't know how else to say it. I literally said in my post that I wasn't trying to be rude. Being sarcastic would be being rude. I literally have no idea how I could have answered any differently, but you still have a problem with it. And if two other people gave you a better answer, great! I'm glad they were able to answer your question better than me, because I didn't know how to answer that. Yes, that's why I literally clarified my tone with words, by explicitly saying that I wasn't trying to be rude. But you still took it as rude. So what the heck else am I supposed to say? I'm convinced there is nothing I can possibly say to you that you wouldn't take negatively, so just ask someone else your questions. I did my best to answer and be polite. Idk what more you want from me. YOU are the one who made this a conflict. All I did was answer your question. You're the one who decided to take it negatively and turn it into something it wasnt. I have not been disrespectful to you at all. But again, I doubt anything I say at this point will even matter, because you seem to not listen or believe me when I tell you I'm not trying to be rude. So whatever. Idk what else I can say at this point. If you don't want conflict, then maybe you should believe people when they say they aren't meaning to sound rude, and not accuse them of being sarcastic when they literally just said they were being genuine.
Okay, well, obviously I really wish I had worded my original post differently. I actually thought we were done with this and good with each other, but apparently I need to clarify a few things concerning your last post about me. Actually, what I said was that you SOUNDED self-righteous with a lot of your posts on this thread and that you SEEMED pretty unable to agree to disagree with people here. I wasn’t judging you, and I wasn’t trying to analyze you, or imply that I know all about you. Those were my honest opinions on how you were coming across. Please don’t twist this and spin it into me calling you names. You’re the one who said what I was doing is stupid. Okay, so once again, I posted later that in that original post I was talking about men who disregarded warning for women only and went in to post anyway. I’m not sure why this came up again. And this is America, so yes, it turns out that people actually can call others names for whatever reason they want. But actually, its funny you should mention that. Isn’t that exactly what you did here, in addiction to generalizing my comment? You posted that and then literally in the same thread, you posted But apparently you can, I guess. You can generalize what I’m saying, but if someone else does it to you, they’re not even allowed to give their opinion of how you come across when you generalize them. Is that how this works for you? And lastly, I can’t help but notice that since I corrected what I meant in my original post and later apologized for it in this thread, and again in a PM to you, you have not even come close to apologizing for generalizing me as someone who was insulting every men who simply wants to genuinely help men. I never asked for or expected an apology, yet I gave you one anyway. But since you want to carry this thing on, I brought it up. I was good with all of this, and with you. I apologized to you and clarified what I should’ve stated in my original comment. I’m truly not trying to start anything with anyone, but if something happens in here, I refuse to just let people post their twisted version of what happened without setting the record straight.
I really don't want to argue back and forth on this forever, but I don't see how me saying that something you said was stupid is equivalent to you saying i sound self righteous and like I'm incapable of agreeing to disagree with people. What i said was about one thing you said, not about your entire demeanor as aperson. What you said about me was about me in general. If you say you think something I said is dumb, that's perfectly fine. I have no problem with that. That's not the same as saying I seem like a self righteous person who can't agree to disagree with people. I'm not going to go back and forth about that. If you don't think those are different, then idk what to tell you. They are extremely different to me, but whatever. We will just have to agree to disagree. No... not at all. I didn't call you names. I said that the thing you said sounded stupid to me. I didn't say you sound stupid. There is s difference. But again,,if you can't see the difference, then we will just have to agree to disagree. To explain it differently: I said "that idea sounds stupid to me." I didn't say "you sound stupid." To me, those are very different statements. One is making a statement about an idea, and I think that's okay, and then other is making a personal statement about a person, and I don't think that's okay in a civil conversation. Actually I kind of did... I believe I said I was sorry if I misunderstood you, because I didn't realize in you original post that you were talking about a thread specific to women only. I'm not going to go back and try to quote it, because it's really difficult to do that on my phone. But I'm pretty sure I said that. If I misunderstood you on anything else, I'm sorry for that too. I didn't realize I had misunderstood or generalized something you said incorrectly. I'm sorry if you think I'm twisting things. I'm really not. Let's be clear here that in your private message to me you said that you're sorry that you misunderstood me in my original comment. You didn't say you were sorry for saying I sound self righteous and like I can't agree to disagree with people. I don't want to split hairs, but personally that just didn't seem like a very good apology to me. I appreciate the apology, but it would have liked a but more recognition of the fact that calling me self righteous out of nowhere when we've literally never even spoken, was comoeltelt uncalled for. If that's what you meant when you said you were sorry for misunderstanding me, then okay, I accept and that's fine. It's not my intention to twist anything or lie about anything. If you feel I've twisted something, feel free to clarify, but I have zero negative intentions here. If I've twisted anything or misrepresented what you said, it's not intentional and I apologize.
Sorry for the typos. I'm on my phone. I'm not going to fix them, because this has honestly gone on long enough at this point.
Honestly, I really just want this bickering to be over. To anyone I've misunderstood or offended in this thread, I'm sorry. It's never my intention to misunderstand someone. If we disagree, we disagree, and that's fine. I'm not one to not speak my mind, as I'm sure most people here are aware. I'm comfortable voicing my disagreement with people, but that doesn't mean I have any ill will toward anyone. I just disagree with you, and that's fine. I really don't feel like this is at all important enough for anyone to be overly upset about. It's just a disagreement. When it comes to personal statements that I felt were over the top and uncalled for, I didn't appreciate that, and I didn't really feel it was fully acknowledged as wrong. In fact, I still don't, given that saying I sound self righteous is being compared to saying something someone said was stupid, which are not comparable to me. I'm not going to apologize for feeling that way. If you see them as the same, that's fine. We disagree on that, too. Let's all just agree to disagree and move on with our lives. Or do whatever you want to do. It's up to you, but I'm going to move on.
Well most of the people in here don't use english as primary language, I guess that misunderstanding are impossible to avoid Because ,as said, we can't know your tone or what you mean, we have to assume, and maybe we assume wrong, if I would have been a person able to understand thing always the right way, I would have stopped before this addiction would have ruined my life, am I wrong? So please forgive just a human mistake, but if I think that something between men and women is different, and I know that I am the one who think that, I would say "what's the point for me for doing X compared to a woman doing it?" not "what's the point for men for doing X compared to women doing it?". Understood where our misunderstanding lies? Maybe you just used the wrong words for espressing it, or maybe I was the one who did it, didn't matter, it's only through discussion(politely of course) that we learn. Well as you said you are the one who can answer, I can only make a guess, and mine is that support is good only if required, I mean I went to journal of women because they were already my friends, I knew it before that I could write on them, becuase we had already talked about our problems. Some users, instead, maybe with the best intentions in the world, could make "uncomfortable" some women that would prefer to not have men on her journal, I don't know why, but if a woman don't want men to answer I think it is good that she could be free to do so
