I dont know man, it just seems like everything in my life that isnt related to either NoFap or writing isnt going as well as I want. Having real trouble with jobs, I keep applying to places and dont get anywhere, and my location has limited opportunities to begin with. I feel like my degree was a waste of time as it isnt helping me get anywhere at all. I know because of the current situation and because of me being ill and then diagnosed with diabetes just before covid I am in a position where I wasn't able to do anything for literal years, but still, you know? Also feeling very lonely. Few friends to spend time with, those that do spend time with me vanish for days or weeks at a time then return and I just have to accept it. I have more respect from people on this forum. As I do better and better on a streak my desire for a relationship increases and its just driving me insane at this point. I just want someone to love who loves me back, but its just so hard. Finding it difficult to relax and unwind as a result of all this. I've been playing videogames for the last couple hours but really I haven't because I've been replying to posts for the last 45 minutes while the games paused. Alternate between days where I feel fine and days where its like theres no colour to anything, where nothing interests me other than a handful of things and even then not that much. My anxiety seems to be getting worse after a long period of me being on top of it.
Sorry to hear about your struggles bro. I can only advise you to keep fighting. It will get better. Sometimes these lows in life just have to be ridden long enough until the next high. I know that just sounds like a bunch of clichés, but that doesn't mean its not true. I found myself on such paths before, and the only one question that keeps popping up is what's my purpose in life? I've looked to religion as a kid for answers. Rejected it and turned to science in my teens and early adulthood. I'm now at a stage where I found the answer in a blend of both, because life is one big grey area with black and white extremes. Continue on your journey brother. I know it will get better!
I was able to submit my engineering report last Friday, 2500 words in total. I'm now fully swamped with my new job and thesis/manuscript corrections. I'm thankful, however, to be in this position during these trying times. I realize how lucky I am to have a job even before graduating. It's still a struggle to the finish line, but it's one that I face. Keep on writing guys!
I've done great on revising the chapter. I've already completed the beginning and end of the chapter (word count on those coming tomorrow) so I've just got the middle, which is the longest part, and the center of the chapter's plot so that'll be worked on probably next week or so? Maybe tomorrow? I'll have to see when the motivation comes to me.
I'm sorry to hear. I totally get where you're coming from though. I've not started work finding freelance gigs yet, but I've got limited opportunities that aren't online and I've wondered if my degree was a waste, but I'm motivated to try and prove others wrong. I mean, you've made it this far and you've got a degree don't you? That's a starting point. You've got us and while things look bad now, if you put your mind into it and work hard, it'll begin to turn around when you least expect it. Just keep being motivated and things will fall into place soon enough.
Okay, so with everything I've revised and reworked this week, I've gotten 1,826 words of new material so far for Chapter 2, but still got about 3,246 words to go over, edit/rewrite, and work on the next few weeks. I got this though. I'm happy with how much I managed to get done in the two days I did rewrites this week.
For reasons I wont reiterate I dont feel like I have gotten much actual relaxation done this week. Honestly tempted to take another full week off before I return to writing. I'll make my decision Monday morning. I also wrote a haiku. Tears of God rain down. Amidst dreary clouds a break reveals brightest blue.
I ended up deciding to write after all and I'm glad I did. 1463 words. I dont think this chapter will take more than this week to write but we will see.
555 words on my new article today. I'm gonna try something where I'll work on the article for a week, switch gears and do the novel revisions for a week and try not to forget about either one by allowing myself a week off from each. I'm hoping to write some haikus this week as well.
Vacation week with the family. I had some time to write today. It felt great. After this week I will make a new plan and schedule.
As I approach the tail end of book 2, I've been trying to think of a way to explain a certain plot development without it being too contrived. Thankfully, I've thought of something, and its not a perfect solution but it works. As it stands I think the biggest problem facing me now is tying everything together in a way that feels satisfying. I'm very good at establishing stuff I think but I need to stick the landing too.
