35/90 Yesterday was tough. I had to rely on my relapse prevention plan as the surge of urges came through unexpectedly. Feeling good about myself this morning.
Check out the recovery program on https://www.recoverynation.com/recovery/recovery_workshop_contents.php It is an intense program that requires daily dedication and application (90 days plus) but I think it can help you build a firm foundation for a permanent recovery. It is helping me a lot.
If watching explicit images voluntarily (or anything you consider that arouses you) is considered a relapse, then I'm in my day 0.
It could be both. But leakage is very common. People often say it's normal but I would rather say it's not normal at all. It's a sign of weakness in the prostate often caused by too much fapping. Two reasons could be 1. the nerves around the penis/prostate has become too sensitive because of over-stimulation. And 2. Having fantasies during the day and especially before bedtime. Try to do kegel. Do it every day for a week or two at the most. Then stop. Nothing is good when you over-do it. Sit down on your bed, hold in your muscles as if you want to stop the flow of urine. Do about one for each second. You should be able to do 80 or 100 without any problems. You can also hold your muscles for as long as you can. Maybe for 5 minutes or so. There's also something called reverse kegel, but it's a littebit harder to do and I don't know exactly what it's good for. Kegel has helped many men with leakage or erection problems. But if you over-do it, it will lead to problems. Only do as much as you need to. Try it for a week and see if you can stop the leakage. I suggest you do the exercise before you go to bed.
Tonight it will be day 24 for me. I feel a "need" to look for images online. But I have decided not to do it for a week. When I have avoided it for a week I will decide maybe I can abstain from it for a few more days, and so forth..
I read through your post atleast twice, to make sure I don't miss out on some of the tips and I know what you are saying to be true. You mentioned having a passion and redirecting your focus on something else instead of porn. I have a few minor victories doing this, but I wish the results would not be as short lived, since I would go 1 week super focused on my life and the things I love, during those moments, I wouldn't feel need to watch porn or fap. Atleast for that short period of time, I guess I struggle a lot with the sustainability of my decision making and focus. And lack the consistency thereof. Perception is a big one, a lot of this is largely mindset problem as well, there was a time I went 15 days easy (which something that rarely happens for me) shortly after I asked for prayers from a pastor, at that time I believed so much that I was indeed free from this, and my belief or perception changed that I couldn't see porn as a problem in my life any more that the changes quickly started manifesting, it was like I was on autopilot for those two weeks, my energy and motivation was coming back, heck I had an idea to write a book even started to write, no hesitation, no lethargy, nothing. Coming back to distraction I do need them. I need anything, to help get out of this, it's often harder to pick yourself up when you fallen harder again after just a few days of victory. I have been on nofap for a couple of years now it's quite daunting with no tangible results.
Day 14 completed successfully Lifestyle changes need to be done Looking forward for the 3rd milestone 21 days ******************************14/90**************************
