Day 123 no PMO. My kids like to “make a wish” when the clock has numbers like 1:23 or 2:34 so I will make a wish today. I wish that I can make it to 234 as my next goal.
Day 8 Had a unproductive day yesterday with a bunch of stress, however I was happy to notice that I didn't get any urges. I'm feeling much better today
Day 11! I'm quite thankful to have found some friends as yesterday might've been a hard day if not for their presence in my life. I'm feeling better today, and more hopeful. I have not relapsed yesterday and I even meditated before sleep for 10 minutes, even if I was a little tipsy. I wish to find some friends with some common interests though, so we can do activities that don't necessarily need alcohol, but again, patience must be practiced and boy do I need a lot of practice.
Had a turbulent week. I apologize for not checking in. Had some good days and had some bad days. I have been keeping my counter accurate though. Since that initial week, I haven't got past 2 days. Been struggling. I hadn't wanted to write and check in and it's just been rough. I've definitely learned a lot though. I will try to be better at checking in.
Spend this day productive. I want to exercise more, so I went for a walk today. Ended up walking for around an hour and a half. Longer than I expected. I don't want to start too intense though. I have had times before that I was very motivated to exercise, but because I hadn't exercised in such a long time, it took a lot out of me and I became less motivated afterwards. So I want to start slow for now, but also sign up for a gym membership in a couple of days and push myself. I'm thinking of buying the Your Brain on Porn book. Has anyone else read this book and would you recommend it? If you recommend other books that cover mental health/self improvement etc. feel free to let me know!
Ah, i returned to instagram just for looking memes, i missed that , maybe if i saw this plataform not all the days , just a few days. Uhm... i will thinking of what to do again
Day 11 Today so far: writing, reading, lifting, cold shower, meditation, prayer, walk, healthy eating. Just trying to keep my mind right. Today I am thankful for my health.
Day 28 Had a very, very close call just now. I don't know what I was thinking either. I was reading about Pokemon and then I was going to log off my laptop and go to bed when the thought "why don't you just take a peek. It cannot hurt." Obviously it can hurt and I did peek at images, but I stopped before too long and came on here instead. I am so close to elf, and I am happy to say that I came on here to report instead of going into the bathroom to PMO. It really crossed my mind to do that though. I thought, I already peeked, so why not look a while longer. And then the next thought would be, well I looked longer, so it is a relapse, therefore, might as well get off to it. And though it took a lot of will power, I did not look longer. And I did not PMO. I am shaking like crazy and have serious urges to go back on there, so I am going to post this, and then actually go to bed. Too dangerous and I violated my rule of no internet after 7/8pm (it is now 10:45PM). Anyway, I am staying accountable. If I peek again in the next few days, I will have to drastically re-evaluate my recovery, and whether I should reset. I am not going to reset now, for one because if I do in this state of vulnerability, I will not just peek again, I will binge. I do not want to binge, so I am going to go to bed and get up tomorrow in a new light. Best, Mathman1994
29 I feel like a boss Came so close to indulgence yesterday. Got up wrote down committment of 7 days of no sexual thoughts, fantasies, no voluntary arousal and of course pmo for next 7 days a piece of blank paper. Neatly tucked in my wallet now. Managed to overcome the intense arousal. Got out my room, had the usual, girls check me out, respect from people I met, and all that. Now back to my path and purpose. Awesome!
Checking in on day 1. So far my libido is still low so the struggle is not very hard but I know what's coming and I'm trying to build healthy habbits like doing sports daily and meditating.