Who said anything about lying? I say, don't tell lies! All I'm trying to suggest is that if you happen to be talking to a sweet baby, don't be afraid to move in there, get close and start some touching. You can be sweet to her, interested in her, but you need to add the touch in, or she's going to friend zone you. If I start to move in like that and she gets weird about it or backs off, then I know I was headed into the friend zone anyway. That is good to know. I can end the interaction and move on!
No approaches today. Been at home doing nothing. I think I have a fever. I did hang out with a friend at school today. I have classes with her but I have known her for 13 years. I told her I feel sick and are going home. She told me she was also feeling sick and we walked home. She lives a few hundred meters from me. It feels good to at least have a few friends. I have around 10 friends, all female. A girl I was dating earlier told me that is a red flag. I have a hard time connecting with men. I need male friends as well. They offer a completely different perspective on things. I am going to a concert tomorrow. I hope I am healthy by then. My objective is to talk with 16 women during the night. According to my friend Mystery, I am screwing up if I dont talk to enough people. If I shoot my shot once a year, I get no women. If I shoot my shot 12 times a day, 4 days a week then I am a few weeks away from getting laid. And I wont lie. I am doing this challenge to expand my social life but my sex life has been shit for a while so I am doing it to get laid.
Mystery. Guy gives me the creeps. I think if he came over, some of my stuff would be missing. Listen man, I think your problem is you need to find yourself. You are looking to people to solve it. What these people do is sense neediness, and that makes it worse. The other problem with that is they are just going to tell you what you want to hear, and that isn't going to help. You need to become the fullness of yourself, based on what you want to accomplish. I tell you this because you have a brain. Your problem isn't people and it isn't even loneliness. You need to get more alone so that you can find who you are, what are your goals, what you want to be. Being on your own and contemplating who you are, over time is like setting yourself in concrete. You can set goals and achieve them. When you chase after people, all you get is confusion, wasted time and drama. It distorts your thinking. Well, my best. I shouldn't have written all this, but it's my attempt to help. If it doesn't help you, then find it somewhere else. But I believe that all roads lead back to Rome, my friend...
I appreciate your concern but I think I am doing quite well. I have a habit tracker where I track my daily routines. I meditate twice a day and read a lot of books. I hit the gym 5 times a week etc. I am lacking in my personal relationships. I have a couple of friends but not anyone I consider really close. Improving my social life is a priority. It is up there with succeeding in Nofap, with my business, my spiritual life and working out so that I can achieve a body I can be proud of. Mystery isnt someone you would turn to for general life advice or a discussion about ethics. But he understands women and social dynamics. In a way, everyone is out there playing a role play. They take on different personas. Mystery doesnt know it all but he has some good insights. Most of his material actually works. It would be a bad idea to copy his routines directly but if you understand the principles behind it, you can make a system that fits you and your personality. The first step for me is to just become a good conversationalist. I will practice at least 16 hours a week. Lets see how it goes
30/1000 on my phone so the formating is a little off. Went out yesterday to a fraternity party. There was only dudes at the preparty. It felt unusual at first but the music wasnt too loud and talking was easy. I opened up pretty much everyone (around 40 guys). Some of the cooler guys totally digged me and soon I was the most popular guy there. It helped in lifting my social status a little at the club. I picked up a girl while standing in line. I would have got away with making out probably but I stopped escalating and let her go. The rest of the night was mostly crashing and burning. I made a ton of approaches but most of them were just a few words and then nothing. At least now I understand that it is a bad strategy. Crashing and burning can be a good thing in the grand scheme of things. As long as I find a way to improve my game 1% for each night out, it will compound fast. I made maybe 100 approaches but it wont be fair to count all. I was faced with the bitch shield a few times. I havent really thought much about ways around it. A couple approaches went reasonably well but I didnt close any. A guy broke my arm towards the end of the night and I am in hospital. You wont guess it: This juiced up dude looking like popeye absolutely crushed me in hand wrestling. I havent lost a match in years but breaking my arm is a first. Surgery tomorrow.
