Delete your account and never come back on this forum!

Unfortunately the way the various addiction recovery programs and resources identify with the problem, and if they didn't people probably wouldn't look at it in the first place. At a certain point I think people will recognize the value of looking at the solution, which is probably going to be more than one thing.

Aside from talking about it though the bigger issue is how we frame it. And even outside of the content of the communication there's the other layer of general internet addiction which is not necessarily talked about that much, but we may be engaged in the behavior together. That one becomes invisible that way and very few people will have the perspective that's just one aspect of media in terms of how our interaction is mediated. (when was the last time you interacted without the communication being mediated by a common language like English?)

 

This site is great for finding groups and communities. But many of the general forums are either toxic or pessimistic and negative. I see too much complaining about not getting benefits, failing NoFap, talking about relapsing, etc. Why is there a "Relapse Report" section. Just include that in a journal. We don't need a section just for people suffering from this addiction. I like to only stick to uplifting sections, sometimes this one, and my journal.

Overall, the NoFap.com and r/Nofap "mainstream" freaking sucks. Nothing original or helpful comes out of looking at relapse reports and people vowing they will never watch porn again. Cuz they always do.

 

Geez loueez. Give people a break. They are just looking for a place to share their problems. There may be no other place for some guys. If you don't like it here. Just leave. No need to spray your shite over others, who are just trying to find ways to recover.

 

OP says to delete your account, fails to delete his own. Man, if you don't want support that's fine but don't take it out on other people when things don't go your way. This post isn't worth the time reading.

 

L take. I've tried that a few times myself actually over the years (this is not my first account here) and without this forum I always end up relapsing and going back to regular PMO. This forum helps to keep me together, because it is a constant reminder to me that I am on nofap, which keeps me disciplined and focused. But without this forum I stop thinking of nofap every day, and only thing that's left then is porn; I don't need a reminder to think of porn or how worthless piece of shit I am, these thoughts are the default ones that I wake up every day with—nofap is the only thing that distracts me from not thinking them, by making me focus on something positive instead.

Well, personally I have made couple relapse report threads in that section. The reason why I like that section is that I am ashamed to admit my failures, and posting relapse in the journal is an coward's way out, because chances are nobody will see it, or only few people will, so you will not get much "punishment" for failing. But if you make a new thread in the forums it's kind of like putting your shame and weakness on a billboard for everyone to see. And that motivates me to not relapse again, because I don't want to admit my shame and weakness publicly. And when I do it's a way how to take responsibility for my failure publicly, which is motivating to not repeat it, rather than hide it away somewhere in a private journal where nobody can see it. That's just me though, other people maybe use that section for different reasons, I don't know.

 

I read your last ever post. Good luck with your life. Bye...

 

Based on my own experience, I can understand the original poster's point of view. I'm not perfect about conquering my porn addiction, but I am a lot better then I was just 1-2 years ago. When I first joined NoFap, I would come to the boards and read messages and reply to them, but afterwards I would go watch porn. Was the NoFap the trigger to watch porn? No not at all, I was a porn addict but being here got me thinking about porn and I would go back and watch. I'm not blaming the NoFap site but I can see where the poster is coming from. It took some time and of course being a porn addict, I would make every excuse to watch porn, but I found that I can use this site as a tool, first thing in the morning to look at some posts and it helps me to remind myself to remain strong and continue to improve to conquer my porn addiction.

 

I was thinking about this for a while as well. It’s like each time we sign on we are remember and it goes into our mind set, of course to remind us that we have a problem. I see allot of people coming back to sign on and I just see distress and less motivated in life. I’m not blaming nofap for this, but it’s also a mind control factor in recovering.

Like we can read people who are in distressed in negative vibes but we can help or we can only focus on the success stories and raise our positivity, all in all it’s our choice. The site may play a part but on us it’s the choice.

 

I think all this tends to depend on how you use the site and levels of maturity. There is a saying in recovery "take what works and leave the rest". And to rehash a Ghandi quote "be the change you want to see on the site". In addiction you have the problem and the solution, people need to talk about the problem and read about the problem to identify, to say oh yeah me too. The issue can be people get stuck on the problem and don't move towards the solution. I get what you are saying OP that staying away from the site and getting lost in life can be a good thing, but you had to spend a lot of time on the site to be in that position. So remember that everyone is on a different stage of their journey. There is a high probability that people need this site very much and can hopefully get to the position you are now in, not needing the site any more. Try to be mindful of the new guy, we were all that person at some stage.

 

Yeah but a ton of people make a ton of threads claiming they'll do better next time. Then they get in a habit of doing that. Creating a relapse thread probably "motivates" you to try again which gets you in a better mood right after losing your streak. Then you get accustomed to it. Like seriously, in the past I used to get and fall to urges because I know I can just create another post afterwards, promising I'll do better next time. "This streaks over. I might as well end it right here and make a fresh start."

However the same shit happens in regular journals, too. So maybe my main problem is just with the day counter.

 

Maybe it's a case of do as I say not as I do I've deleted my account about two times but I always come back. So I've decided to not delete it again since I'll probably end up coming back again. I'm not on here every day, I come on when I feel like I need to.

