Wondering What I Should Do (23 Y.O. Virgin)

The nature has its own way to unfold lives, so I would say if you don't feel like rushing, you can just keep waiting until you do, or you meet someone suits you by chance or so. It sounds perfectly fine to me even if one doesn't get married at all, as long as your parents are okay with it.

In addition, this is a really great mindset. In my opinion, this is what sex is supposed to be. We should not do it for "fun". We need to save our sexual energy on things like our health and that of our children (healthier sperms means healthier kids), instead of wasting it here and there for brief moments of pleasure. We are men and we have responsibilities to take, especially when it comes to marriage.

You may see it as a trial before marriage. If you can go NoFap for a long time while you are single, you gain control of yourself. Only after that, you can control yourself while having sex with your partner, doing it in moderation.

Hope that helps!

 

I'm in a very similar situation in almost every way, except I'm 30 and not in Hawaii. I just got a new job I'm excited about!
But then it left me feeling painfully lonely returning at small group tonight when all but me and two others went around the circle excitedly proclaiming the details of how they met their spouse/boyfriend/ girlfriend. I've started to hate hearing couples talk about how they met. They're so oblivious

 

I think you should wait at least till 150 days as its an average finish mark of this addiction, it may be more or less for you and then you can start your relationship as I have read many articles telling that the chaser effect due to those acts with their gf made their challenge of p harder to leave. So basically, to walk on a safer side, I will suggest not to hurry until you hit 150+ days in your streak and you experience that you are not getting triggered by those things any more.

 

I hate to tell you this, but actually I don't.

Once you finally have sex, you are going to be severely underwhelmed.

 

What makes you say that?

 

Too many reasons to mention.

But I will say this. I have done 3 full reboots since 2018. All on hard mode. 97, 233 and 194 days each. These are the real thing, no bs.

And I just don't have that euphoric feeling when I M/O anymore. It's only about 10% as good as it used to be. I just don't receive dopamine like before.

 

Ok, but is that when you MO only, or is that when during sex?

 

Both. I haven't had sex since 2019. But it was real sex with a woman.

 

And where did having sex fall on the timeline? Had you completed that 97 days right before hand, had you relapsed for a while, or what?

 

Yes, I did 97 days in 2018. At the end of the reboot, I had sex with a girl that year. Had sex with a different girl the next year. Then in 2020/2021/2022 were when I did the 233 days & 194 days.

 

I got my first girlfriend at 24 years old while still living with my parents and not being entirely financial stable either, although I did have my own car which did make it easier, I'd say just go for it because life is short and you'll regret not trying to go after things more when you're older. I know it sounds cliche but it's true, regret is a rough feeling to swallow when you look back 10-15+ years from now.

 

Gotcha. I mean, my own first time 90 days were a great milestone. I learned and improved a lot (documented on profile somewhere), but I knew very well by the end of it that that I wasn't cured yet. I knew then and I know now my brain hasn't been fully rewired yet but still see gradual improvement.

I don't think that one mediocre experience with someone who's not even your wife is enough reason to make a generalization like that. At the same time, I would maybe agree simply doing no PMO in the hopes of increased sexual euphoria later, that's not likely to get you much improvement.

 

Dude. That wasn't the only woman I ever slept with. Even in the response, I told you about two different women. Before that I was married for over a decade. And there were more before that. So what I am trying to say is don't be so quick and fast to draw conclusions.

 

I'm not

 

That's not a good conclusion to make.

 

Why not? Did you only start consuming pornography after you separated from your wife?

 

No way. I started when I was 15.

 

Ok, that's what I was thinking. So could it be that that affected your sex-life within that marriage?