Day 6!!! Almost there!!! Feeling a bit anxious and urges are starting to grow, but it is completely achievable, I will do my best to keep those behaviors on the past!
Sorry guys, I flunked out without ever mentioning it here. However, the 7-day-challenge is the right challenge for me right now. On every occasion where I use the PC and only have one thought about p I need to go here and check in. So, first check in. Despite the little tingling, I don't want to use porn tonight and I WON'T use porn tonight. I'm staying clear until (soon) I go to bed. One more thing. I'm changing my counter between "abstaining from porn" and "abstaining from porn AND masturbation" all the time. Better I take the easier choice for the counter but still be accountable for masturbation as well.
Relapsed. Managed to power through urges last night, but my electric razor gave out halfway through giving myself a haircut and when I got stuck waiting I gave in to my urges.
This is a little funny. Also I can totally relate: something pisses you off and there you go ... I have observed even light irritations caused my brain to produce urges. But still, a little funny with the empty razor
Yesterday I re-commited myself, today I battled with urges, did 'recovery work', wrote a lot of stuff here. Then I exercised, felt good. Back in the flat I started with washing up some dishes, but now back on the computer and urges again. My system wants to use the internet and then, sooner or later, go on p-sites ... breathing helps! When I was outside for exercise, I thought that after awareness, commitment and techniques to deal with the urges there's one more thing I can do: be strict with myself. I mean at first I couldn't be strict with myself and I needed awareness, commitment and techniques. But the urges can be nasty. So at some point one just have to say "no". Not just no, I don't want to because of this and because of that but no, I'm not allowed. It's decided. No discussion! I think it was a good thought and I need it right now. I realize what I do right now is (what I like to call) recovery work. For a long time I stopped doing it, because I thought I could improvise, do it in my head and come here just to count days and report about my progress. Turn out I fooled myself and fell pray to the addiction. Anyway, now I'm in control. Even if it's fragile this is one of the days where I'm on the edge: the choice I make matters! Well, I actually made up my mind. Now I have to stay my ground. I should behave like an adult. The day is nearly over. What's left to decide is which two or three things I do before I go to sleep. Today was a good day! I can be proud of myself and sleep the sleep of the just
Sure thing. I'm continuing with the next one. Day 7 here, guys! I'm so proud of myself. Tomorrow I will sign to the next challenge, 14 days. See you all there!
Yeah, it is a little funny. I'm just glad I've got something to get me out of the house tomorrow morning to make getting back on track easier.