This is a very interesting challenge, let's see if i can make 30 approaches before the end of the year, i met a girl during a commute yesterday, she looked pretty cool, i got her digits, we're in the talking stage, i'll really like to see her again, have been thinking about my interaction with her all day, i think its because i haven't talked to girls in a while and my brain seeing that i actually talked to one is going crazy, that's why am taking this challenge i felt something i haven't felt in a long time, i believe what most of us are misinterpreting as porn addiction is actually an attraction to the opposite sex in a way that isn't natural, we are all sexual beings, i know nothing about the opposite sex, which is sad considering it's just the two of us on this planet, i want to experience love, not with a screen but from an actual living breathing human being, i think this challenge will help with that, my goal is to be able to naturally interact with a woman and not being needy, just a normal interaction between two species, i'll use this thread to keep myself accountable, if anyone still reads this, i'll like to have someone to do this with, it'll be more fun and more accountable
It's been a while since my last update. I had dates with 7 new girls in the meantime, but none of them panned out. In the beginning of September I did a daygame session in Luxembourg. I had an instant date with a Portuguese girl who just arrived in the country. She asked me my name pretty fast so I took her on an instant date. I set up another date with her previous weekend in a café close to my place. When I sat next to her, I tried to escalate by putting my arm around her. She immediately put her head on my chest, leaning on me. I tried to kiss her but she didn't want it. When we split ways after the date, I tried to kiss her again, but she instead hugged me and she proposed to see each other again during the week. I thought I could try one more date with her to exhaust all possibilites, but when I texted her she said that we could meet but that she only sees this evolving into a friendship. I called it quits. Another date was with a Vietnamese woman of 34 who I approached in the supermarket after work. We had dinner [which was not my plan], I brought her to the café/bar close to my place and then back home but she rejected my kiss attempt. I remember I didn't have patience during the date and found her a bit annoying ultimately. When she didn't even want to kiss I did a "royal flush" by kicking her out. In hindsight, I might have been a bit too harsh. On one Saturday I met up with a French friend in Metz. I did some approaching before I met him and had a short instant date with an Iranian girl, we got a coffee. I'm still texting a bit with her and I have a tenative plan to meet her again whenever I go back to that city, although there is a risk of going there and having another go-nowhere date. Another date was with a girl from Costa Rica who lives in the apartment in front of me. A few months ago I started talking to her when I got back home when she got back home too. I remember she asked me questions but I didn't ask for her number. A month ago I see her again and we talk again. She remembers my name and where I come from. This time I suggest grabbing a drink and taking her number. When I text her, she immediately suggest a drink so a few days later we met in the bar I talked about earlier. Nothing special to mention, when we are at the front of the doors of our apartments, I tried to kiss her, but she declines. Next day she texted me saying that she didn't see that coming and felt that she left in a rush. She said that I shouldn't get lost and stay in touch. I replied something like "Don't worry, a man has to make a move" but I didn't text her again eventually, nor did she reply to that text. Maybe this could have been a lay, but I wasn't that motivated to follow-up. I can try to text her again. I also had a date with a Chinese girl, the day after I approached her. I thought it was on because she replied instantly to my texts and she came all the way to my town by train, but it was another dead end. 2 weeks ago I had a date with a Japanese girl. We went to the same bar close to my place. It felt a bit like I was talking to an "AI girlfriend" in the sense that she was asking me a lot questions in a cute way without giving much input herself, it wasn't necessarily unpleasant. I kissed her in the bar and took her home. But when I tried to escalate she said that she had to go back home, so I dropped her off at her place. She went on vacation last week and I texted her again yesterday, but it seems that it has petered out. My last date was Tuesday with a Spanish girl. A few days before I was on a bus going home after work, but the bus got stuck because of a running event. The girl was also on the bus, and I have seen her a few times before and I always thought she was hot. The bus driver kicked the passengers out eventually. When I leave the bus, the girl is walking the same way as me. I ask her "Is neighborhood X that way?" but this entails no real conversation, as I don't really try to ramble. I feel some regret for not really trying so when we are waiting at the traffic light I say "I suppose it will be a 20 minute walk right? Does this happen a lot in Luxemboug?" and then she immediately asks me how long I have been living here - bingo. We walk together and when we split ways I take her number. We had a date in the bar I usually go. It seemed really on. She had high energy and was touchy, asking me a lot of questions. For a lot of periods I just held eye contact without saying anything, creating tensions. I put my hands on her knees. At the end of the date she was rubbing my hand. When we go outside of the bar I kiss her and she kisses me back really intensively, probably one of the most aggressive French kisses I have encountered in this challenge. I tried to bounce her back to my place but she doesn't want it, saying that she knows what I will try to do. When I ping her to plan something for coming week, I get a very long message as a response, saying that she doesn't think it's a good idea. She said that dating someone younger [I'm 25, she's 30] didn't work out for her before and she doesn't just want something casual etc. I remember she was surprised when I told her my age, as she thought I was older. What if I said I was 27? Would that have been an acceptable age gap? Yesterday I did 10 approaches and got 3 numbers, they all ignored the feeler. In essence, I've been taking some punches of disappointment over the last weeks. Getting my hopes stacked up only to see it die on the vine. But even if nothing seems to go my way, I'm trying to get a hold of the long view and see all the progress I have made over the past months. I had experiences I thought I would never have. Having all these go-nowhere dates is the name of the game and should be accepted stoically as an inevitable outcome, bringing you closer to success. Maybe I had some luck when having a bit of a harem in the beginning of August, which might have given me some hybris where I expect that things now should go my way, which is unrealistic to say the least. After tasting some heights of success, I find myself once again in the familiar cycle of ups and downs... I can't really say how much approaches I did in total, but I think I've written it somewhere. I will update it in due course.
