Day 0 Unfortunately. Broken up with my GF and went to a dark place - literally binged yesterday on naked girl pics. Complete restart of the recovery process. I believe no sex in the beginning is going to help me too. The comfort of having regular sex made me softer on my goals.
Half of day 10/90 done. It feels like this could be a new habit, but I will have a soft and easy evening after work so this new lifestyle will be tried and stresstested tonight.
Well done. You can do it, man. Just keep focused and keep yourself busy on something clean and productive when you get home.
So this is a mid-day post - usually post in the morning after I wake up. I notice a lot of things today after my awful binge with naked pics yesterday and M'ing a few times. First of all - how quickly you can feel like your old self that was addicted to pornography - for most new people that don't know - I stopped watching actual porn December 2019 - January 2020 I started NoFap and have multiple long streaks and 1 full 90 day streak. I know this feeling will subside but Man is it awuful right now - don't do it. A single binge like that will mostly have mental effects, you will not lose all your progress if you have been off porn for a long time, but it will cost you. It's like all kinds of internal fears surface, because of the hormonal imbalance in the brain. I kid you not - even fears like - judging your own sexuality - what if I am gay and all kinds of thoughts that you may fear. I have had multiple girlfriends over the years, some of which I was very attracted to sexually and had strong feelings for. All the porn I have ever consumed was straight porn or just girls. I have never doubted my sexuality so far in my life. And still a fear like this comes out of nowhere. So after thinking stuff trough - I don't actually feel gay but I feel the FEAR of WHAT IF I WAS (not trying to say anything against gay people I am not homophobic) I can say that temporary fears like this must come from the sudden depression and negative thinking after consuming porn again. I did not feel any of this the day/days before. Sorry for my ramblings - I needed to vent my thoughts. It is easier to think when you put your words down! Final advice of course - think of these things when your mind plays the tricks to make you go back to porn and you will easily detach from that desire! Peace out!
Thanks for sharing this. When it comes to defeating these silly mind tricks, testimony of others is worth gold. Your words will help me fight my own urges. Day 13/90