Overcame some heavy urges. Feeling somewhat more energized already and motivated! Day 3 check-in - The Dark Fortress, Barad-dûr.
30 days. I made it to Rivendell! Tired and sluggish yesterday, and had to take painkillers twice due to an infection or something around my wisdom tooth. Could barely do any work, let alone any physical exercise. Slept 10 hours this night and still feel tired and sluggish. I'm gonna take it easy today again and hope for better days to come. PMO-wise, the urges were quite weak, although sometimes I get memories from P in my head. Like always, I try to stay calm and let them pass. Thank you all for posting and staying accountable here, I read all of your posts
Although I sometimes find myself thinking along this line too-this is a wrong attitude for we should care and give thanks to God for carrying us through the temptation, don't think that it is our strength but rather a grace of God.
Day 129 no PMO. Headed out of town today to a place I have relapsed before. The last time I was at this place I didn’t have a community like you guys to check in with so I expect I will be ok but please wish me luck.
Day 4. Not many words, just painful withdrawal. I WILL become a White Wizard. Cheers friends, together!
I wish you not the luck exactly but to always keep in mind that we are with you all the time in your heart and in your mind! You wouldn't do anything abominable in our mighty company's presence, would you? Wish you a good and safe journey brother!
It's a pain from the healing of self-inflicted wounds. Every good day lessens the pain until it becomes nothing and good heath takes it's place. Carry on brother, you're doing good ! ...and it's a good strategy to see yourself coming before you arrive !
Uruk-Hi! Not much to say. I’m supper happy that I’m here, but it is hard to feel like I’m putting most of my energy into not doing something. I feel that I can’t really focus in my studies and I’m trying not to be stressed about it because I know that would only make me want to relapse even harder. So I’m here, and I’m winning right now. but at what cost. I even had a cold shower this morning for the first time and it…sucked… it sucked so much.
Checking in for day 14 - 2 weeks done! Yeah I'm feeling much more at peace with them now, and I can definetly understand where they were coming from, I just got frustrated because it was their only reaction to the situation - I think I was both disapointed in them for being a bit uncaring but also that they did not acknowledge what I did as good (That last part is especially important because it shines a light on my ego and my wish to want to be praised which is something I should try to be more mindful off so it does not control me and lead to more confrontation like in this situation) Yesterday was a hard but very good day, I was under alot of stress and my motivation to NoFAP started wavering slowly as i contemplated escaping through PMO. Thankfully instead, I decided to rush to the gym earlier the usual and I felt amazing after my workout. All the stress and anxiety went away (and so did all PMO thoughts) and afterwards I was able to adress the issues in a calm and secure way. Feeling blessed as I am going to spend the weekend with friends and taking a break from exams. I will probably not check-in until Sunday or Monday but I promise I will stay strong.
Keep doing them! I’ve been doing them regularly for over a year now and I can definitely say that you reach a point where you start to look forward to them and it becomes one of the most essential tools in your box. It becomes less of something that sucks and more something purely invigorating. But you definitely have to push through the first few weeks.
Congratulations brother!! Just a note to say that it spells "Uruk-hai" . You´re doing great, keep going!!
Checking in Fellowship. Feeling really low and tired, like i´ve been beaten up, for real . Another terrible night, but i had a first glimpse of deep sleep, so this can be a good sign. when i finish work, i´m gonna head for the woods for some running and strolling . Breathe the free air Have a good day brave Companion . Checking out.
A present According to tradition King Solomon wore a ring inscribed with this proverb. Whenever king Solomon was unhappy, he would look at the ring that said - this shall pass. Whenever unhappy, king Solomon would rotate the ring which then said - this too shall pass .