GROW UP - Men posting in the "Women's Reboot" forum

You sound pretty self righteous with a lot of your posts on this thread. I should apologize because I left out the fact that the replies from men that my wife was talking about were in the women only thread that has since become restricted to women only. You seem pretty unable to agree to disagree with people here. I am absolutely in NO WAY trying to say that men cannot help or give helpful advice to any woman on this subject, or any other subject. My original post in this thread (which again was something I left out) was to say that men should not be trying to ask if they can help women with a sexual addiction in a forum meant only for women. You seem to be doing a lot of judging and insulting rather than giving constructive criticism and advice. Yes, sometimes some people need a little more harsh words, but nothing you're saying on here seems to be helping anyone. It seems to me that you're just arguing to force your point in people's faces rather than discussing an issue we're obviously disagreeing about.

Lovely. Especially when your profile page says that you haven't even been here for three years yet. Maybe try being a little more helpful, truthful, and constructive and a bit less argumentative.

 

Lmao! Don't be a pervert and don't push it where you are not welcome. I don't think these directions need to be spoonfed. Be it a man or woman... Self control and self accountability cannot be put on the authorities to be taken care by.

 

People delete accounts and make new ones... It's pretty obvious, I suppose.

 

Men can provide encouragement and support... And I am certain no women in their right mind would object to it. However if you are butting in with intimate details, in an area you clearly have no idea or rights to be talking about, than that becomes an issue.

In my opinion all of you are arguing over the wrong interpretation of what other person says (and that other person is angry and isn't doing a good job explaining it in first place either)... And it's all a muddle now. I suppose everyone should drop it now. If you can't debate without bringing feelings, it's not the place for you.

 

2 cents... You have no rights making such insane judgements over what other people post, because it makes you a hypocrite. So tooting your own horn of moral high ground is not good, from where I see you.

 

Exactly...

Just because you have zero self control or common decency, doesn't mean every other person is like you. Also just because you happen across some obvious jerks ruining other people's day, doesn't mean you gotta morph into one to save it.

 

I won't respond anymore... I agree with you that we should all drop it now. But I just wanted to let you know that this statement right here is a hypocritical one. You need to look inside and mull it over.

 

I'm perfectly capable of agreeing to disagree with people. I do it all the time. If you think I'm not capable of that, then clearly you don't know me at all. I see things I disagree with on here every single day, and don't respond to them. This is something I care about pretty strongly, so I felt like responding. I'm not going to defend my decision to respond to this thread.

Also, I literally just liked that guy's last post and was not going to say anything more, because I thought maybe I misunderstood him and some things got lost in translation, and I don't want to argue needlessly. So... yeah. You don't know me, dude.

I agree. I didn't know you were talking about a forum meant only for women. I apologize if I misunderstood something.

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't recall insulting anyone here at all, but obviously you seem to have a strong opinion about me, so I guess there's probably not much I can say to change your mind on that one. I genuinely felt like my voice in a situation that only effects wome here was being dismissed and ignored, and I was being spoken to rather condescendingly. I'm not the only one who felt that was the case. If you felt differently, well, that's your experience I guess.

See, we agree to disagree. Which I do all the time, freely.

Yep, it says that because it's a second account. I have had three accounts here over the years. Started out as TakingTheSteps, then StepsReborn, then Castielle. I have no reason to lie. It would be rather ridiculous of me to make up the lie that I've been addicted to porn for longer than I have. How pathetic would that be, huh?

I actually would estimate I've been here more like 6 years, but taking into consideration the gaps where I wasn't around for a few months or so, I decided 5 years was a conservative estimate. So if anything, I was trying to guess less than what is probably accurate.

EDIT: Just for funsies, I found my first journal here, and it says November 2015. So, a little under 5 years. My bad for the slight estimation error, but it was hardly an intention lie.

 

Hey, man. Just wanted to say sorry if things got too heated in this discussion. Believe it or not, I'm really not like super angry or anything. I'm just passionate about things sometimes.

It's possible a lot of our disagreement was misunderstanding, or talking about two different things. Or it's possible we just have different opinions, which is also fine.

Just to be clear, I have no ill will toward you at all. I think people sometimes forget that you can disagree strongly with someone without it being personal. I have nothing personal against you, at all. I just very much disagree with almost everything you've said. Lol and some of those things I find very important and they involve something that effects me and the other women here, so I can be a little sensitive about that at times. I want to protect what has been built here for the women, and part of that is preserving the relationship between men and women and how we support each other. I find a lot of what you've suggested to be problematic, such as saying women can just post in the other journal threads if they want men to respond. There are many reasons I don't think that would work as well, but I'm not gonna get into all of that.

