24 yrs, 12 years of pain

Boomer193 · May 2, 2020

Hello everyone! I'm a 24 year old man who recently passed my 24th birthday. It's difficult for me to really state the effects my porn addiction has had on my life, because it never really occurred to me that I never lived my life. Still, I can plainly see the type of man it's morphed me into. I started when I was twelve. My youth was stolen from me, and all the while I was under the impression that I was the one making the decision, that I was in control.

I wasn't.

I don't take interest in people. My old hobbies are boring and stale to me, and I boot up the computer to play video games or read web novels simply because that's what I used to enjoy. The apathy, the boredom feeds my porn cravings, and I've disconnected from everyone and everything I used to think was important. Friends, family, my spirituality (I know that a lot of us here aren't spiritual in any way, and that's your story). My story is half of a lifetime of trying and failing to break the habit on willpower and failing every time. This porn addiction and the cycles of failure instilled a certain attitude in me, that I was destined for failure. Thus, I've spent most of my life giving up on things. Acting, writing, getting fit? Well, I tried once and I gave up. Asked out a dear friend of mine to a romantic relationship and got rejected? I gave up on seeking romance. My school life and adult life has been spent on giving up on things, but I'm calling it here. I'm not going to give up.

I want to get better.

After I post this hello message, I'm going to put on jeans and a shirt, and go out to buy some rubber bands and a dumbbell (I've heard that using them helps). I've already bookmarked the panic button. I'm not going to let this end at "I want to get better". Heck, I'm probably going to fail once or more, and reset my 90 day counter. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. What I won't do anymore is give up.

I'm going to get better.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading.

| Nico | · May 2, 2020

Welcome to the community i can very much relate to your story. Rest assured you came to the right place looks like you're all fried up and ready to get your life back. Wish u all the best on your journey. God bless

Deleted Account · May 5, 2020

Hey, welcome to the NoFap community
: )

It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!
First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:
Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button/
Set up your day counter /
Rebooting Resources/
Accountability groups (new!)/
About NoFap/ Support NoFap

Here is just some advice:
First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you.

Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement.
The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see.
People will find your profile and give you support.

There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team!
We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs.
Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish.

Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate sectionfor you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on.

Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : )

Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!

Deleted Account · May 5, 2020

Hello and welcome

Right path · May 11, 2020

Hi
welcome!
Let's fight together and take our lives back!
I'm new here as well but I can feel the positive effect on me already. Since I signed up on here last sunday I didnt watch any porn.

Griitings · May 12, 2020

Boomer193 said: ↑

Hello everyone! I'm a 24 year old man who recently passed my 24th birthday. It's difficult for me to really state the effects my porn addiction has had on my life, because it never really occurred to me that I never lived my life. Still, I can plainly see the type of man it's morphed me into. I started when I was twelve. My youth was stolen from me, and all the while I was under the impression that I was the one making the decision, that I was in control.

I wasn't.

I don't take interest in people. My old hobbies are boring and stale to me, and I boot up the computer to play video games or read web novels simply because that's what I used to enjoy. The apathy, the boredom feeds my porn cravings, and I've disconnected from everyone and everything I used to think was important. Friends, family, my spirituality (I know that a lot of us here aren't spiritual in any way, and that's your story). My story is half of a lifetime of trying and failing to break the habit on willpower and failing every time. This porn addiction and the cycles of failure instilled a certain attitude in me, that I was destined for failure. Thus, I've spent most of my life giving up on things. Acting, writing, getting fit? Well, I tried once and I gave up. Asked out a dear friend of mine to a romantic relationship and got rejected? I gave up on seeking romance. My school life and adult life has been spent on giving up on things, but I'm calling it here. I'm not going to give up.

I want to get better.

After I post this hello message, I'm going to put on jeans and a shirt, and go out to buy some rubber bands and a dumbbell (I've heard that using them helps). I've already bookmarked the panic button. I'm not going to let this end at "I want to get better". Heck, I'm probably going to fail once or more, and reset my 90 day counter. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. What I won't do anymore is give up.

I'm going to get better.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading.
Click to expand...

Welcom friend!

Jonathan Longo Sanfratello · May 12, 2020

Boomer193 said: ↑

Hello everyone! I'm a 24 year old man who recently passed my 24th birthday. It's difficult for me to really state the effects my porn addiction has had on my life, because it never really occurred to me that I never lived my life. Still, I can plainly see the type of man it's morphed me into. I started when I was twelve. My youth was stolen from me, and all the while I was under the impression that I was the one making the decision, that I was in control.

I wasn't.

I don't take interest in people. My old hobbies are boring and stale to me, and I boot up the computer to play video games or read web novels simply because that's what I used to enjoy. The apathy, the boredom feeds my porn cravings, and I've disconnected from everyone and everything I used to think was important. Friends, family, my spirituality (I know that a lot of us here aren't spiritual in any way, and that's your story). My story is half of a lifetime of trying and failing to break the habit on willpower and failing every time. This porn addiction and the cycles of failure instilled a certain attitude in me, that I was destined for failure. Thus, I've spent most of my life giving up on things. Acting, writing, getting fit? Well, I tried once and I gave up. Asked out a dear friend of mine to a romantic relationship and got rejected? I gave up on seeking romance. My school life and adult life has been spent on giving up on things, but I'm calling it here. I'm not going to give up.

I want to get better.

After I post this hello message, I'm going to put on jeans and a shirt, and go out to buy some rubber bands and a dumbbell (I've heard that using them helps). I've already bookmarked the panic button. I'm not going to let this end at "I want to get better". Heck, I'm probably going to fail once or more, and reset my 90 day counter. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. What I won't do anymore is give up.

I'm going to get better.

Sorry for the long post. Thank you for reading.
Click to expand...

Hey boomer193! Great initiatives! Keep going like this, you'll do great!

Deleted Account · May 28, 2020

Hi @Boomer193, all the best to you! Feel free to join the 'The Matrix' challenge if you wish.

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24 yrs, 12 years of pain

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24 yrs, 12 years of pain

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Right path Fapstronaut

Griitings Fapstronaut

Jonathan Longo Sanfratello Fapstronaut

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