 

I've deleted my account 3 times (I lost count/couldn't be bothered remembering) that I remember. I guess it makes sense when you put it that way.. I haven't told anyone else to delete their account though, and that's the point.. It's a decision for the individual I suppose and I've been there and done that. Better off keeping it in my personal opinion and just coming back when you need it -- if you remember your username that is.

 

I view NoFap as a sort of medication for my PMO addiction. When I visit the site, check in regularly, and read or respond to a post or two, then I am keeping my awareness up, and tend not to relapse. Reading rebooting articles and rebooting discussions can be like a firewall against PMO

 

I hear the OP, and I hear the rebuttals. Most have a fair point, if not more. I think a lot of it comes down to “different strokes for different folks,” but there is one very relevant idea floated by the OP. The point of all this is to quit porn, but the community here can be detrimental, can even enable your addiction. That’s a problem.

I have a great counter right now but trust me, I can get stuck in a cycle. I’ve been at this for a long time. Of course I was an addict for a long time, but even if we only count my latest “campaign,” I’ve been actively quitting porn for at least two years. I feel like I know how to quit porn, but last year I thought I knew and I was still caught in a cycle, couldn’t seem to get any traction. It’s like, 95% of the day I had one values system, one set of priorities, and the other 5% I’d go insane and just didn’t care. Even when I was doing everything “right.” So I get it, how frustrating it is, so I understand how this is going to sound, but I have to say it.

At some point, you have to wonder if you really want to quit porn.

The problem I see most frequently breaks down into simple cost/reward ratios. Guys come in here thinking the cost is a little discomfort, like lifting weights or running a mile, and the rewards are going to be so-called “superpowers,” and women crawling all over them like an Axe Body Spray commercial from 2005. When the costs start coming from places they don’t expect, and are higher than they anticipated, and when those extreme benefits fail to materialize right away (or ever), quitting porn is simply deemed not worth it. That’s fair. Maybe those guys will be back when their addiction escalates and their mental health erodes, or maybe not. Maybe they’ll be fine. Or maybe not. What I don’t understand, even in myself, is why some guys hang around here, allegedly trying to quit porn, but never succeeding and never change their approach.

I would have never copped to it, but is it possible some guys feel like it’s okay to use porn because they feel bad about it? Like if they self-flagellate in the public square, announce their shame, that it at least partly makes up for the fact that they did it in the first place? Another possible trap is, thinking it’s okay because you’re trying to quit, as evidenced by the fact that you’re on NoFap in the first place. You’re here, posting in your journal, chatting about how evil porn is, encouraging others, hanging out with like-minded people… what more do they want? You’re paying your dues, porn should just, I don’t know, go away, probably, if you just keep doing this.

Or maybe you’re trying the same thing, expecting different results.

With that in mind, maybe @Alcatel1312’s suggestion is exactly what you need. Get away from here. Stop thinking about the addiction and focus on filling your time and your brain and your life with worthy pursuits. Try that. If it doesn’t work you can always come back, but seriously, how long can you sit in this ditch, spinning your wheels, before you try something different besides gunning your engine? Maybe it’s going to cost more, maybe it’s going to cost something different, but you know you’re going to experience the same thing if you keep trying the same thing. For me, it cost the idea that I should even be having sex in the first place. I know for a lot of guys, the founder of NoFap included, having sex is the entire point. Porn was stealing my will to live, though, and giving up sex is worth it.

At risk of making this post too long, but because it has to be said as many places and as many ways as possible; you have to figure out why you even want to use porn, and replace what it does for you. I know, it feels good, but all kinds of things feel good and you don’t get addicted to them. Is it dopamine, is that part of it? Then find a better source of dopamine. Does it give you a sense of control? Build an ant farm instead. I’m serious! You probably have no idea why you do porn, it’s just a thing you fell into and you can’t get out. Figure out why, what it does for you, and find something better to replace it. If any hard-core guys, or SOs are out there thinking “porn doesn’t do anything good for you,” you’re wrong. Why would we do it if only bad things happened as a result? How many of us are addicted to licking razors? How many of us mix bleach with our water, or smoke poison ivy instead of weed or tobacco? Yeah, you might think, but I have a humiliation/sissy/cuck fetish, you might think, what good does that do me? Well that’s a good question! It’s worth asking, it’s worth finding the answer! Ask more questions about it; does it have to be a woman humiliating you? What exact conditions need to be there for you to get hard over it? When do you want it most? Figure it out. Find the truth. Replace whatever you’re getting out of it with something better.

 

I think it’s worth noting, when I made that post above I had 192 days. Five days later I screwed up, and it took almost three months to pull myself back together.

Make what you will of that.

 

Go full offline then

 

that including the crap about religion imagine trying to reduce the amount of private fapping and listening to that crap

 

I think this site can be a great tool if you use it in wise way. But if you abstain from pmo and come here to read the reboot reports and trigger warnings then you are only looking for ways to get back to old habits (if you are not mature enough). I like nofap and you can certainly find good people here willing to share good strategies for keeping this under control. If you are detailed enough writting statistics for your own sake on a monthly/yearly basis, you can actually see if it works or not, and what can be improved. But in the end, just like everything, the decision lies in person.

 

Ever

Everyone has a different program. For me this site is great, but I agree if you are only focused on being a P addict, then that is not healthy. The focus should be on ways to improve your life.
Good luck to all and there is not one solution to fit all, it's different for each of us.