cyber sex with webcam girls.

Umm...I'd say cut your losses and consider it lesson learned. It happens to the best of us. That is their ( the online sex industry sleazeballs) hustle and much like the gambling casinos, you are playing a game where the odds of winning are purposely stacked against you and in their favor. Much like the proverbial donkey led on by a carrot dangling on a string, they place the thing that you desire in your face, knowing you might follow. So my question to you is just how comfortable you are playing the role of the jackass.

 

@Huffster as the saying goes: "Charge it to the game". This webcam girl does not like you it sounds like you rationally know this.
What are your hobbies AFK?
What are the obstacles preventing you from approaching women IRL?
Advice: same advice I give everyone:
-cold showers, as cold as you can go, as often as you can go, as long as you can go. Literally do it in lieu of PMO for the first few weeks as a coping mechanism
-weights and / or running
-come to this forum instead of going to webcam girl
-definitely engage in your IRL relationships with friends / family as much as possible. It's easy and tempting to open another tab and go to webcam girl...
-this might not work for you, but try to see the tragic side of her circumstance. Look I'm not some brow beating puritan, but at the end of the day, no one dreams of being in the S industry as a child. It's something that generally happens because of some negativity in your life. There is a 99.999% chance she doesn't *really* want to do what she is doing. The best thing you can do is respect her as a human being, and not engage with a real life human being in that way. Like I said this tactic might not work for you.
I know the desire is strong. After all I'm on this forum as well.
Please take care. Kind Regards.

 

I've wasted hundreds of dollars on web cam girls probably closer to a grand. I quit it though because it made me feel more shitty than watching porn did. Haha. Is that weird or just me? Never got connected to any of them though kinda felt sorry for them. Ask yourself what put them in a position to degrade there selves for money? Drugs? sex trade? child with cancer? Sex addict? Felon? Abuse? Who knows but it cant be good and I doubt they enjoy it. There are a few that do of course.

 

Matt, listen I'm a woman. I'm also a woman that has been a master manipulator of men. I could wear many masks to get people to emotionally connect with me, but at the end of the day, I was just there to consume their souls. If I needed to be demure and vulnerable. I'd be demure and vulnerable. If I needed to be independent and outspoken I'd be that person as well. I could disclose deeply personal things to someone, knowing that they would be "hooks" to gain their trust and their love. This was something I did a lot, and I would often do it to younger more impressionable men to me. It was part of my PMO problem, I wanted to emotionally manipulate men after developing a narrative that they were abuse pricks that you see in P. I'd never give S, just heavily hint implicitly at the prospect of it, and the manipulation was endless. I'd tell them about personal family issues, abuse issues etc... but it was all a ploy to get them, pardon my french, c*nt struck over me. And all of these young men, they were all so predictable. I used to get absolutely high on the feeling of trapping them into this emotional world of manipulation. Ultimately I wanted to hurt them. I had no intention of leaving my husband, they were disposable souls to me to feed my ego and need to emotionally abuse them. The only thing is, I didn't do it for money, I did it to get revenge on me because of my own personal issues. I'll say it again: it's like shooting fish in a barrel. You are emotionally and sexually vulnerable when you see her. Trust me, she knows this, and she is working it babe! Maybe this woman is a decent person, but she'd playing you like it's her job. Do you know why? Because IT IS HER JOB. I really hope you consider what I am telling you.
Meet someone IRL, take the time and effort to do it. Suffer defeat and rejection on your journey to meet someone IRL. It will pay it's dividends.

 

Bro trust me im a used to be pmo addict the hardcore one..bro every kind of bad addiction will eat you alive soon or later best way is be natural to have sexual plasure and stop pmo.its destroying our soul and body to become real man.goodluck

 

Watching and engaging with web cam girls = porn @Mattsfreedom.

 

Do you have borderline personality disorder @mnemonic_lattice?

