What do you even do when you like someone?

Dude, you can’t negotiate attraction. She already knows before a word ever comes out of your mouth whether or not you have a shot with her. Just shoot your shot if you want to find out.

 

Also, you are falling prey to the Classic “Oneitis” bluepill mindset that will eventually destroy you. You need to read Rollo Tomassi’s volume 1 of The Rational Male.

 

Yea one thing that a lot of us fall into is waiting for some "certainty" that the person we're interested in is also attracted to us. Most of the time we don't perceive that signal, but a girl that we like could very much still be attracted to us.

I don't even know if it's possible to understand other people to that extent. What I do know is that we've wasted countless opportunities by waiting.

 

Don’t be a oneitis shlub. Be outcome independent and spin plates. Rollo Tomassi’s books saved my life.

 

You can learn from your past experiences. I was in your shoes once. One of the most important things is letting a girl know your intentions within the first times talking to her. If you come to her as a friendly person she will view you as a friend. If you come to her as a bit flirty, she will view you as a potential partner. Of course all girls are different, but let her know where you stand so she doesn't have a thought about friend zoning you.

 

You don’t even know this girl’s personality/character and you “want” her to be your girlfriend. This is how most men get involved with Cluster B women that destroy their life.

 

Ask her on a date. Dinner is the most general one, but I suggest doing something else, especially in college when funds are low but energy and enthusiasm for unique experiences is high.

You should know her well enough to know some things she likes to do. Ask her to do that together. Some really good dates of mine have been to go hiking, to go see Star Wars, and to cuddle, but I didn't just think of these randomly. I went hiking with one girl because she started doing it to lose weight and told me she could bring me down a lesser-known trail, I saw Star Wars with another because we are obsessed with the memes, and I cuddled with another because we were stressed with finals and wanted to relax.

If you don't know anything about her to ask to do something fun, why do you think you like her?

 

Dinner, it's weird to do that he doesn't even know her. I wouldn't want to eat with a woman I don't know without having the option to leave when I want, and let her do the same. It's a couple serious relationship thing. it's going to put pressure on her. The expectations will be huge.

Even weirder!

@FaithWithGod
You're taking things too seriously. Tell her you've liked her for a while, keep it cool and tell her you'll buy her a drink if she's motivated and that's it.

Finding an original date is the worst way to mess up a date and do weird, uncalibrated things. Go out for drinks with the women you like. It's much classier and more natural

 

??? Dinner is a very normal thing to do on a first-third date. Either of you can leave whenever you want. You don't need to make her a 4 course meal, you can like get take out or make something fun with each other.

The girls that I watched Star Wars with and had a cuddle date with both had sex with me plenty of times so just take that into consideration.

@FaithWithGod I can see you're from a different part of the world from me, but adult men telling women they "like them" before asking to go on a first date, even when they're young adults, screams immaturity and lack of experience. I did this a few times when I was 19 because I had literally no experience and it's pretty cringe. If you ask her on a date, that's you expressing that you like her, you don't need to say it.

 

It's just weird I'm never going to spend that much money on a woman I don't know. Having a drink doesn't involve anything like going to a restaurant with her, especially on a first date. It puts pressure on the girl.
If you ask a woman to go for a drink but you never talk to her in a flirty way usually, she is more likely to not understand and see you as a guy who does not assume his desire

I've been on over a hundred dates and I'm 25 I think I know what I'm talking about and understand social dynamics better then most guys. It’s not to brag or anything, it’s just a fact!

Not really, you can have a drink with friends. Having a drink with someone does not necessarily express a romantic/sexual interest behind it.

A woman will never resent you for expressing interest. It's manly and sexy. It's because of this mindset of not assuming that we live in a world where guys have lost their balls.

Of course expressing your interest every time is stupid. It's a constant adaptation to the girl in front of you. But not saying things and hiding what you feel, you can be sure that you will live with regrets

 

Dinner on the first date with a woman you don’t know?! Some o you guys are asking to be used as a Foodie Call. Smh

 

Idk what the economic situation is like where you are but I've split the bill on like 80% of the first dates I've been on. Don't wanna spend money? Don't!

That makes no sense. If a woman that I'm not good friends with invites me to any activity where we don't know anyone else, I'm 100% assuming she has romantic/sexual intentions. I would never invite a woman to a similar activity if I did not want to form a romantic relationship.

I really don't want to start a fight but let's think about your strategy and results.

You've been on 100 dates, what was the end result? After how many did you continue dating? How many led to long term relationships? Did any of the relationships lead to a bf/gf situation? Are you fulfilled by going on these dates?

This is not an ad hominem attack.