Anyway, I just wanted to make that clear. Sometimes people just completely disagree about everything in a discussion, which seems to be the case here, but that doesn't mean I'm hating on you or that I have anything against you as a person. We just disagree, which is fine.

 

The problem with text is that it cannot convey tone or feelings, that's why we invented emojis! I know u r not raging or angry. What I meant was that don't take this too seriously.

 

That might not actually work quite as well as you'd hope. There are very few women in this forum. Their threads would drown in the age-specific sections in no time. To me it seems that the option for women to post to age-specific sections isn't there because men couldn't reply in the women's section, but rather for following reasons:
-If a woman doesn't want to reveal her gender, she isn't forced to choose between giving herself away or breaking the rules.
-If a woman identifies more with her age group than with her gender, she is free to seek her kin.

But you can't really agree to disagree on what the rules of the forum are tho. We can't go by two different set of rules.

As I said previously, since so many people haven't understood something as basic as wether men are allowed to reply in women's section or not, the rules have objectively failed in being clear enough. All I want is for us to never have to have this debate ever again. As far as I see it, this goal would be easily reached if the read first clearly stated wether men are welcome to reply or not.

 

Newsflash: you are not this important. I know I sound harsh, but why do you wanna control everyone so bad? Can you do so? Should you do so? Are you allowed to do so?

So the tl;dr is that you don't wanna see people using their brains and freedom of choice to interact or not interact, and want that taken away from them? That's a bit shady in my opinion and idiotic as well. (P.S. it's idiotic in the way that it assumes people should be given black and white choices and shouldn't be allowed to make their own decisions which is absurd.)

 

Well, it is serious and important to me. It may not be to you, but it is to me. So... I will take it as seriously as I want to take it.

 

Beg your pardon? All I want is a simple clarification to be made to the rules so that all people understand what is allowed and what is not. The rule that men are allowed to participate in conversation on the women's reboot section already exists. It just isn't clearly spelled out in the read first. How is me wanting the rules to be written in such a way that people don't misunderstand them in any way equivalent to me wanting to control everyone?

Okay, I think you have severely misunderstood something about what I'm saying. I'm not advocating for changing the rules, just writing them in such a way that people will understand that men are allowed to reply in women's reboot section. How does wanting already existing rules to be clear enough for everyone to understand make me into some wannabe totalitarian dictator.

 

I feel like there should be two options, a section for women only with no men allowed at all OR everyone can post in the same section with gender-neutral struggles. Obviously a section labelled “women in reboot” in a forum that has 90% men struggling with dopamine addiction fueled by sexual attraction to women, what possible train of thought would a porn addict have to click on a section specifically made for women and read specifically about women’s rebooting journeys? I definitely feel no motivation to read through men’s journals of erection/semen/testicle/testosterone issues to offer my help and support. Even if someone's intentions would be genuine, there is no way to separate their motivation to help from the natural motivation to exchange sexual attraction between the opposite gender, porn addict or not. Same reason I would never go to a male gynecologist. Their intention is to provide medical help, but there is no way they can turn off their natural instinct and not get aroused on some level by seeing obvious sexual triggers. Besides, I think there are only a few people out there that are genuinely wanting to help other people just for the sake of helping them, like doctors or caretakers or teachers. But that is a small minority, the majority of human beings is not as selfless when it comes to complete strangers. Not everyone will be friends with everyone and naturally you don’t care about other people’s struggles if you haven’t formed a personal bond with them. So unless someone is walking up to every random person on the street or approaching random people on the internet to offer them “support and encouragement” for their personal struggles, I don’t see a reason for man to do it in a women’s only section and a woman in a men’s only section. Unless someone can truly relate to my struggles on a personal level, words of encouragment or support are pretty meaningless to me if they don’t even know me personally. They don’t know who or how I am, they don’t know and can’t appreciate my personal value so they cannot have a genuine interest in my personal wellbeing. So naturally I will suspect ulterior motives. And after being on this site for 1+ year and receiving certain messages, my suspicions have been confirmed many, many times.

 

There already is a private section for women, with no men allowed. The other women's section is for women who might want to find each other more easily, but also don't mind men commenting on their stuff too.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just informing you in case you are unaware.

 

Who is walking out on street with a plaque showing their problems and struggles? How does this comparison even work?