[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Day 48!

 

15 days

 

Day 3

 

263 days

 

Damn thats a big number. Well deserved <3

 

Day 3: Just going thru the emotions of dopamine withdrawals (irritibility, insomnia, 'something-I-must-do' feelings) lately. These will pass, as they always do. Porn has trying to get me back into bed with it, but my Plan of Success is working well.

I have a major childhood crush on Emma Bunton (Baby Spice from the Spice Girls), but in my image search engine searching for her pictures online, I am finding is a trigger into my addiction again, so I have decided to give that up. And this also includes giving up on looking at girls on Facebook. This will be done by no longer scrolling in Facebook, just going there to check my notifications and meesages, then I'm off. So, all in all, I will give up searching for "electronic women" (women in pictures online). If a picture of an attractive girl appears in my browser (as it does sometimes) all I have to do is scroll past, and this is sticking to my Plan of Success!

Was tempted very much by the IDEA of looking pornography this morning after my wife left for work, stuck to my Plan to wrestle these destructive ideas into submission. This proves that my Plan of Success is working! I am very proud of myself for sticking with the Plan, regardless of how strong my emotions were telling me to pull up some porn.

I think overall, my Plan of Success is very strong, it is covering all the little holes that this addiction takes advantage of. I am beginning to feel the POWER of being FREE from this disease. And it feels better than anything I could ever imagine <3

 

253 days

 

Days 11/365

No Entertainments,
No Music(Spotify)--Days 1/90
No Videos(Youtube,Movies)--Days 1/90
No materialism,
No Car/No Bike search on the internet Days--1/90
I don't need though,only my mind telling me, so control your your ShitMind.
Enjoy your free time outside of the Internet.

 

Day 49!

 

264 days

 

Day 4: Feeling like there is so much to write about, sitting here in front of my laptop with a cup of coffee, ready to write it all out. So where do I start? So just over 3 days ago I relapsed. Tricked again mentally by porn that, "looking at porn is okay". It sounds dumb, right? Falling for it, god damn it! But it's okay! I rethought out my Plan of Success, added a few things, moved a few things around. And now this Plan of Success is being memorized by myself, everyday, so that when the idea of pornography comes into my mind saying stupid shit like, "It's okay to look at porn", I am READY!!!

My Plan of Success starts with:
I am a non-user and I will never ever abandon my Plan. Not now, not ever, for there is nothing more rewarding in life than remaining free of this addiction! This means that I will never ever look at pornography ever again. PERIOD.

I don't know about you, but damn that's some powerful shit. The mental affirmation that: I don't use porn, I will never abandon my Plan of Success for anything, that freedom from this addiction is the be-all-end-all in my life, and that I will never look at porn again? I'm not sure there is any holes or weaknesses in such a powerful paragraph of words.

Yet, it has taken me 10 years to get to this stage, to learn about not only myself but about how this addiction works within me to control, manipulate then finally abandon me with nothing but regret, anger and sadness within. I have been on this journey to learn how to literally ANNIHILATE this evil within me, to see it for what it truly is and what its true intentions are. I thank my wife for helping me along this journey, I literally could not have done it without her love and patience with me during this time.

So all in all, what am I trying to say? Finding and maintaining my way out of pornography addiction hasn't been easy, but with a Plan of Success to guide me along day in day out, it has given me a greater happiness than I ever thought possible. And I think that's the way with this disease, it's that you don't realise how amazing things are until you truly exit out of the prison that is pornography. You think it's gonna be great when you are free, and these things keep you motivated when your weak etc. But when you really realise that you are free and you can see and feel that porn is non-existent in yourself and in your life, this blissful feeling of jubilant happiness is better than anything you can imagine. And that's just facts.

 

Day 50!

 

265 days

 

Days 13/365

No Entertainments,
No Music(Spotify)--Days 2/90
No Videos(Youtube,Movies)--Days 2/90
No materialism,
No Car/No Bike search on the internet Days--2/90
I don't need though,only my mind telling me, so control your your ShitMind.
Enjoy your free time outside of the Internet.

 

Day 51!

 

266 days

 

Days 14/365

No Entertainments,
No Music(Spotify)--Days 3/90
No Videos(Youtube,Movies)--Days 3/90
No materialism,
No Car/No Bike search on the internet Days--3/90
I don't need though,only my mind telling me, so control your your ShitMind.
Enjoy your free time outside of the Internet.

 

Days 254/255/256

 

I deleted all my favorite women's songs and removed all my women I followed on Twitter and Youtube.

 

day 117