12 hours after the emergency !

Hi,
Today is the 31 day of my reboot. İ had a wet dream and i waked up since then i can't sleep. İn addition to i watched some girls in bikini multiple times and some of them were doing erotic motions. And i accidentally opened a porn site,so i closed my eyes quickly till i closed the site. After first time of watching these girls o found some drops of precum in pants and i felt so cold.
By the way, i stopped when i felt i really want to relapse and watch porn and masturbate for hours ,so i closed these stuff and went to read my relapse journal and i discovered that I'm always doing the same thing
1-waching some hot girls
2- find drops in my pants
3- swear not to do it again
4- back to watch it
5- watch porn and relapse for few days
And now i really want to watch it again but I know it will end by relapse and I'm afraid of relapse because i can't relapse this time i suffered a lot during the past 30 days and i many times had the feeling of desire to suicide and i don't want back. İ know i did wrong by watching these girls and i really intend not to back.
But could you please advise me ? What should I do now ?

 

Now it's More than12 hours of what happened and i still have some urges especially when i remember these clips.
I'm trying to cope with it and telling myself it's all my fault,so i need to bear the responsibility of my actions.