Approaching women is amazing, but this thing of putting the responsibility on oneself every time it doesn't work out is so detrimental. You seem to meet a lot of women from what I read, so yes, with many, nothing happens. That doesn't mean you should change anything. I'm also approaching a lot of women right now, and I have dates that sometimes lead to nothing, but that's quite normal. And that's what makes the dates that lead to a relationship so special. Because they're not guaranteed. This idea of progress is very abstract. I see myself as having made progress, but the people who meet me just see me as someone cool and normal. Women don't think, "I'll sleep with him because he's good." I understand that experiencing repeated rejections can be exhausting. But when approaching women on the street, it's normal to face many rejections. As for dates, you usually talk to women for a few minutes on the street before getting their contact and meeting them again. You see them again without even knowing if they are a good match for you since you've talked to them very little!
respect for you man, you have way more experience on this than i do, but i'll advice you slow it down, maybe 2 dates to kind of vibe with her get to know her if you had things in common, get her to trust you a bit more, then try and get physical
i can relate most girls see me as a good friend, maybe it's because of how i act, because am this carefree funny type of guy, but i also know guys with similar traits as me that are pulling girls
there was this girl i was exchanging glances with for awhile at an event today, she was sitting across me she looked ok, it was crowded and really loud, it would have been awkward to ask for her number there, we did have a brief interaction tho, i walked past her and she happened to be standing up at the same time, she had her bag and stuff on her lap so when she stood up her watch fell, i took it up for her and handed it over and that was it. The girl i got her number the day before yesterday seemed kind of off while we were texting, one second she's replying quickly the next she's taking 30 mins, my chatting approach was first talking and joking about how stressful the commute was and after i asked her what she liked doing in her free time, she said she enjoyes watching korean movies, it went on like that for a while, she even gave me a recommendation for a movie to watch, at the end of it i said i'll like to know more about her, that was yesterday evening, she hasn't replied since then, i also remembered her texting alot in the bus, i don't know if that"s a sign that she's texting multiple guys or just me being in my head, because the chat was actually going on really well and i can't guess a reason for her sudden ghost-mode, am thinking should i text her again but i don't want to look neeedy (you guys get what i mean) or should i just let her go ?
