EX 11 Wondered what my life would have been like if I could get the same amount of dopamine from doing trivial things, or where I'd be if I never watched porn as a kid I used to do that but with pushups, lately I've been real lazy about it but it's solid Try jump rope or jumping jacks instead for the whole body instead of only abs
Hey everyone! Brutal day today with working but thankfully it is over. Grateful for my sobriety still being in tact at the end of all the frustration and that I didnt cave in to that old dark habit that leads to more suffering. Going to watch something in bed, read my book, and go to sleep. Tomorrow can only be better! Stay strong spartans!
Day 60 completed. Two months PMO free! Now a SPARTAN COMMANDER!! Thanks a lot! Just thought I'd update here about the recent events of my life. I am rather surprised at how I am taking it all. There are many triggers but I am able to deal with them calmly or even if agitated, still under control and composed. What I am doing to keep me sane is using every lil break I have from the people to do something I love, say study a bit, make progress on my research project (I am considering any tiny progress also as progress), talk to a friend, language learning, and I even got to play a ukulele at a relative's home (I miss my guitar and it felt happy to play any stringed instrument at all). I wanna remember these lil things that I am doing that make me happy for those 5 mins rather than the triggers that keep coming in. Today I feel a bit nervous anyhow and therefore decided to write here -- its always better to get it off ur chest in a safe space. Sometimes I wonder if I am not rebelling against all these triggers and making things go my way and if thats like I am giving up on something important. But then I also think that these circumstances are pretty bad and me rebelling can deprive me of all energy and life and I can't even have those few mins of joy where I can do the things I love. So then I feel like I am making the right choice by being calm and composed even around triggers and using the lil breaks from them to the best way I can. Being composed should always be better than being triggered. I will keep faith that the lil progress I am making should go a long way. Nothing will turn around in a day. I will have faith that its these lil bits that will take me where I wanna be. And I will accept this nervousness that I feel today, nothing lasts forever, so shall this nervousness. I am so grateful to this community for I can share my mind and feelings with. Thank you and much strength to us all!!
A real warrior perseveres. A real spartan transmutes. A real fighter doesn’t fight anymore because any challenge, obstacle, or problem on his way is just another bump that requires inner physical and most importantly psychological stamina; once you own yourself fighting transforms into real power of taking any kind of outside/inside energy that arises and transforming it into ANYTHING that you want. You have an urge? Great. You sit down on the floor. You close your eyes and you face the turbulent frequency head on. You do nothing to distract yourself from it. You sit there and face whatever comes your way with your heart wide open and your curiosity of the highest level. You go deep with it and you face the dragon. At first, it seems that the beast is the most powerful and prodigious piece of art you’ve ever seen. Don’t you worry, It’s a deception the monster uses. You take a firm stance, pull out your sword and you slay its head. The dragon dies. You open your eyes, ready to tackle a new challenge and next time it comes your way you’re gonna do exactly the same. That’s the real spartan spirit and you know it in your bones.
Self care is an around the clock activity. All of these little things that you are doing to make yourself feel happy will add up and contribute to how you feel on a day to day basis. They in fact will become your new healthy habits. You are such a smart person, I am honored to be going through this challenge with you. I too am learning everyday how to live right and happy. Rock on my freind! And CONGRATS on the new rank. : )
