The solution to your problem is simple: become a “chad” Spend a lot of time working on your physique, eating healthy, making your appearance the best it can be. Maybe join a boxing gym if you really want to take it to the next level. Also, try and get a better job than the one you currently have right now. If already make a lot of money, then disregard this step. Also, dress nice wherever you go. Collared shirt, nice pants or jeans, nice shoes, well groomed There seems to exist in this world a “prototype male”, one who displays the above characteristics. If you match the above stated traits, and put yourself in social environments, you will get a girl
There is no feelings or reason to analyze your situation. However, in my opinion, you must also believe in a higher power, I am Catholic/Christian, so I am biased, but I must state that so I am being honest with you. You must exercise willpower, even when you brain is making you feel depressed. Do the above mentioned activities, even if you don’t want to, and you will slowly change, and eventually, with enough willpower and some grace from God, you will get one of those girls you want
Maybe in time, the girl you want will be different to the girl you want now. Maybe in 10 years, you'll be glad you didn't get the girl you want now. Nowadays I care more about having a woman who treats me well and someone I can connect with. I'm less and less bothered about how they look. Don't get me wrong, I would need to find her somewhat attractive but she doesn't have to be perfect in the looks department. I could be wrong but reading your posts it seems like you're on a quest for some sort of paradise where you feel great all the time. Thing is that sort of place doesn't exist. Life has good but also bad moments and it's best to accept that. No matter what you do you won't feel great all the time.
The thing I hate to mention is that any guy can get a girl. It just takes trying again and again. Even when a guy is a loser, still he ends up getting a girl because of persistence. You all know this is a fact. And you are probably mad about it because you've watched these total losers get girls, right? All the life improvement stuff is good, it's important and I think it is a better long-term strategy. But you can still get a girl anyway.
Well that's the point any guy can get a girl but for example post owner (and myself aswell) seems to cannot and believe me it's a burden that is hard to explain to yourself. I don't say it to deny your claim because you are correct, but to point out where the issue is or may be, persistence (well used word not even courageous act or being confident just simple stubborness). It's funny when it's so simple that it's so difficult, but to achieve your goal you have to "play" and keep going.
I feel you brother, I had the same, but I was 24 years old. What I did wrong was believing that I was ugly and not worth it to have a girl and that I would be happy to settle with a 2 out of 10. It was all the mindset for me, sobbing at home feeling worthless and just hoping to have a girl bump into me and give me her number. Well that was dumb... haha. All I realized was that it was all about how I viewed myself as a man. Like playing videogames, not having something of a focus or hobby in life, eating shitty foods, not going to the gym regularly, not having the balls to actually approach a girl etc. Those things just eat away your confidence and accompany that with negative self-talk, holy fuck ofcourse no chick is gonna like me. After 300+ hours of self-improvement videos etc I started daygaming, learning game, working out, dressing nicer etc. And now I'm living my dream with 19 girlfriends that suck my dick everyda.... no that's actually a lie lol. But I do have a nice girlfriend now who totally sees me as a strong charismatic guy even though I used to be this fragile pussy who couldn't even look his own mom straight in the eye.
Yeah, I know. And you probably realize that what I was trying to say was that if you keep trying and trying, you can get, without any life improvement, "a girl". I didn't say it was going to be a hot girl, a smart girl or a woman of value. Also, I said after many, many rejections, not an overnight process. I guess it's a trade off. If you go after a girl without life improvement, you get something, but it's not great. Or invest in your life, money and fitness, and suffer for a while. Then you have better options. Because in either case, you don't have to feel desperate or lonely. There are always a way to get a girl.
Don't get in your head about that. Just get focused on succeeding. The woman thing will happen later with no effort.
