Hey everybody,
My background: I’m 23 yo, still a virgin, and I work as an officer on a cargo ship. I work contracts of 3 months on board, followed by 2 months of vacation. I love my job, but from December till March, rather than sailing with my ship, I had a contract where I had to lay at anchor with the ship in a bay in China without work, without any way of going off the ship, and unfriendly, asocial, idiotic colleagues. I used to fap about one or two times a day.
I started the PMO challenge at the end of November, because I was sick of all of it. I was sick of watching girls on my screen, without ever approaching, meeting, dating or touching a girl in real life. I was getting sick of all these abstractions that you see every day on your screens, without ever experiencing it yourself in real life. I started to feel that all this fapping did not give my body and mind the tendency/urge to pursue girls in real life.
I am sailing now for 1,5 year. Every time I was about to go home, I promised myself that: ‘this vacation, I WILL find myself a girlfriend’. 2 months later, I went on board again, still lonely, still with my dick in my hand. Until last vacation.
In November I started my hard-mode PMO challenge. 20 days later, I went on board my ship (half December). In my last weekend at home, I started feeling the ‘superpowers’ described here. In my crossfit gym, I saw some girls watching me, in the supermarket too, and then the next day also in the airport. Then I went on board the ship with 14 other men, goodbye superpowers!
I could tell you about the ups and downs I have had while doing this challenge, but it’s so different for each of us that I think it’s not really useful. But I want to share with you one experience which, as I see it now, is the reason why we do this. This experience happened around day 50.
I came back from work on deck and went in the change room to pull of my coverall and wash my hands. I checked my face in the mirror to see if it was dirty, as I always do. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see that same, loser guy that I always see in the mirror. I saw a man, a real man. I had lost a few kilo’s of weight on board, so I looked a little bit sharper in the face, I was at day 50 of NoFap, I was a man who didn’t fap, who could control himself, my shoulders were wide from training, and I was doing real, manly work. I think I looked at myself for 20 seconds before I looked away. From that moment, I felt a self-confidence inside me that hasn’t left me since. This is not the exterior self-confidence that you get from woman checking you out like I had in my last weekend at home. This was a self-confidence that came from within. From that day on, a lot of things changed. When I had an argument or discussion with somebody, I didn’t shy away from saying my opinion and sticking with it. When somebody tried to use me for his personal gain or because he was lazy, I went against that guy. I started to give backfire to people. I used to keep quiet, to shut my mouth, even when I knew that I was right. But from that day, that was finished and I am damn proud of it. Since that day I feel like a man, and stopped feeling as a boy. That is my greatest accomplishment of NoFap.
In the last days before I went home (day 110), I felt at peace. I completed the challenge, I was going home, I had lost weight, I trained 5 times a week even though I worked 70+ hours a week. Life was good. When I got home, I was so happy, and immediately started training in my crossfit gym again, I hit PR after PR. I started playing guitar again and just love the process of playing, I enjoy the journey towards achieving mastery of guitar playing, and don’t care too much about how long that will take.
Yet, It’s not all going as planned, and that’s why I have written this post. Since I am home, I have visited friends who have been together for 4 years, family a few years older than me who got their first child, my sister who has bought her first house with her boyfriend, etc. And here I am, still on my own. I have a fantastic and full life, but I still miss the love of a girlfriend. Tonight I am going to a party, and there will definitely be plenty of girls. The last few days, there has been a lot of tension building up inside of me, expectations, nerves. I have told myself for 3 months: ‘If I can take a cold shower, I can also approach a girl’. Tonight will be my first test of that. The last few days, this feeling of inner peace is gone, and I start feeling anxious. I see all these people around me, already many steps ahead of me in terms of relationships, and I still have to experience my first time. Like I have to rush or I will miss out!
That’s why I have written this post, because I know that I am wrong. There is no haste, there is no rush, for Christ sake, I am only 23 yo, I still have all the time of the world! I have an amazing and very full life, with a lot of real life experiences. I once read a post on this forum that said the following: ‘Maybe you won’t meet that girl today, or tomorrow, or even next month, but the more you get out into the open and work on yourself, the more chances you will have to meet someone new.’ That’s what I try tell myself the last few days, to have patience, and take the opportunities when they arise. I have written this post to tell myself what I have already accomplished in the last 4 months, and I am starting to feel proud and confident again while writing this.
NoFap is an amazing challenge, and not a lot of people succeed in it, I hope you will be one of them.
Out.