Would you take marriage advice from a man or woman who has been married 10 times? Would you take porn recovery advice from a guy who has done twelve 30 day streaks over the past year? Would you take business advice from a guy who has started and shut down 20 businesses and no change in lifestyle?

True. I get drinks with my female friends. I have a couple that I get drunk and talk with to blow off steam since we've been buddies a long time.

But those are like my close friends. I think of them the same way I think of my close male friends.

I'd never ask a woman I'm not very good friends with to get drinks alone without sexual intentions. I have a gf, and if I told her I got drinks alone a woman I'm not good friends with, she would be livid, and likewise if she did that with a man she's not good friends with.

I'm not saying you shouldn't express interest in women. Definitely don't do that.

In the environment I'm in, it is just unattractive to say "hey I like you". It sounds like you're 10 talking to a girl in your elementary school. You gotta imply it, in really easy ways.

Asking her out is the easiest way to show you are interested. If she's interested, she'll say yes. If not, too bad. You can do what you can to try and seem interesting and fun, but asking her out is necessary.

Then take her out somewhere cheap or fucking split it lmao.

 

I never spit the bill. If I ask someone out I pay especially on the first date. In the next ones, it is often her who pays. This is not a professional appointment ahah

I don't know what the problem is to express to someone that you like them. Just last Saturday I was playing a game with some friends, one of whom was a woman I didn't know, and I was asked the question "who would you like to sleep with in this room? I answered this girl by pointing at her and laughing. She liked it and told me it was mutual in the evening so yeah.

I have often told women that I like them and it has never handicapped me in my relationships, on the contrary women find it cute and brave when it is done with tact.

What I mean by that is that you don't have to tell a woman you like her, but you have to know how to do it otherwise you will miss opportunities. It's having the choice between doing it and not doing it that makes you free in your relationships.
Not getting stuck on one way of doing things.

Hey man it's cool I'm not mad and I don't like ego fights. My posts may just sound crude because I write like this but it's all good!

This is somewhat private but I've only been in a relationship once in my life. I love to meet women and date. Building something serious especially at 25 years old is not important to me. I have all the time in the world to do that in the next 10 years.
I am fulfilled by dating women I like yes, and by understanding relationships and becoming a better person over the years. That's what keeps me going.

Again it depends on how it's done and if it's calibrated. But denying yourself the opportunity to express your interest clearly in a woman is not, in my opinion, a healthy way to grow as a man.

I understand what you're saying, it can be weird and you can be cringe. What you don't seem to understand is that expressing your interest in the best way possible is something that can be learned, and that makes you grow a lot. It’s not just « hey I like you ». Yes it implies failing and at some point making mistakes but that's how you learn. You can't live with that fear of expressing yourself fully forever.
I've been doing this for 5 years and I can't tell you how free I feel to tell a woman I like her without coming across as weird or needy.
And since I know how to do it I don't do it all the time. It depends on the girl in front of you. Some women like men who are assertive. Others have fears and you have to be more subtle. But if you're stuck on one way of doing things you'll miss out on some very nice relationships.

 

Personally I am very against asking out people in my friend group, especially girls I am actually buddies with, which it sounds like you are. I've had plenty of close friendships with girls my age, but I've never had problems finding girls outside my friend group to date, so instead I stay good friends with those girls so I don't risk losing the friendship. I'm young so I don't know how this dynamic will play out in the future, but I'm very happy with how things are going now with my girlfriend outside my friend group. If things go bad I'm afraid of fucking up my friend group and I don't like to risk that.

That is just my bias: I don't date girls in my social groups. I make it extremely clear so none even try.

I do think though that if the only girls you're interested in are in your friend group, you gotta find ways to meet more people. There's always a few couples in friend groups, but most others gotta look for outsiders, build that skill when you're young in case you need it later in life.

 

Lmao how'd it girl with the girl who said she'd sleep with you

Idk it might just be my porn brain but I hate getting "teased". I like doing fun dates too but I would be reconsidering my strategies if I had been on that many dates and only one of them led to a relationship. And by relationship I don't just mean bf/gf, I would consider anything past kissing a relationship.

Ok I think I was thinking literally because nowadays I would not tell a girl "hey I like you", but I always say shit like they're really pretty, something they do is really cool, I had a really good time with her, etc. I try to insert myself into to, instead of saying "You look really good tonight" I'll say "I think you look really good tonight".

I don't say the literal words "I like you", but I do say other literal things haha. One of my favorites is if a second or third date is going well and it seems like the moment is right I'll say "Do you want to make out, because I would like too". They always laugh awkwardly but my success rate is 100% lmao.

 

what if you dont drink at all? Then what is a good date idea if not getting a meal?

 

so how DO you tell a woman you like her in a subtle way?