Checking in for day 11 - Great day today, almost no urges, and the ones I did have I was able to put away quite quickly
Day 4. Got my energy back. Not sleepy all the time anymore. Also managed to do around 1 hour of sports and meditate a little. Temptation level way lower than yesterday. Sleep helps a lot in keeping everything under control.
Day 14 Today so far: meditation, prayer, exercise, cold shower, good meal, 8 hours sleep last night. Focusing has been difficult today. I spent too much time ruminating about the past and other stuff. I decided I need, for the time being, to be more focused on acting, rather than trying to think through every little thing. It is difficult. I still feel like a walking shadow sometimes. I keep reminding myself that this foggy, lethargic feeling is related to porn use. "The wages of sin is death," after all. Thankful for all you guys and girls.
Had a fallback again. Not P luckily but still an MO so im resetting. Have to be more strict at night just before sleep, no more electric devices and putting books next to bed from now on to read. Not ever giving up just yet Day 1 check-in - The Dark Fortress, Barad-dûr.
Day 6 Things are really improving with my girlfriend. But the nature of this improvement is an understanding that we had real problems in the lest 7 years together and that working on it now would be a long and hard transformation. In other words. That means that improved relationship would not be equal to sex. And I’m kind of okey with it. But trying to come to terms with not having sex in the foreseeable future is not a fun idea. So on some level I feel like I’m entering hard mood / monk mood. Anybody have any tips on how to make it in real hard mood? But today is still a huge win for me. I keep a calendar next to my bad to mark the days of this progress. And even though this month had been my worst month in 2021, as of today I have more good days then days with PMO so that is a win.
28 days. Tired and focused on resting. Went for a 2 h walk in the afternoon and had pretty much no urges throughout the day.
Day 127 no PMO I had a good day yesterday. Dinner with my family and made a decision that has released some stress. Also had a nice session with my therapist.
Checking in for day 12 Got into a argument with my family yesterday and ended up staying up until late night watching Youtube videos, a nasty habit i thought i had quit a while ago. This morning i had some urges which I was able to relate to the feelings of inadequacy that stemmed from the argument/staying up late, and that realization made it easier to fight them off.
Yeah that's the thing, the better you are able to focus the more small details relevant you are able to see up to the point where you can become caught up stuck between the multitude of emerging choices. I think I need to focus on acting too. I think the phenomena is called Yak Shaving or 'Going down the rabbit's hole' and I have to admit that I'm quite often finding myself doing exactly that sort of thing.
Checking in - Day 2. Had a nightmare that just wouldn't end last night (unrelated to the addiction), so I ended up waking up late today. Late being 6 in the morning. xD But, I'm feeling good today.