[30-CHALLENGE] THE THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Brokenseany · Aug 30, 2018

Day 3/30

Ender Atreides · Aug 30, 2018

paradigmshifter said: ↑

Thank you, this post means a lot. Sometimes I get so caught up in the feelings of shame and regret post relapse that it's hard to take a step back and look at the progress I've made so far this year - this is the best year in over 10 that I've had with regards to abstinence from PMO, which is great. My focus is now putting one foot in front of the other and building myself up again. All the best to you

Thank you for this post, it strongly resonates with me. After I relapse I always put myself down, which ultimately does nothing to improve my situation. Specifically, I wholly underestimate my ability to climb out of the hole, instead thinking "F it, I've already relapsed I might as well go on and on until the urge completely disappears". I choose this because it's the easy thing to do, and then after the binge is over I go into dejection mode. A better way to approach it would be after a slip, to think "Ok, you've slipped but you've made great progress so far, put your effort into getting back on track now and tomorrow you'll thank yourself for it".

This links into what you say about having respect and true love for yourself - to be truly understanding and caring to yourself at all times would I imagine make this process so much easier. The difficult part is making that self love and respect happen - it's so easy to fall back into periods where I have a negative mindset because I've been used to it for such a long time.

Regarding your second point, I completely agree - overthinking everything makes it harder to make this change happen. Rather than thinking "Hmm, I feel horny and I want to scroll social media to accidentally see some triggering images... but I could read that book I always wanted to read but I haven't touched yet... but I feel horny and I need some stimulation, ok here I am down this path again" is to be mindful of that feeling and rather than dwell on it, go straight to that positive activity, e.g. reading, playing guitar, exercising or whatever. And the difficult thing is that going to that book or picking up that instrument is going to feel uncomfortable and unsatisfying in the beginning because I'm not used to it - I have to think about it and feel right about doing it and then actually do it - which is tiresome. Of course it's so much easier to scroll through social media or watch TV because that's what I've been used to for so long. Getting to the stage where I don't have to think about reading that book or picking up that instrument when I have spare time is where I want to be.

A therapist recommended I read a book called Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi that goes into the above in detail - getting to the stage where positive activities become "flow" activities, rather than unhelpful and harmful activities like PMO which has been a "flow" activity of mine for the past 10 years. I've not picked it up yet but I will carve out the time to give it a read.

"You don't need things to feel a certain way before you move on" - this speaks to me a lot and I'm going to put this in my signature.

Thanks and all the best to both of you.

Day 2
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Paradigmshifter,

Happy to be of some help. It seems like you've more than got all the tools that you need, keep it up and thanks for the honor of the use of what I wrote.

Please let me know if you like that book, I might pick it up as well.

Ender Atreides · Aug 30, 2018

Day 27. So close to day thirty and challenged now like never before, but learning to love it

Jim2015 · Aug 30, 2018

19
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19

Elcamino · Aug 30, 2018

21 days. three weeks..stay strong everyone. FIll your day with activities as well as meditation

Sirus The Phoenix · Aug 30, 2018

Day 26/30 done.

My Best self · Aug 30, 2018

Day 1

mxmd · Aug 31, 2018

day 28 four weeks done

franed98 · Aug 31, 2018

4 weeks nofap.

Player 1 · Aug 31, 2018

Day 4.

djjd · Aug 31, 2018

10/30

Mariomiggy10 · Aug 31, 2018

urge comes when Im peeing cause there are some emissions.. Self control is the key...

Jim2015 · Aug 31, 2018

Today is 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Laffio · Aug 31, 2018

Day 7/30

We sore now boys!

Dr. Jekyll · Aug 31, 2018

Day 18

franed98 · Aug 31, 2018

Lazok Ciprian said: ↑

Day 0, I wanna start this challenge because I fell ashamed any time i watch porn and i wanna stop this bad habit I tried many times but failed but i know that in a community with full of people with the same goal as mine I can go beyond my limits
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you will find the support you need right here. I was struggling a long time like you until I found this platform.

franed98 · Aug 31, 2018

day 8. Aint no stopping me now.

C.Bristow · Aug 31, 2018

15/30. Half way, no stray!!

Jason_Tesla_19 · Aug 31, 2018

Day 18

Elcamino · Aug 31, 2018

day 22..feeling very motivated and it can be contagious

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