My background: I’m 23 yo, still a virgin, and I work as an officer on a cargo ship. I work contracts of 3 months on board, followed by 2 months of vacation. I love my job, but from December till March, rather than sailing with my ship, I had a contract where I had to lay at anchor with the ship in a bay in China without work, without any way of going off the ship, and unfriendly, asocial, idiotic colleagues. I used to fap about one or two times a day.
I started the PMO challenge at the end of November, because I was sick of all of it. I was sick of watching girls on my screen, without ever approaching, meeting, dating or touching a girl in real life. I was getting sick of all these abstractions that you see every day on your screens, without ever experiencing it yourself in real life. I started to feel that all this fapping did not give my body and mind the tendency/urge to pursue girls in real life.
I am sailing now for 1,5 year. Every time I was about to go home, I promised myself that: ‘this vacation, I WILL find myself a girlfriend’. 2 months later, I went on board again, still lonely, still with my dick in my hand. Until last vacation.
In November I started my hard-mode PMO challenge. 20 days later, I went on board my ship (half December). In my last weekend at home, I started feeling the ‘superpowers’ described here. In my crossfit gym, I saw some girls watching me, in the supermarket too, and then the next day also in the airport. Then I went on board the ship with 14 other men, goodbye superpowers!
I could tell you about the ups and downs I have had while doing this challenge, but it’s so different for each of us that I think it’s not really useful. But I want to share with you one experience which, as I see it now, is the reason why we do this. This experience happened around day 50.
I came back from work on deck and went in the change room to pull of my coverall and wash my hands. I checked my face in the mirror to see if it was dirty, as I always do. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see that same, loser guy that I always see in the mirror. I saw a man, a real man. I had lost a few kilo’s of weight on board, so I looked a little bit sharper in the face, I was at day 50 of NoFap, I was a man who didn’t fap, who could control himself, my shoulders were wide from training, and I was doing real, manly work. I think I looked at myself for 20 seconds before I looked away. From that moment, I felt a self-confidence inside me that hasn’t left me since. This is not the exterior self-confidence that you get from woman checking you out like I had in my last weekend at home. This was a self-confidence that came from within. From that day on, a lot of things changed. When I had an argument or discussion with somebody, I didn’t shy away from saying my opinion and sticking with it. When somebody tried to use me for his personal gain or because he was lazy, I went against that guy. I started to give backfire to people. I used to keep quiet, to shut my mouth, even when I knew that I was right. But from that day, that was finished and I am damn proud of it. Since that day I feel like a man, and stopped feeling as a boy. That is my greatest accomplishment of NoFap.
In the last days before I went home (day 110), I felt at peace. I completed the challenge, I was going home, I had lost weight, I trained 5 times a week even though I worked 70+ hours a week. Life was good. When I got home, I was so happy, and immediately started training in my crossfit gym again, I hit PR after PR. I started playing guitar again and just love the process of playing, I enjoy the journey towards achieving mastery of guitar playing, and don’t care too much about how long that will take.
Yet, It’s not all going as planned, and that’s why I have written this post. Since I am home, I have visited friends who have been together for 4 years, family a few years older than me who got their first child, my sister who has bought her first house with her boyfriend, etc. And here I am, still on my own. I have a fantastic and full life, but I still miss the love of a girlfriend. Tonight I am going to a party, and there will definitely be plenty of girls. The last few days, there has been a lot of tension building up inside of me, expectations, nerves. I have told myself for 3 months: ‘If I can take a cold shower, I can also approach a girl’. Tonight will be my first test of that. The last few days, this feeling of inner peace is gone, and I start feeling anxious. I see all these people around me, already many steps ahead of me in terms of relationships, and I still have to experience my first time. Like I have to rush or I will miss out!
That’s why I have written this post, because I know that I am wrong. There is no haste, there is no rush, for Christ sake, I am only 23 yo, I still have all the time of the world! I have an amazing and very full life, with a lot of real life experiences. I once read a post on this forum that said the following: ‘Maybe you won’t meet that girl today, or tomorrow, or even next month, but the more you get out into the open and work on yourself, the more chances you will have to meet someone new.’ That’s what I try tell myself the last few days, to have patience, and take the opportunities when they arise. I have written this post to tell myself what I have already accomplished in the last 4 months, and I am starting to feel proud and confident again while writing this.
NoFap is an amazing challenge, and not a lot of people succeed in it, I hope you will be one of them.
Out.
You are an inspiration. Wonderful story.
