0 days >> Nasgûl Hi guys, I need to join you again. I cannot do it alone. I'm willing to give up M aswell.
DAMN - WHY I always relapse on the 6th day? Its a curse... lets do this together bro! I'll make a special plan for day 6-9 cuz these days seems to be hardest for me. My last reason for relapse was quite dumb - had a girl here with me and we was nearly before actual sex. But we need to be quiet cuz my shared apartment need to wake up early in the next morning. So I was a bit frustrated and tired (because of less sleep) the next day and then it happened.
Day 337 no PMO. Yesterday was a good day. I went outside for two thirty minute walks. Came home and my wife and kids had made dinner. I know my wife did it to make me happy and I appreciate that.
Morning checking in I just added a new goal to reach: more 40 days. I've never gone that far, but I know that it's possible and I'll do my best to reach it. Today anger seems to have reduced, maybe it has something to do with exercising or spending some time alone.
Thanks my brother, you are rigth, now I know that something that don't help me is to be sad (something that I didn't know before). Thanks for the reply and for your adivce!
Day 1! I'm in the battle again, I did exercise and ate healthy today. I have a lot of job task to do, so I will be busy today. Keeping strong!
To be sad or to have a bad day is one of my triggers also. Experts say that if you have a habit and you stop it you need to compensate it. Listening to music change my mood (also buying things in Amazon but is not a good habit), watch a movie (one from broly), some DBZ chapters, etc
Check in day 9. I am not an orc anymore. Yey. Sorry guys I am not very enthusiastic, I know. I am going through a tough time. Emotional I am close to a break down due to love issues. I hate being so far away and not being able to sit together and disscuss this issue just as a normal couple would. I hate crying on what's up video and not being understood because the internet is not good enough. I can't explain what the issue is but it started long time ago. We avoided this topic for about two weeks but yesterday shortly before I wanted to sleep it pop up again. And we could not disscuss because I knew that I had to sleep because I had to wake up at 5 AM. I manage to get through this day and I came to the solution to lay it down on Gods feeds. I am not gonna faith and I am not gonna manipulate or what ever because I can't see through my emotions and reasons anymore. I know this isn't a therapie session but I am kind of glad I can tell it somebody. I wish my fiance and I would have a couple or some good friends to go to together. I want that both sides are heard and someone would help us, but this isn't easy to find. Greetings J
Not everyone can renounce themselves to become what they can be...well at least on their own.I don't think anything in life is truly arbitrary. We just tend to be blind to underlying causes and their influences on what looks to us as arbitrary. If you choose to follow your true nature and stay loyal to it -you are bound to become great naturally whereas if you too much accommodating to what others think you should be you cannot become great. You cannot become great following someone else's dreams. "Put aside the Ranger, become who you were born to be" “Ónen i-Estel Edain”“ Ú-chebin estel anim.”
As a matter of fact you are not giving up anything, but on the other hand drug addict who 'gives up' something like heroin thinks that he gives up a really 'valuable' staff, which no normal person wants to be even near him. What value do you see in pmoing for your life, for yourself, how much time have you already wasted, try to calculate and think how your life could be different if you invested it in some beneficial pursuit?
Day 8! an Uruk - Hai - I feel stronger and faster, but I´m still a slave to the PMO ring. A desire arises to break free from its chains. I don't have strong urges but I have a lot of anxiety, which doesn't allow me to work well. Today I installed a porn blocker and I tested it! Well, it didn't block one of the sites, and it was terrible. The urge not to close the site or to open it again was very strong. This thing is not trivial. I am right now. But what a scary moment.
Day 25 I’ve made it safely to the watchtower of Amon Sûl - so exciting to be close to a full month without PMO! Had a decent day at work, received some news that had me pretty miffed in the morning but soon accepted the situation for what it is and I intend to make the most of it. Been falling behind in my Bible reading so I need to get back on track with that, it’s the only thing that will truly sustain me on the rest of my journey.
Night checking in Got sick again... I think that I didn't recoverd well since friday and ended up stressing my body with a pool party and poor eating, so I'm going to take my recovering serious this time and rest as it's needed. Also, I'll be home alone for the next two days and this is huge trigger. I hope I'll pass through that time without relapsing
Avoid sugar, coffeine, drugs & alcohol while you're alone. I found out those are my triggers. May be triggers for someone else as well.