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Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by 2525, Oct 2, 2017.
Congratulations on 2 weeks!
All the best...
On 9th day...
8/30.. getting a bit harder, but going forward!
Keep it up.
Hi today I complete 100 days from porn and masterbuation.
This is really great gift I have with help of you people and my higher power
I have very scared experience last night while I was doing work on my PC I was using youtube because I need some content from you tube in my work. My attention was clear there was no urge and craving for porn and masterbuation.
But after 1 minute browse I saw in thumbnail one women video of yoga and excercise with very tight clothes.
Without thinking I press that and video open i feel attracted to see her curvy body and feel arousel my hand automatic go to my P***
And I start rub
After few second I change video and see more sexy women with sexuall content in same excercise stuff. And some body part was visivble. I don't know how my craving reach to peaks in seconds.
My rubbing is continues with slow speed
Then I change 3rd video the women I saw in this I really feel that I want that now. I want to make love with her.
And I start rubing again fastly I really forgot about my recovery and my clean dates, and no fapping forum.
But you people may be not trust, there is strange thing happen i listen a voice inside my brain ,or may be in my heart that say to me I am doing some thing wrong. Very fast I ask to my self what I am doing and why I am doing. I kept away my hand from my P****
And I pray to my higher power and ask give me courage to stop that nonsense I am doing.
And I really feel fear to losing my recovery . I ask to my self that I don't want to ruined my recovery and my clean days I earn.
Then I very fast shut down my PC
And go to sleep.
I took 4 or 5 minute to get normal
I really really thanx to my higher power and you peolple and NoFap admin people because of them we are in recovery
I wish we all enjoys our recovery and keep away ourselves from this YouTube and other websites.
And please guide me I am found my self I am just abstain from P & M
I am not in real recovery. I need that recovery where I don't need these kind of stuff in my life and specially watching other women's sexually I really want to get rid from these.
Really thanx for listen
withdrawal symptoms abound
but I will power through
Thank you. Got 35 days days.