i didn't go out today, i live in a controlling family, where women-men relationship is seen as sort of taboo, they believe just because we are Christians', a good woman that is wife material will magically fall down from the sky, don't get me wrong am a firm believer of the existence of a supreme being i just don't like when people tag God on everything using god as an excuse for their shortcomings, for their fears, i believe this is a major part in me not being able to fluently interact with women, i won't blame them, who am i to judge, i know in their own way they love me and think that it's what's best for me, it just gets frustrating sometimes, well i'll be definitely going out tomorrow, i look forward to it, my number is still at 1/30
talked to 2 girls today, they were short interactions, the first was a person at a hardware store, i think they call them cashiers or someone who stays behind the counter, i knew her a little before, i asked her to remind me what her name was, the second was a playful interaction with a girl i met at my friends place, we joked around slightly, i caught stealing glances at me i think twice, i tried to get her number from my friend tonight, but he told me she's interested in another friend of his, i shouldn't waste my time, that was how today went, i wouldn't count it as a success because both were short but i'll still record it as one, because in both cases i could have simply not talked to both, infact previous me would avoid all sort of conversation that seemed anyhow uncomfortable
I haven't done any approaches the past tow days because i haven't gone out the past 2 days, i might tomorrow, will see what happens
i made a decision today, focusing on only approaching women i think is just too narrow and i find myself thinking about women all the time, i need to learn to connect with both men and women, i'll be adding men also to the list, the rule is they must be total strangers, my friends don't count my friend's friends don't count, that being said the count is now 2/30, i asked a group of men for directions today, one of them replied and pointed the place out to me, when coming back because i had to pass through them again, i wanted to thank them but i got nervous and just went on my way without even looking at them, i didn't like my decision afterwards, a simple "thank you" would have done it
Went out shopping today, made some short jokes with 2 guys in the shop i was in, twas nice and they found it hilarious, had an interaction with my friends too, one of them's girlfriend and some other girl that i talked to the other day, this will be the second time am seeing her, am not gonna add her to the list she already counts as one, i noticed myself vocally stiff today, i had to think of what i wanted to say before i said it, some of the time their wasn't flow at all , it'll get better overtime, also i had normal conversations with shop owners, just the normal buyer seller interaction, i'll only count the interaction with the guys because it was the only one that was sort of out of my comfort zone and not necessarily a conversation i needed to have, so that's 3/30
So, I decided to take another break as I had quite some days for annual leave left and I thought it was the right time after working hard for my job during the past weeks. I find myself in an Eastern European country, again. In 2021, I lived in Albania for 2 months, and I decided to visit it again now. I guess I attribute a great dose of romanticism to this country as I had my initial dating experiences here. The big chunk of the initial 100 cold approaches were done in this place. And I must say it’s nice to be back. But I also find myself falling for a certain hindsight bias where I equate my previous time here with absolute heaven, thus giving me unrealistic expectations that dating is easy here [and thinking that this place is paradise in general]. Sure, I had romantic experiences here, but the fact remains that I had my first follow-up date only after living here for a month. So I did 19 approaches thus far. The biggest difference now is that I’m doing direct street sets, whilst all my previous approaches here used to be indirect, mainly indoors. Reactions have been fine. Some girls hook with the « where are you from? » and are willing to engage in a chat but decline when I go for the number. Maybe 2-3 blow-outs on my inquiry whether they speak English. My first approaches were quite rusty as I didn’t approach for a few weeks. With a few of them, I delivered the compliment but ejected from the conversation when I was running out of gas. I definitely am a bit more prone to making excuses without the shoulder of a wing by my side [not to mention the fact that it can regenerate your state/put you in a social mood], but in the end, I’m not complaining about yesterday’s work. I ended up having one instant date with a nice girl [which ended up being the only number I collected]. We went to a coffeeshop. I inquired a bit on the dating scene in Albania and she says that Albanian guys don’t really approach and that people meet through social circles. At a certain point during the date she touching my wrist. Either way, it doesn’t seem like a strong lead in the end. Maybe I burned it and killed the plausible deniabilty by suggesting to go chill my place when we split our ways. TOTAL 19 approaches 1 number 1 i-date Anyway, I’m planning to move to Montenegro tomorrow. I had some pangs of doubts yesterday after reading Kowe’s entries on Montenegro saying that Podgorica is a bit of a ghost town, but staying in Tirana for the whole week just to do daygame isn’t THAT appealing honestly, especially because I’m here alone. I also want to discover a new country ultimately.
