Happy Tuesday, Fellowship! Still doing ok. Still trying to reduce screen time. Doing ok with not watching tv much, and only about a 1/2 hr playing games on my phone. Reading books instead is working. Went for a walk yesterday. Doing the Conqueror Virtual challenge, there is a LOTR series which is fun and keeps me walking regularly. link: https://www.theconqueror.events/checkouts/lotr-direct-checkout-bundle/
Day 355 Yesterday was awesome! I could manage my "excitement" or "stimulation" from being alone in my house with this two cute girls... I think it doesn't make sense to me to be with a girl really... I feel I don't need it. And I love my freedom, I love to be free to love everyone just the same. Love to be able to go anywhere or try anything (that's good). Love to be free of attachments.
237 Reading some stuff about female narcissistic personality syndrome. It is amazing the power an evil person can have over you. One more reason not to be a slave of sex otherwise you'll be controlled by powerful evil forces. Stay strong.
Checking in Fellowship! Bad withdrawal day today. i wake up very tired and sad. this feeling lingering through the day, even after taking a cold shower. i skipped the wim hof breathing due to lack of time. i eventually started fishing on sexy dancing videos, twice. it was just a couple of seconds but enough for me to spot a red flag. i did the flare method and feeling better now, less triggered. my plan for the rest of the day is just to be around people. don´t force myself to do anything, just take it light and happy. better that than a relapse. so right now there´s no one in my office, as usual in the afternoon. this set increases the risk of a relapse, so i´m gonna visit other departments, see what the guys are up to. this department is gonna be empty for a while, but i rather risk having some trouble with that, instead of relapsing. i really don´t want to be alone right now. It was really good to take this off my chest with you, my brothers . it´s not easy, it´s somewhat embarrasing, but it helps. honesty really helps against an addiction, specially in triggering moments. thanks for being here with me, my brothers. for the good and the bad. Checking out.
Day 13 check in. Days PMO-free in 2022: 199 out of 207. "Have patience. Go where you must go, and hope!” — Gandalf
check out Day 0 Im tired after work - wont do much - early weak up tomorrow Im writing journal before Ill go to bed -routines I will shorten Good Night!
Real question, did anybody here ever attended some 12 stap program? And if so, would you recommend it?
Day 90 @Kratos_GOW congratulations brother. Both of us became grey wizards. Thank for everyone who help me to reach this goal
10 Days -- I spend the night at the old Watchtower of Amon Sûl. PMO forces are lurking in the area. That's pretty accurate. It isn't the urges themselves, but still this voice in my head telling me that this streak won't last much longer, this streak has already gone on long enough, I might as well relapse and get it over with. No! That's not true! I want to do right by myself, by God, and by everyone who might be hurt by my addiction! @RiseToGreatness You've mentioned "the flare method" a couple times now. What is that? Guardian angels, pray for us!
48 (16 hard mode) days complete I had a wet dream this morning. So yesterday I avoided many dangerous situations and no peeking happened, today I will continue. The morning is the most difficult to survive I will leave my phone before going to the toilet.
Checking in - 47 days. My streak is 47 days long, it's actually a lot, I forgot to celebrate good things and mostly focusing on relapses, I know, it's not a 90 days but still is a great number. I'm still in the flatline zone, but things are better. I have more motivation to do things then yesterday. Also I need to to focus more on the reboot and not stress myself with work, since the reboot itself is pretty stressful thing todo. It's like being ill and do a heavy lifting at the same time it will get you into trouble.
Day 10 no PMO. Tomorrow I turn 45. I’ve got a beautiful wife, two awesome kids and a great job. I have plenty to be grateful for. Let’s all focus on the good and make it a good day.