 

You're short-changing yourself. You are settling for a fantasy, even though you readily admit that it is mere fantasy, when you could be interacting with a real woman and developing a sincere, solid relationship with someone who truly cares about you.

Avoid judging the cam girl or even feeling sorry for her. If you want to do anything, at all, RESPECT her and stop using her to get off. But, really, the focus should be on yourself, not the cam girls of the world.

Try to find your truth by answering questions like:

• Why am I doing this?
• What is my payoff?
• What drives me to this lifestyle?
• What voids am I trying to fill?
• What are my triggers?

The better you understand yourself, the better you will be able to manage your emotions, your triggers, and your own actions.

Perhaps, I come across as cold. That is not the intention, and it most certainly is not who I am. But when it comes to emotions, you have to distinguish your rational self from your emotional self. Otherwise, you get nowhere.

Good luck to you.

 

Interesting for you to say this. I googled it, and the answer is: possibly.
The good news is, I'm currently seeing a CBT psychologist. I had a mother who suffered from narcissistic personality disorder and did some pretty f*cked up stuff to me. I tend to relate more to additive personality traits and mania.
I'm currently on SSRI anti-depressants, which seem to be regulating my moods. Is BPS quite a generic term?
Looking at the NHS post:
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/borderline-personality-disorder/Pages/Introduction.aspx

• emotional instability – the psychological term for this is 'affective dysregulation' - YES
• disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – ('cognitive distortions' or 'perceptual distortions') YES
• impulsive behaviour YES
• intense but unstable relationships with others YES, with the exception of the rock in my life. My husband of over 10 years!

 

...I think I became a fan of yours after you said "master manipulator of men" and "consume their souls".

 

Seriously don't! I just checked your profile and you're 21. That's my "profile" for manipulation. I'm here to get help man, not to find young men to manipulate and f*ck over.
What I did, was on the abuse spectrum. Luckily for me none of it was illegal because everyone was over 18, and I never actually had S with any of them. But the emotional rape I did was endless. I don't really know how to atone for what I've done.
My husband pointed me in the direction of suicide rates in young men, and I realised that I could have really messed up some of these peoples emotions and states of mind.
Look I'm in my mid thirties. The lads I'd go for all fit the same profile:
-young 18-22-ish,white,tall,working class,slightly chubby, perhaps slightly spotty, sexually inexperienced, shy, smart (well not that smart to get sucked into my b.s), generally lads that might have a casual job at a supermarket check out - total hunting ground for me! Typical lads that do online gaming and aren't confident with women. This "profile" would pretty much increase my chance of success to 99.99%
Then I'd come along, flatter them, tell them they were smart, attractive, "going somewhere in life". Then I'd "hook" them, but disclosing personal sh*t about myself, often untrue. This was to get them emotionally vulnerable. I'd wait for that stupid look in their eyes, and they all get it. It must be what a serial killer feels like before they kill someone and their victims are looking into their souls. Because I would literally get off on "the look". "The look" of, "you're emotionally mine you stupid f*ck. "
Once I got that, I got bored of them, and was on to another victim.
And how did I justify all this: I would go home and look at abusive, degrading, rape based, Gonzo based porn and feed this fucked up narrative in my head that all men are rapists and deserve to be hated, despised, f*cked over.
Moral of the story: STAY THE F*CK AWAY FROM WOMEN LIKE ME! Well the demon side of me. I have a normal side of well...

 

BPD is not a generic term at all. There are 10 classified personality disorders and of those, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder is the most common, most complex, most studied, and certainly one of the most devastating, with up to 10% of those diagnosed committing suicide. BPD exists in approximately 2-4% of the general population; up to 20% of all psychiatric inpatients and 15% of all outpatients. Females predominate (about 75%) within psychiatric settings while males are more common in substance abuse or forensic settings.

