Good night, fellas! Quoting The Terminator, I'm back! I decided to took some time off. I needed it to reset my mind and get back to simplicity. And also, I needed it to wipe out some personal stuff in my life, things that needed to be dealt with before it was too late. Well, all those things are already solved, or at least headed to resolution, so I think I'm good to get back here to my day to day checking in. I had some good and some ugly streaks throughout this time, but I decided to voluntarily reset the counter on last monday (without relapsing, though), since this day was surely a remarkable day in my life. This makes me on day 6 right now, and that makes me an ORC. PS.: It's really nice to read some of your messages and see that you guys are progressing, I'm really glad for it, you inspire me to be a better version of myself!
Day 49 complete Strict sleeping schedule was a good idea, but eating a clove of garlic at dinner was a bad idea, it gave me a bad reflux that took about 2h of sleep away from me. No major urges, but I will work from home today as well, so I need to be vigilant.
Havent been on in a while so im resetting. It's time to get back on track. Still really grateful i can always come back here so im not feeling down even after MO relapse. May god bless you all Day 0 - Nazgul, The Dark Tower Barad-Dûr
Day 2 Super tired after work today. I've complained about this job a number of times in this thread, but I put in notice a bit ago. Today my manager was trying to convince me to stay which makes me feel guilty. I'm really losing my hair around the temples boys! It's been slowly going there for quite a few years, but now it's too thin to cover up that well. I used to be able to comb my hair to the side and that'd cover it up. Now (especially in certain lighting) it's getting too obvious. It just adds to my already pretty long list of insecurities. I'm communicating with a doctor about different things I can maybe do, so we'll see. Still a lot of anxiety, especially around women. It's no wonder they don't like me when I'm carrying around such weird energy. It's most certainly far from all there is to it, but I feel I've found it easier to interact with them before during long streaks. I'm obsessed with what they think of me and it's NOT serving me. I just have to keep pressing forward... I feel super flat and detached minus these insecurities, but I know if I persist I'll get through this.
Day 2 Everything feels like it is going great, but I feel like it might be an allusion. In two days I’m going to start a new job and I’m freaking out. I didn’t have a real job for more than 2 and a half years and it was in a completely different field. I feel like a huge imposter and I’m really scared because it looks like the world is going into a big recession. There is nothing really to do right now. But I just don’t know how to calm down. The only real plan I have for today is to be out of the house and away from my phone for as much as I can.
Day 462 no PMO. I was on FB and found myself fishing for profiles. No P, M or O but still not good. I need to stay away from Facebook and LinkedIn for a bit to let this die down.
Yep, PMO causes hair loss. Its unpopular to state this but its a fact. I know from personal experience. I lose hair every time I fap and it gets frail and greasy. Wierd itching sensations too. When I stop, my hair rarely falls out, feels healthier.
Day 1 Orc Pretty irritated today. Have to work. Got up early. It was raining hard unpleasant day. Pimple near my noise because of flapping day before. I don't want it to scar. Already too many scars on my face. I guess I really have turned into an ugly orc. You guys inspire me with your long streaks. I wish I was strong enough like everyone here to take charge and change my life.
Day 4 Worked out and trying to eat healthy. I'm counting the calories of the food that I'm eating, so will work for eating healthy. Low urges yestarday, keep strong my brothers.
I find it hard to believe, but I've heard a number of people say this... Too much fapping and stress could be speeding it up, but in my case I think it's also just natural unfortunately as baldness runs in the family. People on my moms side get it especially bad.
Checking in Fellowship! 115 days, Shadowfax has come to my aid. Thanks ma friend!!! Not a good day, my mood is good, but i have low energy and heavy brain fog. but this is due to little sleep last night, so today i´m gonna sleep early to catch up my rest. No urges or temptations. All good. Checking out. Have a great day brave Warriors!
I tried to relapse, forgetting that I had Screen Time set not to let me look up 'inappropriate content'. This prevented me, though I knew I could just turn it off. I stopped myself. That was a win, but I am still thinking about relapsing today.