[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 2/90 completed.

 

Day 26.

I will not PMO today because I feel better when I don't.

 

Day 11 of my 90 day challenge

 

Day 31



7 August 2022

 

Day 33

 

Day 48

 

Day 13 done

 

Day 1

One of several projects is now finished! This time I've emptied the attic. It's now completely empty for the first time since ~ 1970 when it was build. A lot of heavy things and I could only get up/down by ladder. Next part is to get it out of the garage and then to throw away more than half of it!

Despite my previous relapses I've been very consistent with this project and I never let go of it, despite all distractions. Guess my self control isn't too bad after all.

Nothing feels better than getting rid of crap that you don't want or need.

Another goal is to delete the remaining P on my external harddrive when I get access to it again.

Doing all of this is like therapy for me. Sweat has run down my face and I've lost a few pounds and gained some muscles thanks to this massive project. I've done a ton of work, mostly all by myself and there's a lot more to do. Which is good. I'm looking forward to see the final results. I / we have been doing this for 3+ months now.

Everybody do not have the privilege to do some work or to have a project on the countryside, but I do! I'm thinking of building some kind of training construction/frame to be able to do some exercies outside.

Not very long time ago I made it to Day 60 and messed up only because of my OCD-like obsession with collecting things, like porn, which then lead to a relapse because you can't watch P for hours and hours without getting turned on because then you relapse.. I need to remind myself that this behaviour is just false security. It's not really about P, it's the sense of saving something that gives me a dopamine rush and by storing that somewhere it gives me a false sense of security when this in fact is about me espacing from my feelings. It's sort of like putting a screen between me and me unpleasant feelings/memories. But in the end it just makes me sad, a bit loney, and too numb to feel my emotions, the mind becomes foggy and depression comes along with that. And from that comes PMO and the vicious circle goes on until I step out of it.

This summer I want to END my porn addiction once and for all, and just work on myself, my body, my mind, my spirit and my book, and just heal myself. I know the journey will be long. But it's the mindset that matters the most. Not the number of days!

Today I laid a new row of bricks. Time for the next row and it starts with one brick.

 

Day 5

 

Day 13

 

day 1

 

Day 7 complete

 

Day 1/90

 

Day 0 yesterday
Day 1 today

 

Day 4 done.

 

Day 27.

I will not PMO today because I want to be proud of myself when I look in the mirror.

 

Day 12 of my 90 day challenge

 

Day 3

 

Day 9

 

Starting now!! Wish me luck