Some updates… Yesterday I did 17 approaches in Albania. I didn’t get a single contact detail from that. A lot of girls asked me « do you need help? » after I gave them the compliment. At a certain point I decided to switch gears and go indirect like the good ol’ days. I stop a girl and ask her for coffee shop recommendations, but it doesn’t go anywhere beyond that. I also recall that I used to meet a lot of girls here in coffeeshops 2 years ago so I go to one and get a juice. I see a girl who is sitting at a table alone and when I leave I open with « do you know a coffeeshop that is more silent? ». The girl was open and eager to help, and I try to ramble in the meantime. But when I run out of things to say, I leave. In hindsight, I should have dropped the « where I come from… » conversational gambit at least once. So in general the girls gave me no hostile reactions but it’s hard to establish a chat where you can build rapport. Towards the end of yesterday I did an approach and the girl hooked and suggested to walk. I tried to take her for an instant date but it didn’t work. I suggested another time and she seemed interested but I didn’t go for the number since I was leaving anyway. Today I arrived in Podgorica. It was quite an eventful morning… So I make my way to the international bus station in the morning where I’m taking the bus. I thought the bus was planned to leave at 10h30, but it happened to be 10h15. The problem wasn’t that I arrived too late, because I was there well in advance. I thought it would be a good idea to buy a water at 10h10 because I thought I still had over 20 minutes left. But when I returned to the bus station, I see my bus leaving, which had my luggage already inside… I run like a maniac to try to stop the bus, but to no avail. I return to the bus station and try to explain my situation, to see if there is someone available of that transportation company… Bear in mind that this is the Balkans where things aren’t clearly indicated with signs. There were just a few older men there who speak zero English… After a lot of effort and some help of a lady in one of the little offices of the bus station, I made it clear that I missed my bus with my luggage. Luckily these Albanians were really helpful. A guy made a call to a guy… the guy then says to me that I need to take a taxi somewhere. In a desperate state, I took the risk and agreed to get into a taxi with an older Albanian guy, who speaks no word of English. During the cab ride, he tried to comfort me « no problem! no problem! », but my hope decreases with every second and I’m psychologically distancing myself from that luggage [which in the end were just some clothes]. I’m really starting to regret this trip. I was initially thinking he was going to drop me of at a city of the coast, Durres, as that was the next stop of the bus. But then he randomly stops at the side of some road with a small coffeeshop and some guys cleaning a car. He’s trying to call some people and he’s talking in Albanian. I’m starting to lose patience and think it’s all in vain. At this point I’m really convinced that the « catching my bus scenario » is a lost cause, and that this taxi drive is just a simple use of opportunity on their end to make a quick buck. I try to connect to the WiFi of that coffee place and started drafting an email to the bus company explaining my situation and asking whether and where I could retrieve my luggage… but then suddenly the bus arrives and picks me up. So the bus first went to make a detour to the coast and then passed the road where I was waiting. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see a vehicle coming my way… pfew! Back to the approaches… I did a few sincere indirects openers today in Tirana to get to the bus station, maybe 2. I opened with an Indian/Austrian girl during a bus break, as I saw her laughing at my comment when I told a Canadian granny tourist that I now have PTSD from missing buses. It was ok until she had to come with some SJW bullsh*t that I’m a white guy and don’t experience racism and stuff like that. During the bus ride I bantered a bit with 2 Canadian old women, although I sometimes found them a bit neurotic, having to comment and complain on everything « this road is slow, I thought we would take a highway », « they are collecting our passports? I hope we will get them back! » , « why is the bus stopping? he put off his enginge! » - seems a bit typical Northern American. Something on Podgorica. I can understand why some people call it a ghost town. But honestly, I’m quite glad that I’ve left Tirana. It was becoming exhausting, especially due to the excessive amount of cars driving everywhere and the lack of traffic hygiene. It was hard to find tranquility in that city besides in the place I stayed in. Just walking there became taxing on my energy levels. So it’s quite refreshing to be in Podgorica. I did about 13 sets, got 3 numbers and got more invested reactions generally. Maybe a calmer city is a contributing factor to girls being more at ease? 15 approaches in total today.
Today I visited a a little city at the coast, Budva, which has a walled medieval town. Weather was quite shitty but it was nice to do some sort of excursion instead of pondering the streets and talking to girls. Did 9 approaches today and got 4 numbers from it. I feel like I’m finally starting to hit my vibe and that I’m more and more having authentic chats. The cold approaches in Albania were starting to feel a bit robotic at some point. Approached a girl with a cowboy hat, I said that I found that interesting. Another girl her reaction went as follows « This is a joke right? I once got approached in this street when I was wearing a black dress. A guy asked for my number. » She subsequently took a picture of that street. Maybe she was approached by Kowe? She was friendly and not hostile though. Decided to finetune my front stops and stop girls at a 12 o’clock angle instead of the side or 45 degrees. Got one good reaction from that, but also a blow-out. Tomorrow I will relax a bit. Do some approaches, change apartments and run some errands. I have 2 dates lined up for tomorrow, but flaking is always possible. TOTAL 61 approaches 1 i-date 8 numbers
