psychotic

I keep getting urges to try drugs. At one point for a few times I tried to chug a bottle of nutmeg (a kitchen spice) to trip balls off of. (DON'T DO IT IT'S A REALLY HORRIBLE WAY TO GET HIGH AND I HAD A HORRIFIC EXPERIENCE AND I JUST REALISED AFTER THAT IT COULD DAMAGE YOUR KIDNEYS.) Despite...

So first things first: this is the longest streak I have ever upheld. 57 days today. And emotions are coming up that are absolutely overwhelming. Profound grief, unbelievable depression, wanting to die, racing thoughts about racing thoughts, fighting thoughts, looping thoughts, an inability to...