Back to Day 0 all Trigger plus 2.5 hour lecture that I could not step away from the computer for. Just making excuses Another opportunity presents itself!
These last 3 weeks have beeing a sucession of blatant failures for me, in terms of porn but not overall. I've being realising that when you fall under the spell of porn is not exactly about fighthing against the urge itself, but more against the decision to embrace the urge. Fighting the urge is a battle of atrition, but destroying the decision-making instace of the psyche is much more like a Moltke franco-prussian war strategy, going to the center of all. Seeing this might help me, but I actually not sure about how to modify this decison system. And, being more precise, is not about saying, I will not do this, but more like a programing running on the background of the computer, is under the radar of ordinary decision-making, would be somewhat a tendecy of the decision instance to chose from the animal aspect or the rational, or a modiefier (if someone is familiar to RPGs) that increases the chance to choose from porn and not porn. Well... Day 0.
I have not posted since the last time I relapsed and that was a week ago, but in the last 48 hours, I have PMO'd 4 times. Sort of one long relapse/binge. I don't know why I am struggling with this so much, but I think that I need to come on NoFap everyday again to hold myself accountable. best, Mathman1994
Day 7 complete -- looks like meat's back on the menu, boys. @Mathman1994 Wishing you all the best, too. We'll be here to say hello and offer our support whenever you're able to join us! @sunn I know it's natural to feel overwhelmed and angry, but you can rise above those emotions! They are part of the same snare of PMO that wants to hold you back. Look those feelings in the eye and tell them:
Day 83. – "You enter the Dead Marshes, a swampland “Dreary and wearisome. Cold, clammy winter still held sway in this forsaken country”. The lights of fallen fapstronauts seduce many into oblivion. You stare at the water."