BPD patients are difficult to treat and often evoke feelings of anger and frustration in the people trying to help. Such negative associations have caused many professionals to be unwilling to make the diagnosis. Many give precedence to co-occurring conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, substance abuse, anxiety disorders and eating disorders. This problem has been aggravated by the lack of appropriate insurance coverage for the extended psychosocial treatments that BPD usually requires.

Borderline Personality Disorder Diagnosis *DSM-IV-TR Diagnostic Criteria

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

(2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

(3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

(4) Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behaviour covered in Criterion 5.

(5) Recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour.

(6) Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

(7) Chronic feelings of emptiness.

(8) Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

(9) Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

*Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, published by the American Psychiatric Ass.

P.S. Please note this information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psych...erline_and_narcissistic_personality_disorders

 

Haha ic. Well thank you for the warning. But no worries, there was no serious meaning behind me being your fan. I just thought your word choice was interesting. That's all that was. And I hope you resolve your demon side...it sounds scary.

And since you shared some of your story, I guess I feel like sharing a little bit of mine. Although mine isn't as intense as your story LOL. I used to be obsessed with making women obsessed with me. Because of my porn addiction, I was so damn socially awkward especially with women. It became some sort of complex because I hated being like that. So everyday I would try to figure out how to make it happen. I would say I got pretty good at it and I started doing it uncontrollably. My target was just anyone around me...I even have a story where this grandma sent me a love letter. No I'm not into grandmas and no I did not confront her or have any intention of seducing her...it's a long story. Anyways, I got so much satisfaction in just seeing how women looked at me with that look of "I want this guy" and I basically turned super narcissistic. My favorite target were those girls who are smart, very experienced, hard to get, popular with men, and even lesbian. Because if they lesbian, that makes the challenge that much better. Long story short, I got a couple girls like that to be obsessed with me and I thought it was awesome because it gave me confidence and fed my narcissistic needs. But whenever I did this, I saw women as things. Or like trophies or achievements. They weren't really people to me...it's probably porns fault. Once I started going on nofap, I can't do that anymore because I'm starting to see women and also men as human beings. I'm starting to see a persons importance and value. So maybe you were right. Men can become scumbags like me. But maybe that's porns fault. Idk.

 

@Dooont stop! beliiieving! the main thing to realise about my behaviour, and to an extent what you described of yours, is that it actually stems from a place of deep unhappiness and insecurity.
I generally keep myself so busy in life I don't have to FEEL anything. I don't do feeling. I'm learning this from the CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) I'm going through. I came from a family with super high expectations about career, money, looks, etc... but the way they tried to "push" me toward success was by telling me everyday that I was ugly, fat and stupid. So most of the actions I take, are to numb the belief that I am those things. I know rationally I am none of those things, I'm a healthy weight, I work out, take care of my hair, skin, nails, dress well etc... my husband is hot, tall, fit, successful, talented... I won't go into other details as they are a bit graphic , but he's a "high value partner", and I've managed to pull him and keep him, so I must be someone attractive enough to do that. I've done well in my career, I'm currently taking a break to pursue more education, as I've always wanted to a PhD so I could get the kudos of people saying, excuse me "Dr Lattice"... but that's probably me pushing away the "you're stupid" narrative.
I go through actions so I don't feel ugly, fat and stupid.
For ugly, I go sooth that with PMO and then emotionally manipulating people.
For fat, I've struggled with eating disorders in the past to stay fit and thin, thank goodness that's behind me now that I've discovered weight training.
For stupid, I always push myself academically and at work. I'm not going to be happy until I have 2 PhDs.
But why am I doing it? I guess I just want to be adored because my primary care givers as a child kept telling me I was STUPID, FAT, AND UGLY...

 

lol, this post is f*ck all to do with cyber sex with webcam girls now. It's turned into a DMC...

 

Yes i know exactly that feeling, i was in a time really into web cam chating, due to the interactivity and because it felt fun, but after i realized i was a complete loner and looser with no real gf, i happly left it