100 Days Without P or M - The Ultra Marathon (Started on May 15, 2020)

I now know Jefe for over a year. He has been guiding and leading since the day I joined this forum. Thanks a lot @Jefe Rojo ! You had been there through thick and thin.

 

Happy to hit the double digits once again. Keep fighting my friends!

 

---------------End of Day 10 -----------
I really didn't feel like making a post this evening. I am feeling a little under the weather.
And it reminds me of the stuff I use to turn to when I was off nofap. Growing up I would think PMO was always a good thing when you were ill! Sort of makes you think - yeah I'm still working eh?
Another self identified trigger. Successful Day. See you all tomorrow. Take care

 

Thank you for this guys! Sometimes it is better to plan for a big race, I think even thought I usually tend to focus on the day, having an end goal helps us sustain that momentum, especially when the going gets tough.

 

Every single win is a bigger chance for long term success.

Kinda replyinging to the original message, but yes, Thanks @Jefe Rojo This is going great!

 

Still in the game guys. No porn urges at all, honestly. MO urges are minor. Sex urges are overtaking my ability to "say no" to myself. Indulged in more sex with wife, but in the big picture I know this won't help NoFap objectives and especially puts high risk to MO on my radar. Keeping my head right... frequently interacting here, and checking in my meditation app have helped. Staying busy us a must if course, tomorrow back to work from home so I should be busy after a long weekend. 10 days down. 10% cooked!

 

On to day 21 and today I’m feeling so lazy to write this journal, that emptyness,weak,fear feelings continuously hitting me so hard and I can feel some kind of emotional pain b/w my chest and it is telling me “you are weak” I don’t know guys how long it will stay.
Small tip for those who are fu*kin addicted to PMO, you have to be prepared for day 20,21&22.
This shit is going to hit you so hard. that, yesterday I ended up to opening a site, in fact I searched for any new cam video published or not! Then for a moment I stopped myself, closed the site and slept for a while.
Cuz I have decided, if not this time I’ll never achieve this thing future.
Stay hard.

 

Day whatever, doesn't really matter. The only thing matters really is that you don't lose determination and put your guard down.

 

I'm having extreme urges tonight. Been feeling very impulsive and been fixating on sexual thoughts much more than usual and it's been almost impossible to shake off. Really not sure what's changed between Sunday and Monday but it's like night and day - I was feeling really chill until I very suddenly wasn't. I'm trying my best to distract myself and thought I'd write in the thread as a way of trying to calm down. Earlier today I actually wrote a 4 paragraph post to this thread about how I was feeling weak and about my plans and strategies for now and the future on how to cope but I ended up not posting it because it was just getting too long-winded and I felt it would derail the thread a little bit. But if I was feeling weak earlier, I'm feeling downright feeble tonight!

For all my brothers who may be experiencing overwhelming urges, do everything you can to get past them. Distract yourself somehow, with games or your favorite youtube video or do something productive if you can. Write in your journal or write in this thread. Even if it lasts days, I promise the urges won't last forever, no matter how bad it is or long it lasts, you will come to a place of control again. These things come in cycles. I'm writing this for myself as much as anyone. I want every one of us remaining to see ourselves to the finish line. We can all do it, it's very achievable!

There are easy days and hard days. The easy days outnumber the hard ones by a lot, but the hard ones are obviously much more intense. Use the easy days to plan for how you'll deal with the hard ones. Make strategies that will work for you to control your thoughts and curb your unique weaknesses. For example, my own weakness lately has been that I'll let a seemingly innocent sexual thought germinate in my mind until it grows into something much more intense. So for now on I won't allow myself to indulge in sexual thoughts and fantasies at all. The moment I recognize it, I'm going to end it. That may seem extreme and/or repressed, and it's certainly not how I want to spend the rest of my life, but for now I need it. For now I need to be a guardian of my thoughts, of what I allow myself to dwell on, 100%. The quality of our thoughts have so much power over our lives. We can let our thoughts take us over, becoming a victim of our own mind, or we can direct them to fruitful issues and become a powerhouse of creativity and success.

I know a lot you are doing really well these last few days which is great. I hope my own struggles aren't too much of an intense mood change to the thread. I'm already doing a lot better just by organizing these feelings into more cohesive thoughts. Sometimes we just need to take a breather and sometimes we just need to try to understand what's going on inside our heads. Stay strong everyone, we're going to get to the finish line together!

 

Hang in there guys its crazy how topsy curvy this journey is! This is most likely our minds trying to reset. Sooner or later it will end attached elsewhere. To better moments. We all go through this at some point or another. Thanks for sharing because in our dark moments we will come back to these posts as well.

 

Day 11 went nicely for me. Didn't get much done, regrettably but otherwise OK. To be honest, I am excited to find out if days 20-22 will feel difficult for me too. Wish everyone having difficulties right now to pull through.

 

------------------- Day 11 ----------------------
I feel fresh today. No urges (yet) unlike the last couple of days where I was dealing with light triggers.
Also I took a leaf out of the posts on here, and been listening to the audio book 'Atomic Habits'
Implemented some of the 'strategies / tips' and as a result I have managed to get a few things done in the space of an hour that I usually otherwise put of and procrastinate. Cheers Juha!
Still a long way to go before the finish line. All the best everyone for the day (or night) ahead

 

That misery could last whole lifetime.

 

Dear mates,
Today around at 12.10pm I experienced some serious headache while I was working, that is also just one side (right side of my brain) and the pain was so severe, it didn’t go until I took some strong pain killer capsules.

 

I won’t brother! This time no matter what, I’ll complete this journey with you all.