Day 35 - We enter the cold Misty Mountains, the Hithaeglir. Yesterday I allowed images from the past to stay in my mind producing strong urges. I am still here but fighting with this leaves me exhausted, and I have been less productive at work. On the other hand, I don't feel this mental fog, I can think clearly and be creative. Think are beginning to work. Thanks, @RiseToGreatness for the objects. Everything you add to the challenge helps us to stay on track. And the journey continues...
Checking in Fellowship friends! Day 396 free of MO and day 5 free of porn. Today was a difficult day, very bizarre in fact. I woke up from a nightmare and felt the fear of "impending doom" as if something very bad was going to happen. It passed after 10-15 mins. I took a magnesium supplement this morning just to replenish a bit from the stress and tension that I have been feeling lately. I had a deep moment of darkness yesterday as well, the weather took a turn for the worst again and no sun in sight. I believe this is having quite the effect on me. At work today I was dealing with some brain fog and tension, @RiseToGreatness I join you in that department, it made the day very difficult. I hope for this moment to pass quickly, so I can regain a sense of wellbeing. As with anything else, I will have to be patient. Stay strong! @Kairose Well done on your achievement ! @kaerhal To answer your question, it takes time. It all depends on you, how many things did you use PMO to avoid. What type of porn you watched, the frequency (I.e daily, weekly or multiple times a day), how many years as well. Withdrawal fluctuates per person. If you look at the PAWS section, certain people take 2 years + to fully recover their "factory setting". Be patient and trust the process. @Slider8 Congrats on 100 days!
4 days. Work week started out decent, although I feel nervous that some half-hazard actions will catch up on me later... I've also started tutoring a nice young girl in some school subjects for a small fee, we will most likely meet online a few nights every week. It's rewarding and I hope it will give me a break from any upcoming urges - when I'm helping out other people, I feel more motivated to stay on the path of fighting this addiction. I want to live by a better example.
Day 22. Spent whole weekend with my new girlfriend, made little party with her friends. Tomorrow going to the gym, still accountable.
Day 52 Full of nerves today, had a difficult meeting to attend this afternoon, and despite some annoyances the result has been mostly positive - just a few more follow-ups now and I believe God has the rest in hand. Urges were very mild today even though I had a explicit dream, but that changed when I found out a girl I recently met fancies me. I don’t plan on taking it any further, but in response I got rather aroused and flustered which then triggered a bunch of unhelpful thoughts. This didn’t last long, but it’s reminded me to be careful and not get complacent about things that have the potential to become triggers. @Kairose @CALM IN SUFFERING @Slider8 - congratulations to all of you on reaching these amazing milestones. You each reflect victory in different stages of the journey we face together, and you are all an encouragement to me!
Congrats Kairose, way to go bro! Welcome to our legion, get your equipment and join the ranks. Strenght & Honor!
19 days – A brave friend, Tom Bombadil, takes notice of your quest and decides to help. He teaches you a rhyme to summon him if you fall into danger within his borders. I just realized I've entered Psychopath phase. I used to experience this stage roughly around 60+ days. It's purge of all fear and doubt, and it's utter fearlessness. I also wanted to harm people when I entered this stage, as I remember few months ago. At work, I used to look at people and would take advantage of their niceness, and push their boundaries by being rude, and it'd surprise me how much they'd just not fight back. I'm devoid of all emotions and there's just unblinking stare. I could do anything right now.
9 days Huge comgratulations @Kairose and @CALM IN SUFFERING and @Slider8 and @Ready to Stop So many milestones reached today, you give me hope
Day 5 Today is going to be hard. Last night I saw some triggering images, (some girls at the gym) and even after looking away and not trying to look again or anything, I still could not help feeling crazy urges when I got home. I came home from the gym at 21:00 after a full day of doing good things so I was tired but in a good way but I didn't have the energy to do some good habits like meditation or anything like that. Ended up just watching a 25 minutes long YouTube video of how to change a horseshoe, the most untriggering video in the world I'm sure it would come in handy one day. but I woke up with that girl on my mind, so i know i have to be extra safe today.