DAY 25 Fellows! Every time you feel bad and have unhealthy urges, observe how your mind try to get you to M or watch P. Treat it as a lesson Good luck on your path : )
Day 2 Low urges yestarday, starting to write in a personal diary but for things that are not related to nofap. Keep strong my brothers
Day 2 complete. Definitely won some battles today, so I'm proud of that. Early in a streak, when the memory of a relapse is fresh, it's easy to remind myself of how useless and disgusting PMO is. I wish I could extend that feeling so that I never forget and I can always remind myself why I choose every single day to leave this behind. @Ready to Stop You'll have to tell us how it went! I've run a few half-marathons before but the full thing sounds like it's on an entirely different level. St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!
1 days >> Orc (The spell of porn is strong in you) I have cast off the cloak of the Nazgûl and rejoined the realm of the living... Or at least I think. Today I faced an interesting test. When I was out for my walk I saw what looked to be a torn out picture from a magazine that was placed on a bench along the side of the path. Out of the corner of my eye I saw what looked to be the female form. A voice in my head instinctively told me not to look at it knowing it seemed to show a lot of skin, but I didn't heed. I found myself staring at the picture of a topless woman! Who would expect to see porn on a public path?! My attention got stuck on it for a short period before I tore my attention away and kept on walking. On the way back I didn't look and used the experience to test my willpower. I don't know if this counts as looking at porn though, so I will let our resident Valar @RiseToGreatness decide. In the event that I am in the clear and the journey continues then I am now an Elf twisted and ruined by the dark powers of Melkor; an Orc! I serve the dark lord in Mordor for now, but I'll be free of his chains soon enough. My first major goal is to make it to 30 days and become a pure Elf as all Orc's were meant to be! I can definitely feel a certain heaviness, but I'm better then I was yesterday. Yesterday I felt so exhausted I couldn't even complete my walk I felt so bad. I felt really uncomfortable and awkward walking around today though, especially walking by girls. I didn't really want anyone to approach me in general though; social anxiety was very high. One step at a time I guess...
Day 48 complete I last posted on wednesday morning. Wednseday went good, my wife was home with me most of the time. But for thursday and friday I also stayed home because I got sick again and I was left alone completely. Thursday was bad, I looked at a lot of sexy girl images, not any P content though, even when I didn’t want to. On friday I managed not to look at any girls even at social media profiles. And saturday was a great day with my wife at home, still being sick. Today I am still sick. I feel like I am loosing this game of life, so I am coming back to sleeping 8-9 strict, no video games even on the phone and reading before bed. Right now I am sleeping < 8, I have more time, but I waste much more of it. And I am determined to eat one clove of garlic with every dinner for the health.
Day 148 This battle seems to have ramped up in difficulty in recent days; I’ve been aroused nearly all day, persistent erections, and I even had a dream that I was watching porn! While I can’t help but laugh at the latest part, it’s still annoying to feel like I’ve failed - even if it was only a dream!
Day 1 Two days ago everything was going great. But that night I went out and had a couple of drinks and when I came back I watched Porn. I stopped and got my shit together but it was definitely a relapse. I’m just happy that I stopped and didn’t finish or binge. Yesterday I acted right and I feel fine now. So I’m not happy about it but it could have been much worse.