Agreed, focus on succeeding is important and these things shouldn't be a focus. However, it's not easy to get this out of your head. Even if you succeed at becoming stronger, getting a nicer appearance, better job etc... you will still feel like a bum for never having success with women. I therefore really encourage people to work on themselves WHILST learning game. Watch youtube videos about pick-up and what females are into etc. And take action ASAP. Nothing wrong with learning to approach women, even though you might be fucking shit at it and nervous as fuck. The fact you are attempting it, will give you so much pride for yourself, that this will give lots of individuals a lot of confidence to work harder on themselves. Even when you just go outside to just give 3 random girls a little compliment and not expect a phone number or result or whatever, just a cute smile and a 'thank you' will already brighten up your day. I was a fucking bum bro when I started approaching. But by listening to experienced people and learning how to have a good conversation and have banter with random women, I actually had success whilst being a bum lol. So anyone can do it, as long as they keep trying and not giving up
What they don’t tell you about traditional dating is that it’s almost impossible to get a girlfriend, if you don’t have any friends in real life.
I think the biggest problem you have is the lack of friends. Communication is the foundation for any successful relationship. The best way to achieve this is through friendships and socializing.
You don't need to learn game if you improve your life enough. Whatever game you don't do, if you fill it with success instead, women make up the rest of it. Because they are motivated to be with a man of value.
Make women a low priority in your life, you will be better off. Our society teaches the complete opposite which is being a Simpanzee.
just stumbled upon this thread and i feel the same thing. 27, never been in no relationship whatsoever and dating apps just make me feel like ugly/worthless shit. i want to be worth something, not somebody who only gets 1 or 2 likes by women i am not attracted to whatsoever on tinder. i dont know if its masturbating or the fact that i never get a single good night sleep without always waking up in the middle night, but im 12 days and i am still too scared to just cold approach women. im depressed im not making any progress whatsoever. dont have no license, but have a car thankfully that needs to be fixed. have a job, my own place, but nothing, i don’t get zero attention from no girl when i go out. days where i feel suicidal. having social anxiety along with 0 confidence to approach women sucks and i would never wish it on my worst enemy. i believe my social anxiety is caused by getting abused when i was younger so i dont think nofap will fix it at all. i could be wrong though.
For things like suicidal thoughts and healing past abuse, I would definitely recommend seeking help with a loved one or professional. NoFap has many benefits, and less social anxiety is common, but it probably won't undo past trauma. In fact, it may bring your attention to certain issues more, as you don't use porn to numb yourself. There's plenty going for you from an outsider's perspective. You have a job and your own place, a car, that's more than many can say. And if that's you in the pic, you have good looks going for you for sure. Speaking of looks, the Tinder game is rigged from the start, it's not just people being picky, but the algorithm giving guys less matches so they pay more for premium accounts. Good old supply and demand, and it really doesn't 'match' the real world at all. When a tall good looking guy only matches with overweight single moms (the norm now), you know it's whack! And cold approaching feels unnatural when we're not feeling good with ourselves. It won't be easy or quick, but I would say addressing your past abuse through counselling or any method that you find works would be first priority. Facing down your 'demons' slowly gives you the confidence and self esteem that's fuel for cold approaches.
regarding abuse and trama, its a theory. i think i was too young for it to have a effect on me. my dad that hit me died when i was just 11, so i wasn’t even a teenager yet. and all that talk about suicide and shit, i just say that when i have a bad day so im not even serious about that. people who commit suicide do it, they dont announce it on forums. and that’s not just tinder, it’s every single dating app i been to provides me with the same result i dont want to sound like a ass when i say this but “women who dont get any dick at all in real life swipe on me” usual bisexuals or trans. but i seen plenty of youtubers who women consider good looking get 100s of likes and its no joke. so clearly they dont get any of the matches i get. whether thats all fake for views, its up for debate. i dont see any comments indicating so. though in theory it does make sense what you are saying about it being rigged, if someone actually found somebody on there within the first week of using it they would be losing out on customers. and i put 100s of dollars alone just on their ridiculous monthly fees. if thats true thats sick and these app developers should be in prison.
Modern women view Men with extreme contempt. Don't live in Blackpill thinking you're losing out on anything. Take care of yourself first and put yourself first.
