100 Days Without P or M - The Ultra Marathon (Started on May 15, 2020)

On to day 41 guys but still going hard after reading many brothers relapsed stories even my brain also started to convince me “hey it’s ok now watch it if you relapse it’s ok we can start fresh race from August” that’s the reason my yesterday went like hell cuz I didn’t had any interest on anything whether it’s watching a movie nor listening to music but still I was able control myself cuz some where in deep inside of me Telling me that NO you have already came half way now don’t look back this time no matter what you have to complete what you have started, do it for yourself, for your health, brain health, don’t give any fuckin reasons. After all this thoughts I had my dinner and slept, but this morning I got random dreams. I’m performing sex with 3-4 different actresses in different times, even in that deep sleep I’m trying to stop Cuz I know it’s not real and for that moment that dream used to end but after some time another dream with different actress but still I’m doing the same thing with her.
I finally got up at 7am but still that laziness, i don’t want to do anything and want to sleep more kind of desire is there.

observation: yesterday I missed cold shower, had some sweets & also whole day alone at My home.

stay strong brothers.

 

Way to go my friend. Great job dismissing the thoughts to relapse!

 

I am really happy to complete 30 days!
Thank you all, for the support, without that it is really difficult to stay on track. It is a lone battle otherwise.

I recently made progress around sleeping early and getting up early and waking up around 5- 5:30 AM and then going for a walk for half an hour. It feels great to take the morning fresh air.

Still a lot to be done, like making the best use of the early morning hours specially for learning new skills online. My locality is usually a little noisy - Milk vans, Water tank vehicles, bikes, and cars honking, it is really distracting during the day. So the morning hours would be great to invest in meditation, reading, listening and what not.

I tried meditating for 10 minutes with the help of a video but I couldn't keep it going. Was feeling uncomfortable sitting, sometimes it is legs that felt uncomfortable, or sometimes the spine was not straight. I was even yawning. My breathing is so shallow actually. It is so difficult to remain still, focusing on breathing. I will keep doing this anyways.

Let's see how the upcoming days go.

Keep fighting guys!

 

I did after my walk, today. Surely will continue to do it after returning from walk.
Obviously as I practice more, the better it will get. Will report the progress for sure, on the forum.

 

Wow! Congratulations @Jack Herafter !! Well done! Keep going!

 

There are many apps which tell how much time you spend on each of them and even things like when do you use your phone the most. I am using this app called YourHour. It would be helpful to see the data and take action.

 

69 to go
99 done

 

On to day 42...

 

How apt it was for Swami Vivekananda to say that "The whole point is to discipline the mind."

We are rewiring our mind with respect to the arousing trigger that lead to PMO. Similarly, this re-wiring applies in every aspect of our lives. Be it reacting to someone's actions, or any situation of crisis, or a really happy moment. We have the choice to respond to the things.

We are wiring or re-wiring our mind, all the time! Why not do it in a positive way which is good for our mind, body and the world at large?

 

Happy Evening
On Day 11 / 100
Got Up at 08.30am today. Planned to wake up at 5.00 am Tomorrow

 

68 to go my friends.
Completing my personal 100

 

Congratulations on 100 days F.G., you won your own marathon!! Keep running man, you're doing so great!

I've been in a bit of bad place since yesterday when I broke my recent streak of 19 days. Just down in the dumps because of it but I know that letting myself feel that way for long won't be helpful and so I'm doing what I can to get back to a productive and successful mindset. It's honestly taking some real effort to pull myself back up so let that be a cautionary tale to all the runners here still in it. It's much easier to maintain your streak than it is to start from scratch because you're stronger right now. You have momentum behind you. It may feel easy right now but try not to forget how challenging it is to get started. Take good care of yourselves, get as much rest as you can, stay nourished, and keep a positive outlook and you're bound to make it.

You're all doing great, 32 days behind you! Don't look back, you got this!!!

 

Congratulations @fg4795 ! Well done! Way to go!

 

Thanks to both of you my friends, I am just trying to finally get rid of this addiction. Once for all this time

 

Day 32nd got over. I am happy for that.

I am feeling lonely.

Daydreaming and wishing that all the problems in life be solved in a day. Things like switching job for better salary, getting rid of procrastination by becoming productive, feeling good about myself and so many things. I am not willing to work hard, and go through pain, but wishing all the good things to happen. This is so pathetic!

Not doing the daily chores on time. And at work, responding only when someone is asking for updates on the assigned task. Have been in this situation for over 5-6 years. I have become a shameless work-shirker

I am sick of the thought of looking at my small penis, and then because of this I have not been attending interviews in past. When I wear full pants I feel like my thing is so small, and it is! I am not able to let go of this thought since years!
I am too much focused on my penis size when flaccid, when I wear pants/jeans. Recently I saw some people looking at my thing while I was walking. They might be thinking, this guy must be having a very small package.

Frankly I have never opened myself up to anyone as much, and talked about all these things which makes me feel embarrassed, insecure, abnormal. I was wondering if I could tell all this things to someone. I don't think anyone that close to me and would understand me.

Many of my friends have tried to help me and encourage to study and make a job switch, but I am stuck with all this penis stuffs and all that, and sitting helplessly without any drive and motivation to do even this small stuffs like washing the dish washes, preparing breakfast etc.
I forget things, which are said a little while ago. I don't know when will I get rid of this memory issue.

I am getting a paycheck at the end of the month. May be this is reason, I am not doing anything at all to improve. Pathetic

I don't know I feel so dumb even asking for help, when I already have the knowledge to get out of all this! In near future, after my elder brother gets married, I will definitely be pressurized for getting married. My current salary won't be able to survive me, my life partner and support my parents decently in their old age. I must do something about it!

Enough of rambling!

Take care guys!

 

Day 43...

going hard.
I’m getting old dreams
I got my dad dreams.

 

This too shall pass, @Nikhil001o . I am listening to music to feel better, and singing along too. I like to sing, may be I should go for some vocal singing training.